lynn monahan

If I had my lake house I would be heading up there after work today.  Fall is in the air which seems to make a lot of people around here happy and Fall just seems to be a time to be at a Lake House.  Not that I haven’t lived here all of my life, minus the last 5 years, so I’m used to weather here, but it seems to be an unusually short summer this year.  I remember still being cold in the first week of June just a mere 2 months ago.  JUNE. And it’s not even September yet.  I got through last winter having arrived January 25 knowing there were just a couple more months to go of the frigid stuff. Thinking I have about 10 months to go before I’m “hot” again is making me pretty anxious.  That’s not to say it won’t be miserably hot and humid next week ….I’m just saying…it’s a re-adjustment.  Being gone 5 years is not enough time to forget how much I hate being cold. I’m worried about my coping skills.

I really do want a Lake House.

One of my best memories before I moved to Florida was when I lived in the city and would go to the country on the weekends.  I LOVED that.  The hustle and bustle during the week was balanced by the clean air (near the nuclear power plant?) of the weekends.  I work with someone now who goes to her parents place every weekend at Conneaut Lake – a mere 1.5 hours from the big city.  EVERY weekend.  And has been doing that all her life.  Doesn’t that seem like a great idea?  A lake house for the kids to come to.  Maybe not every weekend – but a visit now and then.  Heck, it’s a struggle to get a visit from them when I’m 3 miles away so I’m dreaming (as usual). That said Jimmy has already offered to buy the boat.  LOL.  He also said I should get a house right on the lake, to which I responded that he would have to buy that as well.  There’s quite a bit of price difference between on the lake and one block back. 

I am not one to let my mind relax as I am already already on to my next “what should I do with myself” living-in-my-head self.  Larry pointed out that I just got settled and maybe I should “set” a bit. I am trying to take his advice into consideration, setting a bit, but it seems like when I decide to set, I get a pop-up notice that a new house has just gone on the market at Conneaut Lake. Or, like today, I’m wearing a summer sweater (a sign of Fall) and thinking this calls for a weekend in the country, except I don’t have a country home…at the moment.  It doesn’t help that I follow #farmhouseliving on Instagram and think about how I would remodel all of those lake houses that I lust after.  This dream of mine is almost as strong as that dream I had to move to Florida that grabbed hold of me in 2007 and never let go until I actually got there! (in 2014) – But that dream was so yesterday and now I’m onto the dream of Lake House living.  It took me 7 years to realize the Florida dream – I wonder how long this Lake House dream of mine will take to achieve OR if I lose interest in it next week.  Who knows, next week the dream could be living in Napa Valley. It’s hard to tell with me.

I love being back home and appreciate my 5-year hiatus for what it was.  A hiatus with a chance to make some new friends and warm up.  But now I am home with family and have a hard time believing I ever left them. It feels like I must have lost my mind there for those few years.  Those babies (my great nieces and nephews) are a source of constant joy.  Today is Mya’s SEVENTH birthday.  I can still pick her up (she’s so tiny) and she’s a cuddler, so even though 7 is like ancient she’s still a baby in my mind.  I can’t imagine moving away again, well at least not further than maybe a Lake House, although I’m okay with being a snow bird.  I’m happy to have the farmer’s market again although where I currently live there is nothing close.  Living in Sewickley you just walk there, every Saturday, and it’s a really good farmer’s market.  Living in Mt. Washington, well you have to drive somewhere, or buy it in the city and lug it home on the bus. Seriously, this is not a problem, I feel ridiculous even bringing it up.

I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing – as you can tell by these sporadic, almost non-existent blogs.  I haven’t found my writing spot at my new place.  I have many areas where I could set up.  I have my mom’s old secretary desk which could be a great place, but sitting there I face the wall.  I have the kitchen table which is comfortable but no window.  I have the couch which could work but none of them are the perfect place…yet.  You know, if I had a Lake House, I bet one of those rooms would work well for a writing studio.  The real reasons are I’m just too busy, I’m uninspired, and I’m not sure what I want to write about.  Have you noticed in life how there’s excuses for no matter what decision you make?  For instance, I could just simply tell myself “it’s not time” for writing again.  I could tell myself “everything happens for a reason” or “you’re effing lazy, get back to it” – I could tell myself “this is not your path anymore – go do Reiki – or make cookies” – I could tell myself “it’s like exercise, I just need to start again” – or I could tell myself “quit thinking about it and if you feel like writing, write, otherwise turn on Hulu”

I’m somewhere between all of them.

There are other things in my life that I have enjoyed and have not been able to maintain (in addition to my weight).  Horseback riding comes to mind.  Horseback riding was my #1 joy in life for many years.  But my riding friends are no longer riding, that I know of.  Aimee just moved to South Carolina. The horses are all dead that we rode.  And I’m not getting any younger, although, I have seen many riders well into their 70’s.  WELL into. The more I get away from it the more intimidating it becomes.  I was never real comfortable with the whole tacking up thing – but once on I was pretty fearless…pretty…my riding friends might disagree.  I would love to get back on.  I still have my helmet and chaps.

You know what really puts a damper on life? It’s the working full-time thing.  I mean, I don’t’ mind my job. Nothing personal against the job this time. It’s not like Stetson where I would cry and wonder WTF every day.  This time it’s a great gig.  I have my city view from the 60^th floor. I have time to think about what I’m doing. I’m in the city which is not a bad place to work since I have a relatively short commute. Lately I’ve been remembering all the different places I’ve worked downtown for the past FORTY years. Literally a lifetime in and around downtown Pittsburgh. I have always thought I would have achieved my life’s career goal if I worked for the President of US Steel in the US Steel building.  Well, I work in the US Steel Building.  US Steel is on the 61^st floor.  I’m on 60.  I mean close enough.  So one dream realized.  Moving to Florida for 5 years…realized.  Remember, well I remember, when I first had the move-to-Florida-itch saying I just needed 5 years to recoup after my stint as a single parent (it was emotionally exhausting for me)…I might have initially said 10 years…but 5 was good.  I actually think I said I needed 10 years before becoming a grandmother (and 5 years in Florida).  And you know what?  Those 10 years are up.  I think the way life works is you retire and being a grandmother kinda come at the same time…at least in my scripted life. I’m ready for both.

It’s hard to be the one still working when your friends are retiring (and becoming grandmas) – although as evidenced by my friends who are also grandmas, the working full-time gig might be easier.  Could be a case of “careful what you wish for”.  That said I am really looking forward to what comes next.  I feel like I felt when I graduated from high school, or got married, like on the precipice of something new – a new time – a new era.  I am really looking forward to this retirement thing and the next phase of my life. Social Security says I have 5 years and 8 months but the lottery is still a possibility.  Even without the lottery, as evidenced by my blogging, 5 years goes FAST.  It’s coming right up. I need to get that Lake House in order and start the remodel so I have somewhere to retire to.

One of the very best thing of keeping this blog is looking back over it and seeing where I was last year or 5 years ago.  Finally Florida is always fun, and heartbreaking, to re-read for me to see how that whole experience changed over a couple years. Thinking back to last year around this time Tim died (Stephanie’s husband), having just moved into my Daytona Beach apartment– jumped in the car and drove over to St. Pete to be with Stephanie for the weekend. I had put in for a FMLA leave at Stetson to help my mom move out of Virginia, having just listed her house for sale.  As Facebook reminded me today (last year) was the day I left Stetson to drive to Virginia for the 2-week pack up to help mom move.  I did not know it was the start of my end days at Stetson (still remembered with fraught) and the beginning of the end of Florida days. I did not see it coming at all.  This time last year I was still saying (over and over) “I can’t quit my job” and “I will NEVER move back to Pittsburgh.” Once I accepted my fate they turned out to be two of the best moves I’ve ever made. It will be something to look back at this time next year and see where I am.

I can look back over my life and see some of the “dreams” that have come true and those that I never saw coming.

But then again all my changes have been dreams come true…I just didn’t see “how” or “when” they would happen.

And isn’t THAT something to think about?

xoxoxox

When I moved to Florida everything was brand new. I had a boyfriend, I had all these new kids to interact with, I had a new home, a new weather pattern, a pool, a beach! and because I’m a chatty thing – with this need to communicate – okay maybe it’s just a need to get things out of my head – well that’s when the blog started.  And it was fun because it was all so new.

But now?  It’s just seems like the same ole – same ole – (although really it’s all new again) but I find myself not thinking of anything that seems blog worthy.  I get up, go to work, go home, go to bed. But I still have this need to brain dump daily.  And who is the lucky recipient of these dumps?  Diane.  Poor Diane.  I’m pretty sure after 40 years she just skims them for catch words like “effer” or “bi*ch” or “WTF” – I’m mean she’s busy at her job and doesn’t really have time for my nonsense.  I pretty much have to accept that these dumps are one sided when I send them.  That said she always replies! And I swear she reads them!  Anyway, it’s like these blogs – they are one sided and I have to accept does anyone read them?  It doesn’t really matter, it’s all about the writing.

You might be asking yourself…if you ask yourself anything…what are you saying to Diane that you can’t say in a blog?  And well that answer would be “all kinds of things.” Mostly things you don’t talk about out loud – like how the new girl is not very nice (see I said it anyway) – honestly I’m sitting here knowing I sent a 2-pager email to her last night and at this very second I can’t remember one thing that was in there.

Oh wait, I know – the TV shows I’m watching and what I’ve had for dinner this week.  LOL.  See what I mean?  Poor Diane.

I had the TV on the other night when Love Island came on – I hate those kinds of shows (i.e. Big Brother) so was quickly going to change the channel, but then I thought let’s just wait a minute…and next thing you know I’m glued.  It’s terrible.  But last night I turned it off because after Kyra chose Cashell and broke up Cashell and Caro well it broke my heart and then, then…Cashell was happy that Kyra picked him. I hate him. Diane says I get too invested. She’s not wrong. You should have seen me when Ross cheated on Demelza on Poldark. I changed the channel and watched the last episode of Chernobyl.  This is why I don’t blog now.  Who cares what I’m watching?  Although that said there are many texts to Stephanie that start with “what are you watching now?” And it comes up in conversation a lot with my kids – “what are you guys watching?”

Of course weather is a hot topic here in the Steel Building, especially today. It is absolutely fascinating to see the weather from the 60^th floor.  It does not escape me that I am very very fortunate to have this vantage point – especially since I have been known as the weather girl from way back.  In Florida I loved seeing the sky – the cloud formations, the sunsets – but this view from the 60th floor never ever disappoints.  Well, okay maybe there are too many gray days but you know what I mean – it’s really something.  God really came through for me and this return-to-the-north transition by giving me this daily weather gift. Here’s some pictures just from today…

It was a really rainy day. Like flooding everywhere rain. One of these days I am expecting when the fog lifts from up here on 60 there’s going to be a huge spaceship visible – like in the movie Independence Day.  This is how my mind works. It could happen.

Have I talked about my new place? I’ve posted pictures haven’t I?  I do love it. There’s just so much about it that’s working for me.  Like it’s a house –I don’t have neighbors above or below me – although you can really hear the neighbors on either side.  The other night I thought someone was banging at my door and it was the neighbor doing something inside their house.  That house is also a rental and the landlord is in there doing something major – apparently taking down a wall?  Anyway, I also love my couch, my other new furniture – my old furniture – my deck – my neighbors.  Well, the deck… I had this possum living under it – oh right I’ve already talked about this in my last blog.  So, the landlord had a pest control company come in – caught two things in 5 days but she said she can’t keep the cage up indefinitely because it cost $100 each time they catch something.  Oh well.  But I think they caught my possum. I’ll find out on Saturday when I’m sitting out there.  If not my neighbor, Rich, said he’ll set some traps and the city will come for free and get them.  Crazy city living.

Well this isn’t the first blog that I’ve written during the day, but they don’t get published because as soon as it’s out of my head I think “well that’s stupid” – but if I publish quickly, right after it’s written I don’t bother to think about how stupid it is.  And I just send it out into the ethers.  Just another writing assignment/practice completed.  If I don’t think about this one too much maybe I’ll actually hit send.

The real assignment, if I want to get the writing gene reactivated is to figure out how to make “get up – go to work – come home – go to bed” sound more exciting. Maybe I’ll write about my commute observations and questions. Like the P1 bus. It’s always at the bus stop and it’s always full and there’s always a line. I just don’t understand. Whereever it is going they should put the subway out there.

Riveting isn’t it?

xoxox

There’s something living under my deck.  It is unsettling.  You’d think I’d have given up that kind of thing when I left the woods of Virginia, but no they are all around me living in the city of Pittsburgh.  I have had a momma deer and a very baby fawn in my back yard (well back alley – someone else’s yard) and that fawn was so little it was drinking milk from it’s momma.  I mean it’s not every day you see something like that…in the city.   A week or so ago I was sitting on my deck, face in the sun, which doesn’t happen that often here, and well with eyes shut something jumped, slithered, left the deck.  I felt it.  But jumping up with glasses off and looking around I didn’t see it.  Today, another sunny beautiful beautiful day I thought I’d take my book out and read on my beautiful sunny deck.  But as it is, it is way too hot.  The sun beats down (I’m going to get that umbrella) so I just sat there soaking up some sun when a squirrel jumped onto the deck and I figured – ah ha!  That’s it…Little sucker…and he quickly jumped back off when I said “I see you!” and off he went.  So mystery of the creature solved, so I thought. And then when I went over to the right side to check on a flower pot I heard it again. A slither, a thump, a rustling of some kind right there on the side of the deck. And inside I came. I think that’s enough sun for today.

I’ve met two neighbors – three if you count the one who is moving out this weekend.  Rich who lives right next to me, and I mean right next to me, is very nice and helpful.  He cuts the hillside (I don’t really have a yard) although this week he needs to cut it..lol..and he says he traps raccoons and possums and things of that sort over in his yard.  But he’s away for the weekend or I’d be yelling RICH – when I heard the rustling.  I don’t know if I should be communing with the nature or getting rid of it.  I suppose it depends on what it is.

Another neighbor’s name is Lynn – she is just lovely – she lives a couple doors down and lives in the house her grandfather built.  Her flowers are gorgeous – perfectly landscaped yard AND she has a pool – an above ground pool – very clean.  We’d have to be REALLY good friends though for two of us to float and by the number of people I see on her porch always visiting I would guess I would be low man on the invite list.

However, there is a community pool not too far from me.  I’m gonna try it one of these weekends.  My nephew Kai (4 years old) wants to spend a day with me and he loves swimming so I think that’s when we’ll try it.

So far I love living up here on this hill.  And I mean hill.  I walk to the bus or incline every morning to start my morning commute – it is a very good walk – nice hills for exercise.  Some days I walk, incline, bus and the subway to get to my work.  All of that only takes ½ hour. Isn’t that something?  Other days I take a bus that comes to the end of my street and that bus takes me into the city and then I walk some more in the city to get to work.  I love walking and feeling healthy and all but lately I’ve been spending a lot of time in the chiropractor’s office.  I must have pulled something, I’m assuming during the move, so I’m limping and taking Advil in great quantity after these walks. But that’s going to be all fixed soon and then Sandy said we will walk all over this hill.  I mean it’s so great living up here.  There’s typically always a breeze (except this morning) and a really good breeze too, my street is very quiet as it’s not a thoroughfare – it’s a dead end ish – so nobody really comes on this street.  However, I understand all bets are off on the 4^th of July.

My neighbor Rich says to me the other night “this is your first year isn’t it” – and I’m thinking what the eff is he talking about…well he’s talking about my first 4^th of July on Mt. Washington.  So yes it is true, it is my first year.  And since then my other neighbor Lynn has also given me a heads up about the 4^th.  The city of Pittsburgh does this fireworks display every 4^th of July and it is fabulously fabulous.  But unless you live here or are crazy and want to fight the crowds you only see it on TV.  I think I came in one year with some child and although worth it – heaven forbid you have to pee OR get home.  It’s the getting home that’s the worst.  That’s what my neighbors were sharing with me. They said after the fireworks the traffic backs up for at least an hour as everyone attempts to go home.  That’s when our street gets busy because people don’t know that our street doesn’t go through or off the hill so it’ll be a busy night.  And I need to be sure not to move my car or I will never get my spot back.  Kinda reminds me of when I lived on Treasure Island for that summer and if I moved my car over certain weekends I wouldn’t get it back either.  I’ll just be prepared for my “first” year.  I was going to have my kids or my niece or invite anyone but since it is a work day for me I don’t want people in my house until midnight so maybe next year after I get the lay of the land.  I also found out that the best view – or where they set them off is at the end of my street – I mean I think it’s going to be pretty awesome.

I have much more unpacking to do – I was almost done when we decided to close out and clear out my mom’s storage so now I have her boxes of stuff that I have to figure out what to do with – I have NO room here for storage.  Which makes me think about what I’m learning are the most important things in life.  I think about that Florida adventure of mine – that 5 years away from home that also included the Virginia adventure.  Those memories seem like a book I read – someone else’s book – and I only remember pieces of it now.  And one of the life lessons that I have kept since that time is

1. closet space is important.

It’s really not about having too much stuff – it’s about the necessity of closet space.  I know I can live without these scrapbooks and my mother’s record albums, but when I sit down and go through a box and smile at the memories…well it’s all worth it for that moment that I’m looking.  And how better to remember this life we’ve led – right?  I mean I’m already saying I hardly remember my Finally Florida days – which is not exactly true, but those memories will be going by the wayside sooner than later, especially at this age, and how happy will I be if I have photos to remind me?  Stuff to remind me.  I still keep stuff around that those Baker kids gave me over the years. And I think of them everytime I see one of my trinkets.  Or my glass wares from Katy’s house (at Treasure Island) – or this shell jar and coffee mug from Sandee.  It’s all stuff that I can live without – but I don’t want to. I want to remember. So, therefore, closets are important.

I keep saying I’m going to buy a house next year after I decide if I like living up here. After one month I’m thinking I’ll be staying and trying to find the best street that gives me the best vantage point for sunsets.  Meanwhile, both boys are talking Cali 2020 (moving to California) – it’s a joke right now – but in my life jokes can become reality.  I told them I only had a year’s lease so I can move at any time, but maybe I’ll just let them have their adventure and I’ll stay up here, on this mountain, and wait for them to come home again. IF they even go.

In the meantime, I’ll look at photo albums and get a shovel to protect myself against the creature living under my deck.

xoxox

Some house pics…still getting settled keep in mind!

I think I have a tapeworm.  I am always hungry.  And for the first time in many years my BMI is in the “good” range.  I hope that doesn’t mean I’m dying.  You know how they always ask on medical questionnaires if you “lost any weight lately”?  It’s the only time ever you don’t want to admit you’ve lost weight.  Even though it’s your number 1 goal in life, you don’t want any doctor’s office to ruin it for you.  But I do find myself wondering why I’m not gaining more with the amount I eat.  Perhaps all the steps (actual stairs) I walk every day is helping!  It’s over 60 stairs to get to the subway platform. I walk them every day!  Brenda thought I should walk 60 floors up to my desk but that’s just crazy talk.

So here I am.  Literally months since my last blog.  Other than always hungry, I’m always cold.  I mean it might be nice weather for an afternoon- I can think of one afternoon that I exclaimed to my son, when we were shopping after lunch (I know how cool is that? Lunch with my son..) anyway I said “this is really nice” – and I meant it.  There may have been another day here and there but I would say 95% of the time I’m freezing. Mostly I try and power through the chilled-to-my bones feeling and think of all that I’m grateful for.

I am grateful that I live close to my boys.  We have monthly FAM breakfast with each of us taking a turn hosting.  My first turn was last Sunday.  I took them out to a really good restaurant in the Strip District because I have yet to have my own home.  It was actually one of those nice warmish days.  Jimmy and I walked to the restaurant from his apartment and met Zach and Rachel who were not real happy because they had to park so far away.  It’s not easy to park in the Strip even on a Sunday.  Anyway, I was feeling excited in anticipation because as of June 1, I will be living in the city area in a place called Mt. Washington.  This is the view from the end of the street where I am moving: https://www.google.com/maps/place/425+Augusta+St,+Pittsburgh,+PA+15211/@40.4397307,-80.021942,3a,75y,101.39h,91.71t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sNbV1aY4-vIVupoKfD57Law!2e0!7i13312!8i6656!4m5!3m4!1s0x8834f6bb4047628d:0x51ac1699b4b706b5!8m2!3d40.4353554!4d-80.0239145

This view is 2 blocks from my new little home.  I will walk to this view (Grandview Avenue) every morning to catch the bus.  Maybe I’ll catch the bus. Or I’ll walk a little further up the street to catch the incline that goes down the hill and then either walk the rest of the way or transfer to another bus.  I believe my commute will be cut in half.  I am VERY excited about this move.  If you are not familiar with what an Incline is – it is a cable car that goes straight up the hill – see here: https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x8834f6af9e6ab935%3A0xe871d2bbc2032b83!2m22!2m2!1i80!2i80!3m1!2i20!16m16!1b1!2m2!1m1!1e1!2m2!1m1!1e3!2m2!1m1!1e5!2m2!1m1!1e4!2m2!1m1!1e6!3m1!7e115!4shttps%3A%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPnKw0sXC1zt8rnUJZMWgPIsrqcOg7h1aa7mpVR%3Dw240-h160-k-no!5sduquesne%20incline%20-%20Google%20Search!15sCAQ&imagekey=!1e10!2sAF1QipPnKw0sXC1zt8rnUJZMWgPIsrqcOg7h1aa7mpVR&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjQ25ehmMjhAhXtc98KHQKPAqwQoiowIHoECAsQBg

It is not just a tourist attraction, it is actually a form of commuter transportation. Kinda really really cool.

My beach pictures have been replaced with the daily pictures I take from my window at work.  They mostly look the same (grey)– I’m waiting for the green (trees, grass?) which is starting to pop out…slowly.

The views from my building are incredible. I look out all day.  I forget there are other views from other sides of the building so writing this blog is making me get up and walk to those other vantage points to show you all the views.  It’s not the beach view but it is just as beautiful in a very different way.

This is the view from my desk – Jimmy’s apartment is on the right (circled) – Pittsburgh Pirates stadium in the middle and the Pittsburgh Steelers stadium to the left

Circled in this one is where I will be moving to on Mt Washington

our neighbor sky scraper

Zachary lives where circled

Where the Pittsburgh Penguins play

The “Strip”

We have closed on Mom’s house in Virginia. That chapter (and house) is closed.  Well almost closed.  We still own two acres that we’re just going to hang onto for awhile.  It was sad but also happy as the neighbors all like the new owner who seems very happy with the house and garden!  That makes us all happy.  And although I’ll miss my relators I am ready to put that behind me.

My little Mt. Washington house where I am moving to is not in my hometown.  One day after I got off the bus (in Sewickley – home town – where I am staying with Diane) I decided I’m kinda over this place.  I’ve been moving on for so many years (5) that going back just didn’t feel right.  Mt. Washington location is close to both boys and close to work.  It feels more like where I should be.  I told the boys it’s time to look for “grandmas” home – and although I am not a grandma yet, I am hopeful that someday I will be and well those kids have to have a stable grandma’s home where I can collect more stuff for those grandbabies to have memories of.  I am not adverse to having TWO grandma homes – one in Mt. Washington and one in Florida 😊 but for now I’ll rent in Mt. Washington for a year and see if that’s where we think I should settle.  Could all change again tomorrow but that’s where my head is at today.

I am also grateful for my friend Diane who has been wonderful letting me camp out in her home and put up with me until I found the right place.  She said 6 months and she was right! Well actually it’ll be 4 months total.  That’s a long time to let someone take over your spare room.  I am happy to move on but I’ll miss having a friend as well.  I was talking to my mom the other day about even though it’s so nice I really miss my stuff in storage, and by my stuff I just mean like my calendar, or my mirror, or a certain face cream, and even Di’s bday card that I bought last year is in storage and I won’t be able to get to it until next year’s bday (her bday is May 5). Just little stuff that you miss.  I was saying to my mom “until you’ve experienced not having your own place you don’t really understand how it feels” and then we both started laughing as we looked around the room she lives out of now at my sisters.  She absolutely gets it. She went from a 3 story house filled with treasures to one room. ONE room. And even though she has everything she needs, as do I, there are things you don’t need that you just miss.  And in her case, even when you don’t see them you know things are there when you do need them.

Mom is doing good I suppose.  She’s not really a complainer. Well, that’s not totally true.  She complains about the government and politics but not about herself. My sister and niece (mostly my sister) bring her fresh hot coffee every morning, bring her breakfast, take her for walks, make her dinner and do her laundry.  Quite a different life she leads now.  She used to spend her days sitting on her porch in Virginia in the woods.  Now she sits in her room near the window.  She doesn’t like the cold and it’s much colder here than Virginia – but her room is really really warm so that’s good. She doesn’t want to move out.  She just wants to move on.  There’s been a couple days/weeks when I think “this is it” – and then she bounces back. I’m telling you the saying “blessed with a long life” is a misnomer. At least in some cases.  She just talked to her friend yesterday who is traveling the country (and maybe Europe) at 90 years old.  Her other best friend just got back from Paris with her granddaughter – she’s also 91.  Some people are blessed, but not all.

As for work – in addition to the view – I like it!  It’s a pace that is realistic (compared to that last job) – even while I’m filling in for Kathy who just left for a position closer to home, so in essence two positions again, but it’s STILL manageable.  And they are already making an offer to another person to fill Kathy’s job less than a month later.  I am very very grateful that I don’t go home questioning my sanity every day. My friend Robin, in Florida, told me that I just had to let it go…let the resentment I felt towards Stetson go – this was last October while I was still there.  It’s harder to let go than one might think.  There is quite a bit I miss there (as you can imagine) but that job is not one of them.

I am still having fashion dilemmas.  Five years ago people were still wearing panty hose – although I like the no panty hose rule and believe me I don’t even think they sell panty hose in Florida – but us “old” people I don’t know if we should be going without panty hose and without suntan legs.  It is almost appalling to me seeing all these young people going bare legged – white – and it’s freaking cold out there.  I can’t wrap my head around it and I’m not sure what to do.  I have dresses and skirts and I’m just stuck as to how to wear them.  Tights are a good option but I’m thinking no tights when it’s over 50 degrees. And now most days it’s over 50.  I spend an awful lot of time on my commute checking out what people are wearing.  Mostly pants in my age bracket.  Honestly, as much as I hate panty hose I think if I get the high end ones it’s better to wear those than none until I bronze up. Florida wear is much preferable to this. I’m not complaining, I’m just making an observation.

In summary, I have always hated the cold.  To the point where I cry.  There really are no words that describe how sad being cold makes me. BUT being back with the family, my boys, my mom, the babies, and having a bunch of friends and social obligations, well it gets me through. It does more than gets me through – it’s really great being back – and soon I’ll be walking outside with my Florida clothes on and I’ll be happy all over.  Then I’ll start dreaming about how I can have TWO homes.  I’ll put those snowbird dreams on my next vision board!

xoxoxox

Coming soon:  an internet tour of my new Mt. Washington digs.  Look for it mid June ish…once I get all my new furniture…again.  😊

I bought this book, Breaking the Habit of Being You. But today I’m having second thoughts on why I might want to break the habit of being me. Like for instance (of course there is a for instance, it’s a blog right?) anyway for instance I am feeling so overwhelmed.  Feeling guilty about not keeping up with emails (and blogs) – Mom asks me everyday “did you write a blog today?” – NO MOM!  JEEZ.  Of course I don’t say that to her because I’m not 13.  I just say “no mom, I didn’t get around to it.” Someone else wondered why it was going on 4 days and no response to her email.  I said I needed more time.  Time.  Here’s why I don’t have time now – I’m not working.  That’s writing.  I am not.working.

Nope. I’m not getting into it if you don’t know the story. It’s been a very good thing overall. I am no longer grinding my teeth, I am sleeping fantastically (when I’m not up working on something), I am exercising regularly and I have taken on way too many projects now that I have time…which means I don’t have time.  Looking for work is also a full-time stressful job.  So writing has taken a back seat.  After being on the computer for hours looking and then applying to jobs the last thing I want to do is write.  And my creativity is shot.  Even with all the beach walking (which usually inspires me)

I read a book last week on being inspired, Big Magic (by Elizabeth Gilbert).  I was really inspired when reading it but then didn’t have time to write because I had to read it.

And then there’s Christmas – Out of all the decorations I used to have, I only have those two bins and well, I had to decorate with what I have.  I still, to this day, get slightly sad over what I lost in the Storage Wars but a couple of trips to the Dollar Store and Target and well it’s looking kinda cute.  I also think it’s not all the Storage Wars fault – I think I left some stuff at my moms which I have now lost to the Estate Sale wars. (not a war at all but had to make it connect somehow)

Here…what do you think?

I came really close to buying a tree for myself.  But stopped short.  Maybe not the year for that.  But if you’re looking, Walmart has some very cheap suitable trees for someone like me.  I think next year I’ll do it.  It takes a while to get resettled (for any of you wanting to completely up-heave your life, keep the long recovery period in mind!)

So anyway, with all this going on I have not had time to write. Until right this minute.  And this is why I like myself…For the past few days I have been feeling so overwhelmed with these projects I’ve taken on – Christmas projects –  because I’ve been told not to buy anything I’ve decided maybe I’ll make stuff.  Well honest to god, it’s so much easier to buy stuff.  I thought maybe I’d knit blankets for the kids since they don’t have to be big blankets.  I haven’t knitted in years.  I also don’t have any of my knitting stuff (storage wars) and I used to have so much.  At Walmart the yarn is like $2.97 – pretty cheap right?  But you add the needles – and then you have to go back and get more yarn because who knew you can’t make a blanket with one ball. And why don’t they have the yarn in balls to begin with?  Why do we have to put the yarn into a ball when we get it?  I’ll tell you why.  Because if you don’t and think “I don’t have to put this yarn in a ball – stupid people” well you’ll see.  Because then you’re up until 3 in the morning…that’s right THREE in the morning trying to get knots out of your yarn. And after 3 in the morning you don’t have time to clean up the mess you have left with all the different directions you have printed off  and from the computer that’s on the floor from you watching You tube videos to try to remember how to cast-on, or YO (yarn over) and who knew there is a different way to yarn over if it’s a knit or purl?  You know?  Whose big idea was this?  So I am just straight knitting a blanket that is going to be so misshapen because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I will surely never get it completed and I can’t ever give it to one of those kids because I will never ever make enough for all of them.

And then the book I bought (not being me) came yesterday and I thought…I have to read this NOW.

I actually tossed and turned last night wondering how to plan my day. I have yarn everywhere – papers everywhere – that book – other writing that I have to read and critique (from writing groups) and where do I start?  So this morning I made a cup of tea.  Came to the porch and decided to roll a ball of yarn while I decide what to do with my day.  Certain I should take that book over to the beach (it’s a beautiful sunny 85 degree day) – 5 rolls of yarn later I decided to read those writing submissions that I need to critique.  So I did that.  Then I decided I should make the edits they suggested to my book from two weeks ago (they suggested two weeks ago and I had yet to complete) – in the meantime I have filled a basket now with balls of yarn and other knitting paraphernalia and got my couch cleaned off. And well now it’s dark (ish) and the idea of a beach day is long gone – but how much I got done!  The knitting crap is all organized (whether I ever touch it again or not) my couch is cleaned off – I have completed my critiques, I’ve made my edits – I submitted my writing for December 19 (I’m so ahead of myself) AND I actually submitted my book to an agent.  That’ll be 42 agents now.  Between the job rejects and my book rejects I am an expert at rejection.  And that’s not an easy thing to be.

So even without a to-do list I got everything that “should” be done, done today and I’m actually blogging about it. I don’t need to change a thing.

Peace out …

xoxoxo

I’m feeling a little like it’s my duty to write a blog today.  I’ve already read at least two others who have taken the time to write one on this holiday. I just need to stop being so lazy. But that’s exactly what this particular Thanksgiving is about for me.

My plan for the day was to hang at the beach and read my book.  But, yesterday I also went over to the beach, with my book, with two long sleeve shirts on because it was windy and cold and I finished that book I was reading (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert) which is sort of a good thing because today it is colder with no sun.  Not really a beach sitting day.

So far I’m still in my p.j.’s, I haven’t made my bed, I watched the parade.  I’ve sent some Happy Thanksgiving texts, called my mom, on my 4^th or 5^th cup of tea, walked outside to really gauge the temperature (it’s decidedly warmer outside), thought about putting lights on my Aloe plant which is doing really well here at this particular home. A day full of nothing.  So far.  I have grandiose ideas of putting on sweats and heading over to the beach for a walk anyway and am considering dragging some Christmas decorations out of the closet …and then for dinner the plan is for Ahi tuna with Brussel sprouts and butternut squash.  A feast for sure!

Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on your point of view) what probably will end up happening is I will do a search for the movie Gladiator and never get out of my p.j.s .  A perfect Thanksgiving!

Or maybe I’ll drive to Miami.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

xoxoxo