lynn monahan

It’s Friday.  You know what that means don’t you?  Well yea, means different things to different people.  At this very moment it means to me that I’m going to write a blog.  Cause it’s Friday.

My mom visited this week, which was a very first since she moved up here from Virginia in 2019.  My sister was getting her house exterminated so mom had to go for the afternoon.  Not an easy feat because she is injured. When mom was in the shower, a week or so back, a big bottle of shampoo slid off the side of the tub and onto her foot.  You would not believe how black and blue and swollen and painful it has become.  Don’t you worry, Kerry took her to the hospital.  It is not broken but nevertheless it is painful for her to walk on.  So getting her in and out of the car and up here was a bit of a challenge but Kerry got her this walker on wheels that has a seat so she sat and I pushed and it went pretty smoothly.  It’s all level from the car to the apartment but with an almost broken foot it makes it hard. That aside, we had a perfectly lovely day on her very first visit.  Really it was nice.  She did complain (good naturedly) about the city noise.  I know she likes fresh air (as do I) so I kept the window open for the air but the traffic and city noise is relentless.  They say you get used to it, and I am getting used to it but that window would be closed a lot more if I had to have conversations with anyone.  It’s loud.  That aside she joked that she wanted to come twice a week.  Good thing I work at home. 

In the big moveout, when we sold mom’s house, I kept all her albums (lp’s, vinyl, whatever they’re called these days) and subsequently bought a record player with the intent to play her the albums when she visited.  And look at that!  Two years later and I got to do it.  So many of the albums I grew up listening to.  When we were kids she played showtunes all the time.  ALL the time.  The soundtrack to The Fantasticks is one of my favorites.  I’ve never seen the play.  I’ve never even seen it advertised.  I don’t even know what it’s about, but I know all the words to all the songs. Mom admitted she never saw it either but we love the music.  Other’s in the day’s line up were Brigadoon, Hello Dolly and I even have Barbara Streisand’s 2^nd album ever (not a show tune). Barbara always brings a tear to her eye.  She feels like she discovered her back in the day and has always loved her voice.  Who doesn’t? Anyway, so many memories listening to those albums. I remember us dancing around the family room as kids. Fun fun memories.

If you remember my blog from last week and the dragonfly meaning transition, I think it might be happening.  The reason I think this is a possibility is that one of these albums brought up a memory that at another time in my life might have been cause for embarrassment.  But I shared this particular memory, with my mom (another first for me as not a story I would typically share with her)and well I laughed and laughed as well as remembering the time fondly. The memory was brought up by an album by Vaughn Williams, which reminded me of a time I went to the Symphony with a date where they played Vaughn Williams and we both had tears in our eyes it was so beautiful.  I don’t remember which piece was played but I remember the name Vaughn Williams and my date, who was 12 years younger than me.  Who was he you ask?  Well, Sally, Liz and I were at Metropol, I believe it was 1990, and this very cute boy just grabbed me to dance and well it was so fun, and he was so stinkin cute.  He was visiting from California and in college.  So you know, that’s not that young, right?  And I mean I was 31 or so.  Maybe 32.  Well anyway, it was so funny when I went running up to Sally and Liz saying “what should I do, what should I do? He wants my phone number”  They were behind me 1000% – DO it, DO it!! (they said) It is such a fun memory, because luckily, he was not an ax murdered or a pervert. I had not thought about this in a long time, but the Vaughn Williams album brought back all those memories. Isn’t that something how a song can do that? Daniel’s, the boy’s, only fault, at the time, was he was not old enough to be in Metropol (so younger than I originally thought) and well I was probably closer in age to his father. I remember he told me that his dad said if he didn’t want to ask me out, his dad would.  I mean that’s kinda funny.  His dad was kidding of course.  Just his way of saying I may have been a little too old for his son. His father was also a Pittsburgh Symphony patron and had season tickets and so we went and saw Vaughn Williams and it was ridiculously romantic. Mom asked me what happened between us and I admitted that it was probably due to my drinking problem at the time, over indulging and making a complete ass of myself at a grown-up event we went to with his father, and the fact that he was in college, in California and a kid. I think the last time I talked to him was to tell him I was pregnant with Jimmy (months after he went back to college..) A relationship was not really in the cards for us.  But honestly I love that memory, and I learned my lesson and quit drinking and I even still remember his whole name!  

I used to be (and probably still mostly am) embarrassed of all the “mistakes” I’ve made.  You know in movies when people are dying and they say “no regrets, I have no regrets” I often ask myself, “how do you get there?”  But my visit with my mom the other day, and sharing that story with her and you, and laughing, and not beating myself up about the drinking, well it’s like I’ve matured and have started to accept myself.  I feel like a grown up. Maybe I’m on my way to that “no regrets” stage.  That will be very freeing if/when I get there. A transition for sure.

Also, just to clear – Daniel was old enough that he was not illegal. I’m just saying that to clear anyone’s doubts. And he is probably 50 now!  And well that means now we’re the same age. 😉

xoxoxo

I have come to the conclusion that the “meeting” is going to be the downfall of Corporate America. When does anyone get anything done? And why do you need so many people in one meeting to make a decision?

Years ago, I was in what in retrospect will probably be the best “job” of my career of jobs. (not to be confused with having a single career, my career has always been to have a job).  Well anyway, although I went through several Deans, at this job in higher education, one Dean said it best. “You know your job better than I do so I’ll leave you to it.” And that was that.  No 1-1’s ever.  If he had a question he’d simply walk into my office and ask.  If I had a question he was rarely the one I’d go to.  He didn’t know operations.  That was my job.  So when I had a question I would call someone else in operations, on the phone, and they would answer their phone, and we would talk and then the issue was solved.  Just like that. No meetings for discussion, just a phone call.  I did arrange for one meeting per month with colleagues to discuss anything that needed discussed, always with food, because why else would anyone come.  Ideas were shared, food was eaten, team building achieved, and back to work.  Sometimes there was no reason to meet again the next month.  I mean seriously, just do your job!  Did I need a weekly check in from my boss. NO. Like why would I need that?  I had a job to do. He trusted me to do my job and I did it.

I don’t know what’s going on in the world today in this area. In my new role I manage people’s calendars. It has to be one of the worst jobs in the world. My main purpose is to arrange meetings that are impossible to arrange. One person under my purview accepts 4 or more meetings at a time. So, is he going to all 4 meetings? And who put all four meetings on there in the first place and overlap them. How is one supposed to interpret that?  Are they just place holders or as an FYI and he’ll dial in/attend if he doesn’t have another meeting? Does that mean I can put another meeting there that maybe he would like to attend instead? And then if you have to skip that day and keep looking because he has no available time and then when you go to when there’s an available time and then they say “I need it sooner” – well then clear your fucking calendar. (sorry I’m channeling Roy from Ted Lasso) – I swear I’m turning into Roy (you really need to watch that show)

A few weeks ago, when tasked with arranging a 10 person meeting, proudly having found a time rather easily, after a few days someone responds and says “please change this meeting, I am out of the office this day.”  First of all, you have to ask yourself, how important is this person?  Is she “required” to be there?  Why is she telling ME that she is out of the office.  Shouldn’t she tell the person who is having the meeting that she is unavailable and let that person tell me to change it?  How am I supposed to know her “clout” and necessity of being in the meeting (I have since asked that they make a “required” and “optional” list. ) Also I responded to her, “please update your calendar with your availability.”  Then she said, “yea, I’m bad at that.”  I’m sorry, WHAT?

Bad at that?  BAD AT THAT?

I would never unfriend someone because of their political views. I may hide them or unfollow but not unfriend.  But not updating your calendar correctly and then expecting all 10-20 people to rearrange a meeting because YOU’RE bad at that?  Unfriend.

Here’s the issue, as I see it.  Nobody just does their job anymore.  Everyone wants a “say” in decision making.  Why?  Is that your job?  No, that’s another person’s job.  Do you trust them to do their job or not?

My suggestion, to combat this issue, which must have started with everyone receiving a participation trophy when they were younger, call the person you need a decision from. If you need another person on that call conference them in. If you need more than that then someone isn’t doing their job right. Or if you must have a mini meeting with two or three decision makers, record the meeting, and if the others really need to have a say they can watch the recording. I mean this is the most ridiculous approach to work that I have ever experienced in my 45 year career.  RIDICULOUS.

1,257 days until retirement. I’ll mark Out of Office..forever on my calendar.

xoxoxox

I’m vacuuming.  Or if you’re from Pittsburgh, “running the sweeper.”  How can I be blogging at the same time as vacuuming?  Funny you should ask.  It’s a Roomba.  There have been few “material” things that have brought me as much happiness as my Roomba, or as I like to call her “Beverly”.   From a young age I’ve been a duster, meaning I don’t like dust accumulation.  It must have been the task assigned to me by my mom. I also like cleaning silver. I did that at home, at Jennifer’s house, and at Edson’s when I was babysitting.  My sister, Kerry, is a really good clothes folder.  I am not. I also remember watching her iron clothes and trying to learn that.  I’m okay at that (I think).  Folding clothes I struggle with.  My other siblings have moved away so I don’t really know what their task was that mom gave them that they’ve carried (or not) into adulthood.  Although my brother can fix anything.  He’s one of those kinds of people that you love and hate at the same time.  You know the pains-in-the-ass cause they think they know everything, and as it turns out they do.  Well, he certainly doesn’t know everything, but he can fix things.

You know what I never learned about?  Makeup, hair, or accessorizing. Nothing about fashion.  Ever. I only remember going shopping with my mom one time.  ONE.  I didn’t go to school naked so clearly she must have shopped for us.  I know she made some of my clothes and I remember getting hand me downs from my friends – I loved that.  I also remember mom taking us to get our haircut in the village (we didn’t call it the village then, but we lived in the country so it really was the village to us at the time.) – and here’s an interesting tidbit.  The woman that cut my hair would eventually become Nunni.  (my youngest son’s grandma – which had I married his dad would have made her my mother-in-law.  Maybe I should have just called her my mother-in-law and been done with it, for the sake of the story, and so I didn’t have to explain it). I also remember coming home from one of those haircuts and hating my mother for cutting my bangs so short.  I also remember the look the hairdresser (Nunni) had after cutting those bangs so short.  She knew I would hate them, but she listened to my mom.  I have a very vivid memory of that day and that haircut and fuming in the back of the station wagon on the way home from “the village”.  Isn’t that something? I wonder if somewhere in my psyche I knew I would be the mother of my hairdresser’s grandson. I wonder if she knew it. She was very wise. Maybe the memory is about knowing Nunni more than that haircut.  I think I was 6 years old. I wonder why I cared about that haircut so much.

I also remember getting a hairbrush stuck in my hair – I believe it was a round brush and I must have been trying to curl my hair.  My grandmother, who was visiting, spent hours getting that brush out of my hair.  Some of the hair was cut but I don’t remember it being traumatic for me.  I remember her being very patient.  It’s one of the best memories I have of my grandmother. I think I was 19. Had I had hair lessons maybe I would have known better. But then I wouldn’t have that memory.

My two “hair” memories.  Well, those two and my mom ALWAYS (and I’m not exaggerating) always criticizing my hair.  “What are you going to do with your hair” she’d say.  All my adult life I think she said it.  I remember when she lost her sight I said “well at least you won’t comment on my hair anymore” – we all laughed.  I think she’d like my hair now.  Well maybe not.  Maybe that was our thing.

My makeup memory is from my wedding. On my wedding day, I had Kim help me do my makeup.  I never (or rarely) wore makeup.  I don’t think I even owned any at that point.  My dad asked me, on my wedding day, in my wedding dress, “what’s that on your face” – honestly.  I still feel like I have to apologize when I wear makeup.  Like I’m breaking some rule. Although at some point I wore mascara because I remember those mascara curlers and mascara combs.  I don’t wear mascara very often anymore. I just end up rubbing it off anyway. However, lately, at this age, foundation is becoming my friend.

I’m listening for Beverly.  Sometimes she gets stuck and I have to run and help her. I have her in the bedroom today  I just checked on her.  She was under the dresser. She also goes under the bed.  If I was doing it myself I would never go under the bed – maybe once a year, or when I move. But now just think of all the dust she gets, all year long. Beverly is my best friend.

I wanted to write today and stretch that part of my brain.  That’s something I did do growing up.  I wrote a lot of letters.  I liked writing letters.  I kept diaries too.  I found a dream journal that I kept when I was maybe 10? It doesn’t shed light on anything.  Doesn’t portend that I will be a writer. My dreams weren’t prophetic.  But hey it’s something to look back on.  When I find these “treasures” I try and reconnect with my younger self. I have to be honest.  It doesn’t happen.  I could be reading a diary I picked up off the street.  Although, that said, I do remember some of those dreams.  And I remember Nunni and that hair cut.

I have too much time on my hands. Remember when you’d HAVE to be in the office and when you were done with work you’d make up stuff to do because you’d have to sit there for the rest of the day?  Well now, working at home, if I don’t have something to do I still sit here.  And I still make up stuff to do, like write this blog, and think about diaries, haircuts, makeups and dusting. I wonder what I could think about that would be useful, now that I have Beverly, and have so much more time on my hands.

Although I’ve entertained myself with today’s writing it doesn’t appear that I’m going to start channeling ancient Egyptian healing methods to share so I might as well wrap this up. I guess I’ll go dust the tops of furniture and keep Beverly company.  Maybe I’ll strike up a conversation with her and see what she has to say.  Typically it’s just a series of beeps. I’ll keep you posted if she ever responds with anything else.

xoxxo

Is there a law that says earrings have to match?  I have two lone earrings who have lost their mates.  Not unlike the lone sock that comes out of the dryer problem.  Do we just discard these lone items?  Is there any reason I can’t wear each lone but different sock or earring at the same time?  Do our socks need to match?  Shouldn’t we save the lone socks to wear with other lone socks?

I don’t think I’m a trendsetter in this area – I have seen it done.  I believe there is a store that sells nothing but mismatched socks.  And I know there are some fashionistas, mostly in the boho category, that wear one or different earrings.  When I’ve tried one earring people usually say “oh you lost an earring” – lol – I guess I just can’t pull that look off.  My “look” has historically been Florida-beach look.  Linen, flowing, summer.  However, when I was actually in Florida it was much more relaxed. MUCH more.  Looking back over the years.  I would have to say my favorite look was when in Malibu visiting my brother and sister-in-law. We were headed out somewhere and always stumped at what to wear, Janis told me the “in” look was wearing layers in Malibu.  As a joke, I put on all these tops, thinking she would laugh. It had no flow, no thread of matching. It was chaos.  She said it was perfect.

I think that’s the look I’m going for now. Perfect chaos.

I’m just trying to catch the wave of this “new normal” they keep making reference to.  I have yet to see what this new normal is exactly.  If it’s just working at home, sometimes, how is that new?  It’s still “them” calling the shots, letting us work from home (or not).  It’s still the same, just in a different location.  What I want the new normal to be is a total shift of power.  Total.  I want to tell my employer when I’m coming in (or not) – I have to confess I am allowed to do that already – but the majority of everyone I know left in the working world does not have that luxury.  Here’s some other shifts I’d like to see:

When I do go in – I want to just throw on clothes – I will shower – but makeup, “work” clothes – no.  Since I live within walking distance of my office there are times when I could just pop in and go through mail or whatever, but the getting ready, the clothes, the makeup, the matching earrings.  Why?  Why do we have to do that?  Especially when no one else is in the office.  And we don’t deal with the public.  This work dress rule is out dated, and made by men, and it needs to go.  However, that said, I do draw the line at sweats and slippers.  I mean I have standards.

There are other transitions in life that I would put more in the “new normal” category than what we are going through now.  I think this is a transition period and we might get to a new normal.  But these times don’t even compare to the new normal we have already gone through.

For instance, telephones.  From party lines, to rotary/desk phones, I remember when the kitchen wall phone was new, then pushbutton phones, then walk around phones (portable) and I mean just look where we are now with cell phones.  Just look at it.  THAT’s what I call a new normal.

What about social media and our attachment to “likes” and “comments.” Actually I don’t have a lot to say about that (as I write a public blog and put this out there for people to react to.  i.e,  like and comment) but the younger generations – it’s big time.  And the photos on social media?  My friend’s daughter – we were on vacation sending beach photos, sunsets and the like and what did this 20 something want us to send her?  Photos of food.  FOOD.  That’s just crazy.  But it’s the new normal.

Know what else is new? TV watching.  How many times does anyone watch one show a week anymore?  I miss those days.  30 minutes or an hour, turn it off and go to bed.  And wait a week. Now I can’t stop.  I start a show and it is very very hard for me to stop because I don’t have to wait until next week now to see what happens.  It’s the making of slugs.  When we get together with friends and family what invariably comes up in conversation now? “What are you watching?” That is the new normal for all of us. 

And lastly, what about these dogs.  This is NOT normal.  Daycare for dogs, with report cards, photo days and craft days.  Daycare for dogs is genius and a god send but the report cards, photo days and CRAFT days?  Hilarious.  And I have grand pups.  I love them like a true grandma would love a Grandchild.  I hang out – I love them – I take them to Daycare and after a weekend I go home!!  I am always relieved of my desire to own a pup after a weekend. 

Anyway, I went to the farmers market today and wore what I think I would wear if I was back in Malibu.  I wore two different earrings.  No one commented and said “hey – do you know you put on the wrong earrings.” Also no one commented and said “cool look.”

I’m going to keep going with it. My new normal.

It is my firm belief that when you are sitting in a chair in a doctor’s office waiting the interminable wait for them to come in; there should be someone there giving you a neck massage while you wait.  I think it would increase customer satisfaction exponentially.

All apartments should come with water filters built into the faucet.  Nobody drinks tap water anymore (well most people don’t) and now I’m in a quandary.  I was using the ZERO pitcher/water filter but I don’t know, I just don’t love it.  But do I want to go back to a Brita filter?  Or maybe I should just buy one of those faucet mounts and install myself. 

I have anxiety over the amount of plastic used by humanity.  I recently moved to a product of laundry detergent sheets (see Earth Breeze) and actually ordered a whole years’ worth to cut back on carbon emissions of monthly deliveries.  But now I’m going through 1-3 large gallon bottles of water a week – in plastic of course – because I can’t decide what kind of water filter I want to use.  It’s a conundrum I tell you. I get very anxious when I go shopping with my son and he buys cases of bottled water.  It makes me hyperventilate. He likes to tell me his shirt is made from recycled plastic bottles to make me feel better.  I’m not buying it (the shirt or the argument).

I had drops in my eyes today for an eye appointment (see above neck massage suggestion) – keeping my eyes open hurts.  Looking at this screen hurts.  The sunlight coming through my very large windows hurts. It is VERY bright today. I can’t watch TV – that will hurt.  However, this is not like a concussion (like a friend has) as there is no headache or brain mush to accompany it.  Well, the brain mush is questionable. Maybe a podcast is the way to go.

Feeling the need to share and just say no to plastic.

xoxoxo

I keep thinking of that song.  I was thinking about when a plastic bag gets caught in the wind and then gets whipped around.  Pleasantly floating one way and then the current comes and whips it another way until it eventually crashes and burn.

Isn’t this a great way to start a blog?  Can you guess what’s coming next? Sorry.

I’m moving.  Again.  And for the THIRD time in my recent life I have been packing to go one way and in the last moments go another way.  This time I had bought a house.  Or so I thought.  A 3 bedroom on ½ acre.  Not exactly the area I wanted to live in but an area I’m familiar with so I was okay with it.  Mostly I couldn’t believe that my bid was accepted and that I actually was all approved and able to buy a house in today’s market. I’ve been looking for 2 years. Along the way this particular deal would fall apart, then pull back together, then fall apart, then together.  And I was just convinced this house wanted me to live there.  It just wouldn’t die.

Until it did.

Having one too many scary stories of people paying thousands – tens of thousands – of dollars to repair cracked sewer lines I made sure to include that those had to be clear, free of vegetation and cracks. It was actually on the seller to prove as I could SEE grass in it.  They had the test and said it came back clear.  Hard to believe but I thought it was all just meant to be.

Fast forward to this week.  Monday.  Mortgage has everything they need to close on Thursday.  I have Friday plans to paint, have internet hooked up.  Kids moving me on Saturday.  My car is filled with yard tools donated by a friend to get started on the overgrown yard work that I have ahead of me.  Zach bought me a new painting kit. Excited to have a basement again to putzy in. And then I said, wait, where’s the sewer line video?  I haven’t seen it.

My agent informed me that the selling agent said it was clear.  I said yea, I want to see it. And after yelling and saying we don’t have a deal without that. I haven’t signed off on it, blah blah.  And them saying they have until midnight to send. Well, for the first time in this whole thing I lost my mind.  Screaming, throwing out the “eff” word freely and said “get me the gd video.” – But I think I said the “eff” word and not “gd” 

Guess what was in the video?

Broken pipes and roots.

I thought about it for about ½ second and cancelled the contract.  My one friend described the driveway of that house (I thought I was buying) as a lantern post driveway, referencing how long it is.  Know what else is long?  A sewer pipe from the house to the road.  Maybe 100 feet.  Maybe longer. Know how much it costs to line a cracked pipe?  A lot. So they lied, attempted to conceal evidence and pushed me to the last minute, I’m sure just hoping I would go along with it.  What assholes.  Since the mortgage company had already notified me that they were taking all my savings, I had nothing left to even consider repairs.  So that was that.

In retrospect, had they told me initially when they found out the information I may have had time to think about it and get bids and know exactly what needed to be done.  But three days before closing when I have to get out of my current residence in two weeks, well they shot themselves.  Didn’t they? And then I didn’t trust anyone or anything.

I’m within my rights to get my hand money back.  But they have 30 days to sign off on giving it back to me.  And guess who is not signing or returning calls.  I mean talk about bad, unethical real estate agents. I’ll wait until the thirty days is up and then social media here I come.

This all happened Monday night at 10 pm. I emailed my old friend, property manager, from when I lived in the city years ago.  She sent me some options.  Tuesday (yesterday) I looked at 5 apartments.  Picked one, applied and signed the lease today (Wednesday) and on Saturday I’m moving to an apartment in the city.  It’s actually an apartment right next door to the apartment I lived in, in 2014, before I moved to Florida.  Same building, same floor, same view,  But bigger apartment.

In three days my mind has gone from paint chips, yard work and new bathroom vanities, to one bedroom, elevators, storage units, and city living.  

When the wind didn’t blow my way, again, I adjusted my sails. I’m really good at that. My sister told me once that my super power is resilience.

I woke up this morning early and sat on my deck shortly after sunrise.  Anyone that knows me, knows that is NOT me.  I am a sleeper.  I have a couple days left here on the Mount before I move.  I will enjoy my deck with my neighbors and my face in the sun for three more mornings and then I’ll be on to the next/old adventure of living in the city.  My beloved neighbors are an incline ride away. I loved living in the city before.  I’ll love it again. 

Anybody need a patio umbrella?

xoxoxo

I’m reading a book about Immigration.  It’s called The Undocumented Americans, by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio. I have never thought much about Immigration other than what I see on the news, which is vastly different (or at least not as thorough) as actually reading a book about it.  But this blog is not about Immigration.  This is about Karla Cornejo Villavicencio style of writing.  She writes in short sentences.  I am a rambler writer (when I write).  She would never use parenthesis. Or after thoughts. When I read a book with short sentences, I think like that after I put it down.  Right now my thoughts are short sentences.

I am moving again.  I look at several rentals a day. I am no longer looking to buy.  I am not competitive in today’s market. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am not sad. I am just moving on. I am sad about leaving this particular residence. I love my neighbors. I love my view. I can not see the view in the winter months.  There are no windows in the back of the house.  I have 4 windows. One of those 4 look directly into my neighbor’s kitchen. My bathroom is downstairs. My bedroom is upstairs. The heat on the first floor where the bathroom is does not work correctly.  I hate the cold. I am not moving back to Florida. I am moving somewhere where the heat works in the winter time. On all floors. In all rooms. I also need closet space. I have boxes and bins of photos. All people my age with children (or not) have photos. We also have shoes. I wear most of my shoes. I will wear more when I can go out of the house. I have nowhere to keep my shoes. I also have books.  They are piled on various floors. I do not have ample space in this current abode.

I think I want to live in the city limits of Pittsburgh. I think I want to be close to work. But I think I am NOT a real city girl.  I look at these places and then I think “where I am”? Beautiful views. But I don’t know where I am. I was very sad to leave Daytona Beach when I moved back in January of 2019.  But now I am very happy to be home in Pittsburgh.  I think I’ll be happy in my next place but again sad to leave this place. I will definitely be happy when I am warm and not tripping over my shoes. I want to find that next place soon.  I am tired of looking.

I have recently been exposed to an infected person with Covid. I believe my neighbor is infected. He is not the one I was exposed to. He is just an additional exposee. He is on his way right now to be tested. He does not feel well. I am worried for him. I am fully vaccinated. I can still get Covid and be a carrier without symptoms. My employer only cares if I have symptoms. If I don’t have symptoms I am expected to continue working in the office as long as I wear a mask 100% of the time and don’t eat lunch with anyone and don’t go into anyone’s office or meeting space. If I have symptoms I need to get tested they said. I said I think I should get tested anyway so I don’t spread it even though I don’t have symptoms. They said, it’s up to me. If I choose to get tested on my own, and the test comes back positive, I can’t go to work. With or without symptoms and masking. They don’t advocate for a test without symptoms regardless of exposure. I don’t know how to process this logic. They said very few people understand the logic of their requirements.  I work at home anyway. I don’t have a job that requires me to come in. I just wanted to know if I “wanted” to come in if I would be allowed or what the company line is. Now I know. Or do I?  I have a life outside of my home which is the one I care about.

The Spanish flu lasted 1-2 years. Somewhere between 20 million and 100 million people died worldwide with the Spanish Flu, according to Google. 675,000 US Deaths are attributed to the Spanish Flu from that time. Covid deaths are up to 555K deaths in the US. Worldwide 2.86M. The Spanish Flu did not last forever. Covid will not last forever.  

Masks were worn in 1918. I will wear mine in 2021. I have several that match my shoes.

xoxoo

Is anyone else thinking about what they want to do and be in the next life?  I am realizing I spend a bit of time saying “I want to do that next life”.  I know I (hopefully) have another 25-30 years, which is a good amount of time, but there are some things you just can’t do with the time you have left.

For instance, next life, I want to attend school more than I skip it (if we even have the same school system).  I want to focus less on boys.  I still want to be a girl but focus on something else in highschool.  Like learning.  I want to play sports AND music.  I want band to be cool again, and this time I WILL practice that piano. I promise. I want to take up dancing too. Maybe drama club. Maybe even singing and dancing?

I want to meet my “soul-mate” in my 20’s.  Maybe in college.  I want us to both be professionals in our own right.  I want to make a difference in whatever I do. I want to get married and stay married our whole lives and celebrate our 70th wedding anniversary together.  After our initial apartment together, when we have kids I want to get one house and stay in it our entire lifetime.  So our kids always have “home”.  The same “home” and at the end of our lives (next time) there will be uncounted treasures and memories throughout that house.  Sure they’ll sell it, but we won’t. I guess additional vacation homes would be okay too.

I want to grow up in a different country, or maybe New York City.  LOL. That’s like a different country. I would have loved to have grown up in the city.  I mean how different would my life have been.  I can already see how even growing up in the city limits of Pittsburgh would have been so different than the suburbs where I grew up.  I love hearing the stories from my neighbors, life long residents of “the city” and taking inclines and busses and downtown was their “up street” – it’s so fascinating to me to think of growing up that way.  It sounds more fun and adventurous than how I grew up, looking for rides to get off that hill. What if I could have jumped on a subway to get where I needed to go?

Living in Europe would be fascinating.  I’ve heard on the border of some countries people know FIVE languages just because they have to.  FIVE.  I want to know five languages too. 

I’d like to have the same siblings, but my parents would have to have some major tweaking.  They can be the same but there’s going to have to be some ground rules!  I wouldn’t mind trying it all again with all of us.  But I’m not joking about the tweaking.

And I hope to the Gods I get the same children and more.  I had an astrologer tell me that I’ve never been poor in a past life.  LOL.  Seriously, wtf.  She also said because of this wealth I’ve never raised my own kids.  So, if this is my first time doing that, and I started small with 2, maybe after review it’ll be determined that I did okay and we can add a couple more next time.  Not like a litter, but 4 would be good.  Nice round number. With the same father. Although I’m okay with adopting too!

I know there are many years ahead of me which is why I am looking for that one “grandma” house so when I have grandchildren it will be Grandma’s house for at least the rest of mine and their lives together.  And they will have their memories of being at grandma’s.  The house also needs to have a yard for the grandpups.  So they can get excited to spend the weekend at grandmas too. Those pups are easy though. They get excited regardless of a yard.

Unfortunately, so far, this next and final house is alluding me. Because this is not a wealthy lifetime (like who decided that?) I am not competitive enough to get these houses that come on the market. I am not sure what the message is from the universe and at times I wonder if I’m not supposed to resettle in this area.  Spain looks pretty.  But that would be a far visit for those grandpups.  Of course we could all move there couldn’t we?  Is it too late for me to learn another language?  Hola?

The Gemini that I am is feeling the wanderlust of wanting to do something so totally different and wanting that grandma’s house that never changes and is constant. In the past I had no interest in traveling to Europe.  Now I have the next five years of European trips planned out. One a year. I wonder if I planned to have money at least the rest of my life or if this life has been totally devoted to “wanting more”. I’ll have to go back to that Astrologer.

xoxoxo