An Uncle Wiggly adventure

When I find myself with some time on my hands, which is often these days, I scroll. It’s awful. I have a bit of a morning routine which lasts maybe an hour and then I think “let’s just see if I have any messages on social media” which I never do, especially first thing in the morning.  But it doesn’t matter.  I look anyway, and then it’s 3 p.m. and my brain is like mush.  And the one thing I haven’t done is write, anything. Not in a journal, not in a blog, not a book.  So before I turn to mush one more day I thought I’d try and write. I do have an adventure to share.

I sold my car.  Some of my peeps think it’s a sad/desperate thing but it is not.  Although there is certainly a financial consideration at play I am having a most fun adventure.  I mean I live in the city.  Many of us city folks do not have cars.  And what some of us senior citizens have is a FREE bus pass.  My first day without a car I was staying at Zach’s new house dog sitting.  His new house happens to be one block from the “T” – You may be wondering what the “T” stands for.  I had to Google it.  This is what it says:

The “T” stands for … well, nothing. Back in 1985 when the system debuted, Port Authority ran a public naming contest because “trolley” and “streetcar” were deemed too old-fashioned. A number of suggestions came in, including PASS (Pittsburgh Area Subway System), but “T” was chosen.

Pretty funny. Leave it to Pittsburghers. Anyway, the “T” runs on train tracks that I am assuming were old streetcar tracks that serve the South Hills of Pittsburgh.  Having grown up in the northern area of Pittsburgh the “T” is very foreign to me and it’s a GREAT adventure.  So anyway, the first carless day after staying at Zach’s (he picked me up at Carvana after the sale) Zachary walked me to the “T” stop.  I said I felt like I was at one of those stagecoach stops in the middle of nowhere that you see in old movies. Not quite as bad as this photo but still a tiny stop. The train came and as fate would have it once aboard my bus pass didn’t work.  BUT those drivers know there are glitches and I was able to get home anyway. (I got it fixed the next day) – Anyhow I was like a little kid on that T.  Seeing all these back areas of the South Hills, you know those trains don’t go on the roads like busses.  I mean what a new adventure for me! Since then I have the PRT (Pittsburgh Regional Transit) Schedules everywhere.  On my phone, in paper, in texts.  I take the bus to Sewickley (mom) on Tuesday.  I catch it right across the street from my apartment building.   Getting home (back to the city) is tricky so I’ve been staying overnight at Diane’s and taking a morning bus back in. Mom loves to keep me there when I say it’s time to go.  They say your parents become like kids and what a pain-in-the-ass kid she can be. Some things just come into focus with your parents at this stage of life. And it’s only one day (and night) of my week. And Diane doesn’t seem to mind.  We go way back as roommates.  Right Di? Anyway, a whole new and fun adventure. I had groceries delivered one day this week and that worked out great – it’s a little pricier than going yourself – but hey I was in my pajamas when they were delivered.  My shopper was an early riser! Last weekend I bussed to a friend’s house and we went shopping together.  She offered to drive me home so I loaded up her car. I took advantage of the ride!  I go to a Spa across the street from my apartment, not often but anyway, the owner of the Spa who also lives in the city, doesn’t have a car either – for 15 years – she was telling me all about how to use a Zip car.  I mean how cool am I? At least I feel pretty cool. I have embraced city living even more.  Now when this apartment lease runs out next summer we’ll see what we see, but for now it was probably the step I needed to bring a little spark back into my life.  Would a new Mercedes GLC 300 have that same spark?  I’d say so, but maybe wait a month or so until this carless adventure has run its course.

You know how older people say, I still feel like an 18-year-old inside?  They are full of shit.  As I make these decisions – like selling my car, for now – my biggest concern is being afraid to drive again.  I have been proud of myself for zipping in and out of these city roads, merging and the like, I mean Pittsburgh driving is the WORST, and I’ve been doing it like a pro while other friends are slowly backing away from driving in various forms.  But I am always worried when I’m driving. Part of it has to do with the car – that it didn’t have the “go” like other cars and pulling into traffic you need that – but the other part is I’m tired of driving. I’m tired of the stress and I’m slightly afraid of not getting that confidence back if I get too far away from it.  And that’s because I’m NOT an 18-year-old.  I’m 65, and I feel every bit of my age. I can tell certain things make me nervous that I never even considered before, mainly driving, or getting lost. Honestly I don’t remember how I felt when I was 18 so it’s really hard to say what age I feel like but I just know I don’t feel young.  And I certainly don’t LOOK young but that’s in the category now of “whatever” – I was a young and pretty thing once.  We all were.  But time marches on and some of us look different and don’t drive and are very happy to sit in a chair and scroll through social media and read stupid sayings or look at dog or cat videos that make us laugh.  How pathetic is that. Just a couple weeks ago I was thinking I need a robust life. You know, like on the show Yellowstone. I need to wrangle some horses, muck some stalls, round up some cattle.  Go for horse rides.  Maybe work in the garden all day.  I need RIP (a Yellowstone (the show) reference) – I mean I really need a RIP. 

This is RIP

I need him to saddle the horse before I get on it.  I guess I need a modified robust life.  Someone to do all the hard work but I still get to ride a horse.  Anyway, I go between feeling old and feeling like I need to get out of this city and live a vigorous life. I could drive a truck through the prairie lands – as long as there’s no merging involved.

Perhaps this is a blog about “what would you do with your lottery winnings?”  It could happen.  I am learning to manifest. Why just the other day I needed a nail file/emory board when I ripped a nail at work and sure enough didn’t have one in my purse.  And then, I was cleaning out some files and pulled an empty box off a shelf and what was in it?  A pen AND a nail file.  Just like that, a manifesting master I became.  So perhaps I can manifest a ranch life with RIP, horses, cattle, mountains and fresh air all day long. Is that what I want? Hard to say.

Today, I’ll paint a couple jars.  Tomorrow I’ll take the bus to Janice and we’ll go to lunch.  I mean that’s as robust as I’m going to get this weekend.  But can that ranch life be far behind?

xoxoxo

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18

Halloween is over

I know, it’s a Thursday and it’s not Halloween.  But last week I didn’t post and tomorrow I thought I’d hang with my mother and today I’m feeling quite useless in the grand scheme of things so I thought perhaps I would blog. I actually did write a blog earlier this week but ended up not posting and here’s the thing about this, if I don’t post when I write it, well, then I think it’s stupid and I don’t like it and then I don’t post it. So I have to publish right away or I will overthink it. However, since I had these Halloween photos ready to share I thought at least I’d do that. And just a quick recap – my neighbor (who is actually no longer my neighbor and hasn’t been my neighbor since I moved from Mt. Washington) has these elaborate Halloween parties. This year she had this gigantic witch in her foyer (see featured photo) and our entertainment was a group of 4 ukulele players. These four musicians entertained us and then they brought ukuleles for everyone and taught us a song. It was so fun. Our host (my neighbor) makes about 8 courses of food, everyone gives each other a gift (guess what I gave everyone..) and we end up staying for hours and hours and lugging bags of food and gifts home. I mean it, and she, is/are something. I struck gold when I befriended that neighbor (all my friends are gold but just happy to have found this one too)

Here’s something I’m doing.  I started making a PowerPoint presentation from a book.  I mean, what is wrong with me? I sat here this morning designing a graph. Does this mean I miss work?  What does it mean?  I bet it means I am a frustrated jar maker who has put all her jars in boxes and in the closet and has sworn off craft shows. Will they end up at Goodwill? I’ll wait a year before I decide that.  My part time job asked me to create an Excel file and I am having fun with that.  This office, where I am working, was founded in the 50’s and the office processes are pretty much still there, in the 50’s.  Maybe the processes are more like the 70’s because at least there are computers but honestly…The guy (a boss) came out of his office yesterday and said he was going to dictate a letter to me.  I gave him this look and said “you’re really testing me…” I mean, come on. Just type the dam thing out. Right?  That’s what I ended up telling him in the end. Since I have forgotten all my shorthand (although I would love to learn it again) I said next time I’ll just type out as he talks as I can type much faster than handwrite. I thought at one point I should be a court stenographer because I type so fast…maybe I could still do that.  Hmmmm. Wouldn’t that be interesting?  Except I’d probably make too many noises with my reactions like saying “yea, right…you’re a liar” out loud. Then I’d have to keep typing “strike that.”

In other news, well I don’t have other news, which is a problem for a blogger. But here are today’s thoughts:

  • Do I give up on having Thanksgiving decorations and just surrender to the early Christmas décor?
  • Will I get my Christmas tree up in the window by the official lightup night (Nov. 18)
    • If Christmas day festivities are moving to my son’s new house, do I even bother with Christmas décor? (other than the one in my window)
  • Should I give up on moving OUT of the city and embrace city living even more by selling my car and becoming a real city person and using my free senior citizen bus pass to travel.  The only place I couldn’t travel to would be the North Hills (sorry Jean – you’d have to meet me at a Park and Ride!)
    • Thankful for Aldi’s Instacart if I go this route
  • Or do I want to buy (living in my head) a 5-bedroom house and join this Facebook group called Host a Sister and then open my house up to weary sister travelers.  Then I could cook for these “sisters” and use all my dishes instead of boxing them up and donating them to Goodwill?
  • Do I get off this chair and do yoga for 20 minutes?
  • Should I shower today or tomorrow?
  • Do I need to clean before my Medicare home health visit later today?
    • This may be the answer as well to shower today or tomorrow.
  • Do I have anything to eat?
    • How bad is it really to live on brownies?
  • If I sat here long enough and looked at my computer would a new book idea pop into my head?
    • Conversely could I continue with one of my many other book ideas I’ve already started.

The answer is to start with 20 minutes of yoga and then shower and then decide on the cleaning up idea.  Do I really care what a home health nurse would say to my throw blankets that are not folded properly and put aside? 

And I will continue on the Paint By Number. I think I can maybe even get it done by this weekend.  If I get off this chair and away from the computer…

xoxoxo

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202

It’s still Friday

Have you ever had one of those days where you cry, a lot, for no reason?  Asking for a friend.  I don’t know what her problem is because her day seemed to be okay.  For instance, she got up on time to get her car to the shop for her appointment to get the car inspection.  She held her breath all morning petrified of the results of the inspection, but as luck would have it there were no immediate threats.  There are threats that should be taken care of within the next year, which she can live with, so that’s not a reason to cry.

Then, this past Tuesday, she was invited to participate in a craft show (uncanny so similar to me) which at first she turned down due to a previous engagement, then emailed back in the middle of the night to say “wait, I can do it”..and even though they had already moved on to the next person, the next person also cancelled so she was able to get into the craft show.  But with the car being inspected at the shop she had no idea if she could get to the craft show site to set up prior to the start of the craft show start tomorrow morning.  And then, because God smiles on the downtrodden, at times, the car was ready at a time that she was able to pick up the car, swing by her apartment, pack up the boxes and drive the hour to the craft show site.  She was very unprepared because she had no tablecloth big enough but they were able to provide one. She was embarrassed at her unpreparedness but stopped by Walmart on her way home and bought 6 tablecloths (disposables) – 3 to reimburse the event place and 3 to keep for herself.  And get this, the organization sponsoring this event works with the blind!  How kismittey because she has a blind mother.  So immediately loves the organization. 

Her day went pretty splendidly having her car inspected without incident, making it to the craft center, surprised they’re an organization that works with the blind, got all set up, drove home in the pouring down rain, which was stressful, like VERY stressful but when she came home the sun came out and the sky turned blue.

So why cry?  What’s her problem?

I guess we all have days like that.  It’s cloudy, rainy, grey, and sometimes you just need a day to let it all out.  At least that’s what I told her.

Happy Friday

xoxoxo

PS – Not a lot of progress on the painting. It was a busy week.

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131

Just because

I met a woman yesterday who is an artist. I asked her many questions since I am fascinated with the artist lifestyle and mindset.  She told me she is in the watercolor society, but also does oil abstract, then she went on and said she also does pottery. My eyes were growing bigger and bigger with envy.  I asked if she sells anything and then we had a discussion about being an artist and having the marketing, promotion, selling, mindset.  They are very different.  She also said she was a retired school teacher, I assumed art teacher, but she informed me she was a music teacher.  Another art form.  She then said art is like a calling, a pulling, and you can’t help yourself, you just have to do the art. She asked me if I have any experience with art.  And I was able to share about my musical family (grandparents, mother, sister, brother) and shared my sudden urge to do a craft, that I feel like is an addiction, and only came to me after retiring.  She offered that the creativity was pushed down all those years and was just now able to burst forth!  And then I added, quite as an afterthought, that I self-published a book.  And she’s like AHA!  “You’re a writer! You just write because you have to.”  And that does pretty much explain the blogging.  I just write because I have to.  Or is it because of JaNel and Patrick?  I’m not sure, but one thing became also very clear.  The more I go into that office (I met her at work in the office yesterday) the less I am inclined to paint a jar.  I’m just tired after working.  I come home, make something to eat, sit on the couch and wait for bedtime.  I only realized this last night when I walked right past my jars without the urge to paint before going to bed.  And that made me sad.

I have loved becoming an artist (or crafty) just for the sake of art. I look at those jars and just love them.  They’re so pretty.  And that just fills my heart.  It’s a weird and fulfilling experience. Working in an office, for me, is not a fulfilling experience; although I have not minded going into the office these past weeks.  And I got to meet that nice artsy lady yesterday who reminded me of what I’m missing by sitting in the office. I worked an extra day this week and although I was perfectly happy to pick up an extra day I think it is just one day too much.  I did not stick to my two-day boundary. I got carried away.  I have also been doing some fun new work tasks though.  Yesterday I filed a motion at the City County building.  That means I walked over there and dropped off paperwork and they stamped it.  LOL. I mean I was so excited because it was something new that I’ve never done before.  So I am torn.  I am having fun learning all these lawyer things.  I joked with my boss that I’m starting to feel like a paralegal.  But I miss my jars too.

I guess all life is a balance and I’m figuring out mine.

xoxoxo

PS – my cover photo is how far I’ve gotten on my Paint By Number.  It’s coming along!

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73

Artsy Fartsy

This week I’ve been trying to transform to a morning person. I think a new sleep pattern will help me sleep in the night when we are supposed to sleep. I tend to stay up late and sleep late, if I sleep at all.  Many, many nights I lay in bed until it starts getting light out, like 5:30 am ish, then I sleep until 11 am.  Except now I have a job at least two days a week. Good thing I don’t start until 11:30 am.  Last weekend I had maybe 4 hours of sleep before the Saturday Craft Fair.  Since the fair was a “bust” and I sat at my table for 8 hours with nary a customer, I had a really really hard time staying awake.  Saturday night, after the craft fair,  I was in bed at 8:30 pm.  Slept straight through until 6:00 am.  So I came up with the idea to get up early everyday and maybe I’ll sleep through the night.

And now, I’m wondering why does anyone care?  Well, only because I am making myself blog once a week and this is my latest news.  So what I’m trying is to get up every day at 7:30 am regardless of what time I go to sleep and eventually I’ll start going to bed at 9 pm and getting up early.  Last night I went to bed at 2 am – got up today at 10:30 am.  I have a problem sticking to my goals.

Let’s see, Zachary, my beloved oldest child, loves to think of crafty things for me to do.  He is very encouraging in that realm.  Last year I painted a Paint By Number for him of Van Gogh Irises.  I gave it to him almost as a joke cause I thought it was so bad.  He loved it.  LOVED it.  He’s always trying to come up with things like that for me to do.  So this week he gave me a Paint By Number that he ordered for me to paint for him.  When I looked at it I knew, without a doubt, that he hates me.  I mean look at this:

He told me he created the picture using one of these AI programs so it’s an “original” piece of art and he says my painting it will be original art.  It will keep me busy and away from the jars since the jars do not seem to be selling.

I will try to sell my jars at two more events this fall.  One in November and one in December. I do kinda/sorta enjoy the idea of going to Craft fairs, even though it’s a lot of work packing and unpacking. I don’t even mind that I don’t sell them sometimes, BUT I do need to sell them sometimes too.  I understand from all the vendors I’ve talked to that these craft fairs can be extremely hit or miss.  I’m okay with that, as long as there is a hit in there at times.  Zachary thinks I should diversify.  I don’t disagree but I have limited space in my apartment so whatever it is has to be able to be made on a 2×2 piece of counter space in my kitchen. So no furniture painting. I know that’s what Zachary thinks I’d be good at, only because he’s seen me do that in the past. But again, apartment living is not conducive to furniture painting.  However I did paint this table when I lived in a much smaller apartment in Florida. 

In my hometown we have two schools.  The public school and the private school. I was always envious of the creative arts fields that so many of the private school girls went into. There were interior designers, horticulturists, painters, artsy girls. I envied their artsy paths. An artsy path is a very iffy financial path.  Very inconsistent or not at all. So I understand why people with more financial stability would be able to take those risks.  Just doesn’t seem like that should be a thing to stop us.  Do I sound like a socialist?  I think in Denmark or one of those countries, don’t they all make the same amount of money so you can choose to be a Doctor or a jar maker?  Whatever you do, you do for love, not for money.  I do like that idea.  Why do people give equality such bad press?  Does everyone want to compete with their neighbor? I believe my thoughts are now going into polarizing territory so I will stop this ramble for today.  Just know that I see myself as an eccentric artist now, in a studio with paint all around.  What I’m painting I’m not sure yet. But in this vision I don’t seem to be sitting at the typewriter writing my next book.  And maybe that is what my vision should be since sitting and writing is more conducive to apartment living. Ugh so many choices.  Which way do I go?

Today, I’m going to paint by number.  It will either strengthen my eyesight or make me go blind.  Hoping for the best.

xoxox

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72

Marriage hopes

Before I type anything else, let it be known, that I would like to marry Anthony Hopkins.  I am aware that he is already married, but in the event he becomes unmarried I’d like a shot.  Even at his advanced age, because let’s face it, I am also of an advanced age. Although he is 20 years older than me.  There are others in the Hollywood realm that I would consider but Anthony Hopkins is pretty consistently at the top.

In other news:

My back is feeling almost back to normal. I am taking my yoga responsibility seriously but my practice still could use improvement with consistency. What else…Jean and I had a lovely lunch at Gaucho and a matinee showing of Moulin Rouge at the Benedum.  It was a lovely lovely afternoon.  But since coming home I have done nothing but sit on this couch.  There is soo much I should be doing but I can’t bring myself to get off the couch.

Now tomorrow, which is Friday, I will have a busy day. First, I’ll be checking out the possibility of a new apartment.  Just kinda feeling it out.  There’s no question that it’s time to get out of the city but not sure this is the right time to move. After apartment perusing in the morning, I have to pack up the car and head up north to set up at Gardner’s Greenhouse for Saturday’s Annual Craft and Amish Donut Sale show.  I haven’t been hugely successful at this jar selling stuff, yet, so we will see how this one goes.  I’m hopeful, but in the meantime I’m also not decorating any new jars until we see how it goes. I do hate to think about giving up my jar decorating obsession but until I find a way to get them out of my house I’m going to have to slow down. I have a jigsaw puzzle I can do in the meantime if I have to put the jar habit away.

Ordinarily I would not post this, because its stupid.  But in keeping with my goal of writing weekly it’s all I got.  One last thing, I don’t like the looks of Nicole Kidman’s face. I don’t know what she’s done to herself but I don’t like it. 

And now you know what I’ve done all night (watched TV). It’s hard being retired.

xoxoxo

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9

Plant Milkweed and other thoughts

It’s Friday. Time for my report. Here’s what’s been happening this week:

My back is so much better.  The pain has localized into like a side “stitch” kinda thing. I mean, Advil is still my friend, but compared to last week I can’t believe how much better I feel. I read something I thought interesting enough to share…so, on an emotional level it says when we are faced with an emotion, like anger, frustration, guilt, anything really, we are supposed to express it.  Not suppress it. The author suggests doing something physical to release the anger or whatever it is, i.e. punch a pillow, throw something (but not at someone) go for a walk, a run, do pushups, something to release it.  When we don’t do that, express it,  the emotion goes into our subconscious because we have to get rid of it somehow, and then the subconscious releases it back into the body.  Now….isn’t that interesting?  I mean, isn’t it? That does not negate the fact that I was throwing around a suitcase for 5 days that was most probably too heavy, and that drugs and chiropractors and yoga are not helpful, but I just thought that was fascinating enough to share.

Okay what else?  Lantern Flies. I mean What are these things? First it was stink bugs that seemed to be randomly deciding where they would invade.  Some houses FULL of them and the next-door neighbor would have nothing. I haven’t seen a stink bug in years. Now Lantern Flies are invading the city as if God has sent a plague.  Or is it the Chinese? I thought I was safe up here on the 10th floor keeping my window cracked open but noooo, they are now getting up this high and yesterday I had to shoo one out. Luckily I caught him as he flew in.  Then I shut the window.  I mean how sad is it not to have that nice fall air coming in your window? As I googled, I found out they are known to “swarm” at night so no cracked window for me. And then with the window shut I look up and see one crawling up the wall.  The M.F’er. So I hit him with a broom, grabbed with a Kleenex and into the garbage.  THEN I was reading more about the effers and was reading how they are hard to kill and even if you think you got them they spring back to life and wouldn’t you know I went to the garbage can and that little sucker was all back to normal, alive, so I flushed him.  I check the toilet every time before sitting.  You know just incase they climb back up.

The city is inundated with them.  Look at this:

Every time I walk outside I get at least one flown at me, into my face, into my chest or arms, and those are the ones I catch enough to shake off.  The other ones seem to love flying into the back of my neck and hair. I mean every.single.time I walk outside.  And you know I walk to work so I’m fighting them always. They seem 100 times worse than the stink bugs were.  They’re much bigger and they’re harder to kill because they jump.  Here is one little tip for you homeowners that I picked up: Plant Milkweed.  They are attracted to the scent which is poisonous to them, although some articles say this is not scientifically proven.  I hope the city takes note and plants milkweed all over the city.  The little critters seem impossible to keep up with and apparently they can be frozen and then come back to life.  So even a hard freeze won’t help. If you don’t have them yet, you will.  I would start planting that milkweed now if I were you.  And here’s another fun fact: the first one in the US was in Berks County, Pennsylvania.  I don’t how they know that kind of thing but that’s what I read. 

Ok and my last thought I had just today: are we, or are we not, a society of instant gratification?  Like on Instagram, we scroll through photos or “clips” – I think Snapchat is even quicker?  I don’t know as I don’t have Snapchat but my point is we are a society of quick hits and then we keep scrolling.  But when I go to read a news article it seems like forever long. Like even longer than my meaningless blog posts.  I keep thinking the article is over and it keeps going on and on and on. And as a writer I think “you could have cut out half of this and it still would have been effective” but no, on and on and on. I can’t really balance/make sense of these two extremes in my head. I like to be informed but sometimes I just want it to be over.

Like this blog is.  Over.

xoxoxo

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81

I’m not old

I was very teary leading up to the return flight back home here to Pittsburgh.  I did not want to leave SF. The whole trip couldn’t have been nicer.  I’m looking for houses in Yountville 😉 One here in Pittsburgh and one there.  Plenty of people do that, why can’t I? If only I was a successful author.

I did not have a favorite part of this trip as it was all so wonderful, but I will say going to Yountville, again, was kinda special. The last time I was there was 2 weeks before the 9/11 event (in 2001) with a group from Federated Investors. I was there as their meeting planner with a lovely night at the Ritz in San Francisco and then bussed to the Napa area, Yountville specifically, and when Jimmy was driving us through that area (and we had lunch there) it brought back all those wonderful memories. There is something about Yountville that speaks to me (and probably millions of others). Florida was like that too at one point. Well, anyway, I loved it all. All of it.

Turns out there is one thing (and only one) that could have been better.  Like someone to wrangle the suitcase. Because of the room I was staying in I had to lift the thing onto the bed each day, then open and get our stuff out, put the stuff back in, zip it and back on the floor. Because the dog also shared our room it was a lot of lugging that thing to keep the dog out.  One night I looked down to see the cat sleeping in it, but she (the cat) was sleeping on John’s side of the suitcase so I just went back to sleep.  But I’m strong right? I lug things all the time. Except…

We came home Tuesday night, more lugging of suitcase at the airport.  Those luggage turnstile thingies are not user friendly. But I did it, I lugged it off the carousel and wheeled to the car, lugged it into John’s house, unpacked his stuff, lugged it back to my car, lugged it back up to my apartment, lugged it onto the bed, unpacked my stuff, and put it away. That is just an example of one days worth of lugging. Kinda did that everyday out there. Anyway, next day, Wednesday I got up like any other day and started getting ready for my day (i.e. work) when I started having back contractions.  Had I been pregnant it would have been a clear sign for me to go to the hospital to deliver. It’s kinda funny (but not) when something new like this happens.  In my mind I’m like “what the fu** is this?” I’ve had cramps before and you know overworked muscles but this, this is like nothing I’ve experienced.  I called 911.  I was sure it was my kidneys.  It did not feel remotely like a muscle or pulled back. Ambulance guys were funny because I was standing when they got here.  They’re like “we’re here for YOU?” LOL.  I said yes, and I’m standing but that’s because I can’t sit or move and I don’t know what’s happening. Again, sure I’m in kidney failure. I started to get dizzy, my BP dropped to 90/50 I’m passing out and so they took me to the ER. I can not tell you how bad those spasms were.  And they literally came and went like a contraction. 

I was in the ER all day, from 9 to 4. They checked pee and gave me a ton of pain meds and since the pain meds didn’t seem to work they did a CT scan but in the end they didn’t find anything to keep me. The pain meds helped me sleep and by the time Zach came for me I was able to walk.  So, moral of the story, what everyone attributes this after-shock to is the suitcase lugging.

Ya know, about a month ago, I stopped doing yoga which I had been doing faithfully, daily, for over a year and then I just stopped.  I wonder why.  But I will tell you now that I will take that sh*t seriously and not stop again.  I am already doing a little cat/cow and a child’s pose helps.  I’m supposed to take it slow so no downdog I think. It’s been a couple days now, cause it’s Friday and I’m already doing better. I am planning on going to my craft fair tomorrow.  I reached out to them and they said the table is all set up and they can help me with boxes.  However, I popped a pill today and loaded the boxes in the car by myself so I think I’m going to be okay. The boxes are light.  Just probably don’t want to pop a pill before driving there. I was thinking of asking my 10 year old niece for her assistance but I don’t want anyone else in the car incase I kill myself.  I don’t need to take anyone else out with me.

So there you have it.  A not so great ending to a perfect vacation. I promised my body (we had words) that I will get back to yoga.  When talking to the doctor, still sure it was kidneys, she said “not kidneys” and I just need to strengthen my core. I wanted to reach through the phone and punch her in the face. What a stupid thing to say. Plenty of people have weak cores and don’t end up in the ER for Christmas sake. But she sent me some exercises and I’ve started them. I mean ok.  I’m old. I guess I can’t lug the suitcase like I once could.  Honestly I don’t think I ever could lug it like I was doing on this trip. I just thought I was getting away with it and so just do it. The only thing I was expecting was maybe a sore back or a couple days of my body sleeping but to out and out knock me down was uncalled for. (this is the conversation I had with my body) – So we’re coming to an agreement (me and myself).  I’ll exercise and it’ll back off (get it?) and we will work together going forward.  Next California trip is scheduled for January and that’s winter clothes.  They’re even heavier. Perhaps a personal trainer is in my future.

xoxoxo

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I left my heart..

I am writing this on Wednesday but will do something fancy so it doesn’t post until Friday, striving to stay on schedule. By the time this is posted it will be day 2 of my SF (that’s San Francisco) visit with my son Jimmy and his fiancé Emily.  I’m going with Jimmy’s dad, John. Jimmy’s dad recently had a stroke, after we booked this trip, and to say I’m a nervous wreck about traveling with him in this condition is an understatement.  BUT he is wanting to go and so he’s going.  Jimmy assures me that he will do all the caretaking once there and I can lay in the hammock in their yard.  And that is exactly where I expect to be on Friday, at least before we go to dinner. Also, he really doesn’t need a lot of care as he is doing well with his rehab.  I’m just a born worrier.

John (the dad) is really putting the effort in his rehab/recovery so I’m confident everything will be fine.  It will be different traveling with all the accoutrements (walker, cane, etc.) but my friend Diane does it with BOTH her parents when they travel to Florida so if she can do it, I can do it. My hope is the airlines takes pity on us and put us in first class (there’s still 2 seats available) otherwise we are way back in row 31. But again, these plans were made before the “event” and neither of us want to pay the $1000 each to upgrade.  He’ll just walk slowly to get to his seat.

So that’s what’s on my agenda. When I get back next week I have a craft show the following weekend so I’ve been getting ready for it now so I don’t have any last minute worries.  Also those jars have to dry for at least a week so I can’t do any last-minute jars anyway.  So it’s all good there. I think my part time job is not crazy about my absence but I pretty much don’t care. I’m retired! (although who we kidding, I feel guilt)

Alright that’s it.  Short and sweet.  We have to be at the airport at the crack of dawn.  With any luck the plane will take off on time.  That’s the main concern now.  Will it even take off? Travel sure ain’t what it used to be. Why, in my day….

xoxoxo

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