Just because

I met a woman yesterday who is an artist. I asked her many questions since I am fascinated with the artist lifestyle and mindset.  She told me she is in the watercolor society, but also does oil abstract, then she went on and said she also does pottery. My eyes were growing bigger and bigger with envy.  I asked if she sells anything and then we had a discussion about being an artist and having the marketing, promotion, selling, mindset.  They are very different.  She also said she was a retired school teacher, I assumed art teacher, but she informed me she was a music teacher.  Another art form.  She then said art is like a calling, a pulling, and you can’t help yourself, you just have to do the art. She asked me if I have any experience with art.  And I was able to share about my musical family (grandparents, mother, sister, brother) and shared my sudden urge to do a craft, that I feel like is an addiction, and only came to me after retiring.  She offered that the creativity was pushed down all those years and was just now able to burst forth!  And then I added, quite as an afterthought, that I self-published a book.  And she’s like AHA!  “You’re a writer! You just write because you have to.”  And that does pretty much explain the blogging.  I just write because I have to.  Or is it because of JaNel and Patrick?  I’m not sure, but one thing became also very clear.  The more I go into that office (I met her at work in the office yesterday) the less I am inclined to paint a jar.  I’m just tired after working.  I come home, make something to eat, sit on the couch and wait for bedtime.  I only realized this last night when I walked right past my jars without the urge to paint before going to bed.  And that made me sad.

I have loved becoming an artist (or crafty) just for the sake of art. I look at those jars and just love them.  They’re so pretty.  And that just fills my heart.  It’s a weird and fulfilling experience. Working in an office, for me, is not a fulfilling experience; although I have not minded going into the office these past weeks.  And I got to meet that nice artsy lady yesterday who reminded me of what I’m missing by sitting in the office. I worked an extra day this week and although I was perfectly happy to pick up an extra day I think it is just one day too much.  I did not stick to my two-day boundary. I got carried away.  I have also been doing some fun new work tasks though.  Yesterday I filed a motion at the City County building.  That means I walked over there and dropped off paperwork and they stamped it.  LOL. I mean I was so excited because it was something new that I’ve never done before.  So I am torn.  I am having fun learning all these lawyer things.  I joked with my boss that I’m starting to feel like a paralegal.  But I miss my jars too.

I guess all life is a balance and I’m figuring out mine.

xoxoxo

PS – my cover photo is how far I’ve gotten on my Paint By Number.  It’s coming along!