lynn monahan

I’m back from Virginia.  It’s such a mixed blessing being there.  First of all I never go in the summer, traditionally, because it is way too hot and mom doesn’t believe in AC. It’s evil you know. She says the heat doesn’t bother her.  I will give it to her a little bit because if you sit there under the fan, doing nothing, it really is quite comfortable for the most part.  Even sleeping isn’t bad as the nights cool down to the 70’s and if she turns that attic fan on it pulls in cool air and works really well.  There is a “sleeping porch” but I’m not going out there.  Even though it’s screened in I just don’t trust it (bugs and bats you know).  So with the country in a heatwave crisis last week I wasn’t my usual productive self, washing windows and screens and organizing and going through things like I should be doing preparing for the pending sale.  But what I did do was interview realtors, met with an estate sales person, and then on the last day I cooked two meals (carrot hot dogs that were delicious!) and I cleaned off both porches.  I also bought and planted flowers, made many phone calls and ran errands so I wasn’t completely useless.  She would start to ask me to do something and then said “it’s okay Kerry can do this next week” – I told her Kerry is going to kill me for leaving so much but..hey, one of those days I was actually sick from the heat and had to lay down.  No amount of blind-mother-living-alone-in-the-woods-guilt was going to get me cleaning out files.  I went to my room and lay under the fan and had fever dreams for 20 minutes.

As I left yesterday for the long drive back to Florida (12.5 hours) I was seeing the neighbors on their horses, waved to a couple along the road, saw someone doing ring work up at the corner and I thought back to a year or so ago when I lived there and thought maybe I had found my place and people.  As much as the house now just represents work and bugs to me I do love that area.  I’ve been going there literally my entire life.  It was the very first place I lived as a newborn.  And my friend Lori was living there (now deceased 🙁 ) but I had plans of finding a job, living “close” to mom, not with her but nearby, riding with Lori, finding my people, but as seems to be the theme of my life I was once again uprooted, left and moved back to Florida, apprehensive at best.  Well, everyone knows that story, but you know, parting with this family home is kinda killing a very big part of me.  Part of me gets caught up in the sale of it – being a former realtor myself I get excited when people love it, which everyone does and I see dollar signs.  Seriously people walk in that house with their mouths open and can’t believe how beautiful it is, and it IS beautiful.  It’s literally a work of art. So part of me wonders how we can give up this work of art that our own grandfather built, again literally with his own two hands, and it’s perfect, besides needing maintenance.  The other side of me is so excited about getting my mother out of there that I can’t wait until it’s over.  I’m excited that she is moving “home” to Pittsburgh.  I asked her where she felt more at home, in Goochland where she went to highschool and lives now or in Pittsburgh where she raised us.  She admitted that she has mostly felt like the care taker of that house and that she probably considers Pittsburgh (Sewickley) home. It makes me so happy to think of her back home, with Evan and my sister to check in on her, all the grandchildren around (who will hopefully visit at least once) and of course making my visits easier – one visit home and done.   She can have heat and AC (even though she hates it) and less worries and hopefully no bugs, although you can have those anywhere of course.  My apartment in Moon Township was the buggiest place I ever lived.  But anyway, my thoughts for her future are filled with happiness and relief and I think she’s going to be happy having her family around her. I‘m super excited about that and super sad about ending our time in Goochland.  Zachary had the perfect solution that whoever buys it might turn it into a VRBO or AirBnB and we can stay there once in awhile.  Wouldn’t that be perfect?  But who knows what will happen to it.  And what about Abigail?  The little baby buried at the end of the driveway?  Will the new owners say hello to her every time they pull into the driveway like we do?  Will they plant flowers on her grave?  Will they walk to the creek? One of my favorite realtors, when I told her this certain path led to the creek, walked right down there.  We loved her best because she was so enthusiastic about the property.  She also is living with our cousin so she is sort of almost related.  I told her we would give her a deal if she wanted to buy it because she is family and it would be nice to have a Knibb (my grandfather’s ancestry) in there. But I don’t think it’s a viable option.  And what about the graves of my grandparents and great-grandmother behind Salem Baptist Church which is now the Christian Arabic Church (I’m not kidding – quite a change for this area).  As you can see by this picture they have not given this cemetery any priority.  What do we do about that? How can we leave this area that is our home?  On the other hand, who takes care of my grandmother’s parents graves in Illinois?  I’ve never even seen them.  They don’t have any ancestors taking care of them either.  This life responsibilities, growing old, legacy, like it’s all too much.

I’ve always been searching for my people.  Going back to 9^th grade, Neal Rapp and I started applying to boarding schools.  Okay only he applied but I wanted to go to Boarding school so bad. My parents said no. I didn’t feel like I belonged in that school.  I never ever felt like I belonged in the high school, which is why I never went to it.  I visited the private school in the area, Sewickley Academy once or twice, I don’t know that I felt I belonged there either.  I visited North Allegheny high school once with Jean, they had a smoking lounge for the students.  Can you believe it?.  I never felt like I belonged there.  Wayyy too many people. Plus they all wore makeup!   When I was forced (you know kinda forced) to move to mom’s last year-ish  I had hoped Goochland was going to be where I found my place and people, before that I thought Sunset Beach was going to be my place and people, Palm Harbor was my place and people for a year which was nice, and before that I thought downtown Pittsburgh was my place but not there long enough to find my city people.  Fair Oaks which was definitely my place as in my house and no greater neighbors than Mike and Freida but when they moved away I never recovered.  And well last month I thought maybe New York would be my place and honestly there are so many people there that I bet I could find someone (or two) that would eventually be my people but that’s not an option either…and we all know DeLand is not my place or my people.

In the midst of all this mother business I’ll be moving in 18 days!!  I’m really excited about this move so maybe, just maybe, Port Orange is going to be where my people finally are.  I will give it a year or so and if not, well maybe I’ll end up like my mom and come back “home” – I mean didn’t Dorothy say it best?  There’s no place like home.  It’s been my life’s work to find mine.

xoxox

I think I should run for President, of the United States.  I have lots of ideas.  For instance:

Native Americans – they should live in the National Parks (if they want to) that’s where their reservations should be – but no casinos inside the parks.

Descendants of slaves – descendants should receive shares in the tobacco and cotton industry, the coal industry too- from what I read recently, in the aftermath of the civil war, free slaves were “arrested” for no reason and forced to work in coal mines.

Central American/Mexican illegal immigrants seeking refuge– Let them in.  Let them all in. Really bad ones get sent back. Illegal children that have gone through the US school system K-12 (or 80%) are automatic citizens.   But here’s a perplexing question, after watching Goliath on Amazon and having nightmares for 3 nights in a row, why are these drug cartels so horrible?  What is that mindset?  What is the psychology of that behavior?  What is going on in those minds?  Come to think of it, network television is filled with mysteries based on crimes of extreme horribleness.  Why are they so popular?  This is Us is MUCH better.  Reruns of Friends is pretty good too.

I haven’t figure out climate rules yet  -But Jerry Brown in California has some pretty good ideas according to 60 Minutes.

And Four day work weeks..

And the chef who comes up with the recipes for the Purple Carrot food boxes would be the White House chef during my tenure.

Well, chances are I’m not going to get voted for.  But I have ideas popping into my head all the time these days.  Too bad I don’t have an idea for another book instead.

Other than that, I’m just trying to fill up my 30 more days before I move to my new neighborhood of Port Orange.  I drove over there today and hung out on the beach to read my book. Pretty soon I’ll be able to get there in 15 minutes – instead of 45. It’s so lovely to sit there and read – take a walk if I want. I just can’t tell you how fortunate I feel.

After the Painting with a Twist class in Pittsburgh and a little painting project we did at an all day retreat last week, I was inspired to paint a piece of furniture.  I used to do that a lot back in the Fair Oaks days. I haven’t thought about doing that in a long time. Where I work there is all this furniture that no one wants, our warehouse is full (so they say, but never have anything I ask for).  So this little table was going to be thrown out and I was inspired to bring it home and paint it.  It was covered with some sort of textured, like sand, brown/black paint. I think it’s particle board.  It’s not wood for sure.  So look how good I did. I copied the idea from the Brylane Home catalog.  They have a flower table I’ve been lusting after – an end table – that’s $300.  Mine cost $25 in paint and brushes.

Now I have to get through these 30 days without the termites finding it. I had a bulletin board that my mother gave me years and years ago, I had it on the wall.  When I came back from New York I noticed all this sawdust underneath it.  End of the story, the termites found it.  I’m so disgusted with this apartment and the termites.  They could get into my furniture and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I wonder if there is an executive order I can make about termites when I become President?

In the meantime, it’s on to Virginia this week to list the house.  I am having unbelievable anxiety about it. But mom is ready.  I have not heard any hesitation on her end.  I guess when you’re ready you’re ready.  I’M not ready – but she is.

xoxoxox

I was hoping to end my mini-travel blog with a picture of me at the beach today and make comments about how cool my life is; one day in Central Park, the next at the Beach, but I didn’t get out of the house today.  My life still is pretty cool.  I mean I “could” have gone to the beach today, I just chose not to.

My last day in the big city was quiet for being in New York City.  I slept in, got a cup of coffee and sat across the street from the hotel at one of the entrances to Central Park (6^th Avenue) and just watched people and horse carriages until the restaurant opened where I wanted to eat.  There are these “hustlers” – young guys, maybe Latino but could be Italian or Greek or Iranian, I have no idea, but they can get kind of obnoxious pushing the carriage rides, or bikes or whatever it is they were pushing.  As I was walking across the street to get to my park bench one of these very obnoxious but handsome  young  man was checking me out – with like a smile in a good way, didn’t even try to sell me something!  I mean like, seriously?  Well,,,, I’ve never been so happy in my entire life.

Here are my parting pics:

So that’s it – back to the grind tomorrow.

37 days to moving day.  it’s coming right up! A lot can happen in 37 days.  Stay tuned.

xoxoxoxo

It may be a bit premature but I’m ready to pack it in and move to the big apple, as in NYC.  I’m not gonna lie, I have been a bit apprehensive about coming here by myself.  I’m here for a work function.  But the hotel is 3 miles from the meeting/dinner stuff.  Not sure why they booked a hotel way up here EXCEPT that it’s a pretty great location overlooking Central Park.  Although I personally am not overlooking Central Park – I’m overlooking the city…still it’s NYC.  Anyway, anyway, last time I flew into Laguardia I was met by limo drivers, way back in the day when I worked for Thomson Newspapers, who would whisk me away and drive me up to Stamford.  So navigating a cab was the first adventure..pretty easy..and then I got car sick, but to be fair I got a little motion sickness on the plane when we were landing.  Holy shit it was bumpy and he kept turning around, possibly to avoid turbulence, but maybe to confuse us into thinking we were on a ride at Universal Studios.  I was trying to remember the last time I was actually “in” the big city when my taxi driver asked me and at first I said at least 10 years, but I realized it’s probably more like 20.  Ugh…hate to have memories that far back.  Anyway, it was thrilling to be able to pay for that taxi ride with a credit card.  I mean how convenient!! Except I forgot to get a receipt.  Oh well..

So other than making the cab driver walk me across the street cause he dropped me off across the street from the entrance I decided this is no big deal.  It’s a city.  I’ve worked in a city most of my adult life.  You make a left, make a right, find a landmark and go.  And well that’s what I’ve done so far.  I felt like I walked a far way down 5^th Avenue but when I look at a map it was only ½ mile. But that was ½ mile down and ½ mile back.  My shoes are okay but not really supportive for a 3 mile walk.  But how much fun am I?  I mean kinda like Mary Tyler Moore…although a little bigger than Milwaukee.

Here are some of the sights from my afternoon get-acquainted-with-my-area walk:

So I take a cab the three miles to dinner – took almost an hour – and when the cabbie found a workaround he drove so fast that I thought I would cry.  I shut my eyes so many times..I thought I’d throw up…again.  And then we got into almost an argument because, my fault, I thought he passed the place and he yelled at me. I mean I was nice about it,  I was just lost.  But what a ride.  Literally.

Dinner was okay – it was loud – a restaurant called Arte, not great.  I mean seriously disappointing for New York; however, I met some lovely people when I could hear them.  It was very very loud and I couldn’t really hear the person next to me.  However, Jim, who lives in the upper west side, was taking the subway home and he said it went “right-by” our hotel.  Kim at my table was game so we followed him onto the subway home.  I think when New Yorker’s say “right-by” it has a different meaning than what I think of as “right-by”.  We walked through Greenwich Village to catch the subway and got out at Columbia Circle.  Luckily Kim knew where she was going to get back to our Hotel.  I wouldn’t have figured it out.  I asked Kim if she wanted to try the subway in the morning to go back to the meeting and she said “no” – taking a cab.  HA!  Yea, I think I’m with her. It’s just not worth it.  I mean I could get the hang of it if I was here longer but I think I’ll just get that thrilling cab ride tomorrow morning.  It’ll wake me up.

At the end of the day, which it is, I am having a great time.  It’s so fun!

xoxoxo

I think I’m going to make ham bbqs for moving day.  I found this delicious recipe on Allrecipes.com called Pittsburgh Ham Barbecues.  I asked Alexa (mom day present) to find me a recipe for Ham bbq and that’s what she came up with.  Must be Kismet don’t you think?  I asked her for some dinner ideas.  She didn’t come up with ham bbq on her own though.  I just happened to have ham in the fridge.  I’m not exactly sure WHY I had ham in the fridge because it is rare that I eat lunchmeat.  Well anyway I promised my moving helpers that I would feed them and I’ve been stressing about it ever since.  Believe it or not it’s been so long since I’ve entertained I have no idea what to make.  Until tonight.  The only diet restriction for my movers is no dairy so how does this sound: ham bbq’s, macaroni salad, potato chips, maybe deviled eggs (although that might be too much mayo), watermelon and chocolate chip cookies? I think I need a vegetable.  Maybe I should make a green salad too? or maybe a cold green bean salad? Something green. Does that sound delicious for a moving crew?  I guess I need beer.  I mean these people have volunteered to move me in the dead of summer, end of July, in Florida heat.  Maybe I’ll make them some chicken broth to go. I mean I really do make good chicken broth, even in the middle of summer.

So just to confirm, I’m moving at the end of July.  It seems like an eternity.  49 days according to Alexa. I haven’t told my landlord yet.  I’m going to tell him June 15.  I’m pretty sure he doesn’t read my blog.  I’d be in trouble.  I just don’t want to give him too much time and have him kick me out earlier than my place is available.  That happens you know.  I don’t trust the universe just yet.

Well anyway, I’m so excited, so very very excited about the move but I’m trying to maintain. 49 days is a long time.  To pass the time I’m going to be doing some traveling.  Pittsburgh this weekend, NYC next weekend, maybe St. Pete the next weekend and then Virginia.  It’ll help pass the time.

Lots of new stuff happening other than I’m moving. At work my office is also moving (just to another building).  My brother is moving and wait for it….mom is selling the house.  I know. It’s big. So lots of emotions going on.  I’m really happy and relieved that she’s taking this step.  It feels like a huge weight off.  So much easier on so many levels for her, really easier for all of us.  Her plan is to move into something small in Sewickley so if any of you know of a small, one story house, with a place to sit outside, laundry on same floor, call me.  In Sewickley she’ll be around my sister and Evan (granddaughter) and all the babies and it’ll be easier for me not to have to split all the vacation time and just go to Pittsburgh to see everyone in one swoop.  Well actually that won’t help me because I don’t have time to see everyone when I’m there as it is.  It actually won’t help at all.  But maybe I can take more vacation time in one place. I can’t imagine walking out of my mom’s house for the last time.  I can’t bear to think about selling that place, but there’s just no other solution. I spent the first 3 months of my life in that house.  I’ve been going to Goochland County my entire life  Well anyway, I am grateful for my 6 months there last year.  I had decided after that time that I really don’t want to live there.  I love visiting but I would never want to live there.  Not enough sunshine, too drafty,  alright fine…if I had it with the furniture I wanted in it I probably would love it.  I don’t know….but it’s her decision and it’s a very very smart decision.  All these changes.   Oh and the biggest change, I’m going to be 60 next week.  What is happening?????

It’s actually weird seeing all my school-mates on Facebook hitting the same 60 mark that I will be hitting next week.  I’ve gone from not caring at all to full-on freakout (about 6 months ago) complete with anxiety attack to just total acceptance but not really in a good way.  Basically I just don’t want to think about it. It’s just another birthday- I’m still going to celebrate the day for the rest of my life but I don’t think I’ll ever think about an number associated with it again.  The boys and I are going to the Arts Festival on Saturday and then we’re going to do a Painting with a Twist thing on Sunday.  It’ll be so much fun.  Plus I get to see Mya’s graduation from preschool and of course my girls late night at Eat N Park.  I mean we really know how to live. On my actual bday I am celebrating with a dentist appointment.  I’m also going to look at a house for my mom while I’m in Pittsburgh. Kerry already said it’s not a practical house but what the heck I’m looking anyway.  It looks really cute.  Maybe I should buy it for myself.  That would be fun to do.  (living in my head again..)

In the meantime, I’ve picked out a couch and a dog. Both have to wait 49 days minimum. The dog probably a bit longer.  I’m so excited to get another couch.  I’m going to spend an entire weekend stretched out on it. Soooo excited.

xoxoxoxo

I’m remembering the very first time I wrote a blog…that’s all.  Just remembering.

JK..you know it’s not like me to be brief. I remember I was living in Fair Oaks and had taken a sick day. I have a feeling it was cold out – or I couldn’t afford the gas to get to work – one or the other, or both. I had thought about blogging for some reason – must have read about it somewhere – so I chose that day to ramble on about what I did that day.  Which if I remember correctly had something to do with an avocado either as a face mask or hair treatment.  And that was what was on my very first blog.  Guess who read it…Janelly.  I have no recollection of how she even saw it – obviously I posted it somewhere – but I remember she read it.  Do you remember JaNel? Anyway, the site is still live.  Looks like I erased that original post and posted over it – it has one post – the post about moving day to Florida which was obviously pre finallyflorida and well the rest is history.  By the looks of it I must have assumed my blogging would have taken on a more spiritual/religious turn (i.e. god’s turn)…. Life…just can’t figure it out.

I am reminded of this because I am home again, taking a sick day.  I can’t use lack of fuel or the cold as an excuse but I can use the fact that I’m just needing the day.  After some much-needed rest this morning I was once again sending out books.  5 more today.  I’m going big too.  Big name agencies, and small ones too.  Hey, you never know. Everybody was new at some point.

I’ve decided to make some moves…quite literally..to get some “life” back into my life.  No I am NOT quitting my job.  Everybody exhale. I looked at an apartment near the beach over the weekend.  It would be a big move but a much-needed one. I have not kept it a secret that I have not warmed up to DeLand.  For instance, I am home today, in Florida, sitting in this stupid chair (I love my chair though honest). I mean I want to be outside. I have a yard, this is true, but I can’t explain my neighborhood to you, it’s not a yard I would sit in. So I’m trying to literally make a move.  I think I’ve stressed myself about it so much that I’ve stressed myself right into a sick day. I have applied but I don’t know that I’ll be approved, although there is no rental history reason not to be approved but I will find out soon I imagine.  It’s a one bedroom in an apartment complex similar to Waterford Landing (for those of you that remember when I lived there) only smaller. – well 1 bedroom not 2.  But it would be a return to normalcy with cabinets to put things in, closets, a dishwasher!!, a bathtub, a screened in porch, central air and heat, a washer and dryer!! I can do laundry any day of the week (right now I am assigned to Wednesdays) I mean I won’t know what to do with myself…AND windows that open.  And a pool., and exercise room, and they pick up your garbage every day.  How wild is that? I’m thinking that is the result of a problem with bugs but all I have to do is put the garbage outside the door and they come and get it.  You can’t opt out.  You have to have the service.  And let’s see what else – oh it’s 3 miles from the beach 🙂  And get this – I stopped in a semi-fancy strip mall for a late breakfast place called Cinnamon Tree Café.  Alongside this delicious place (turkey, brie, apricot jam crêpe) is a burger place, a dinner place  and wait for it…sushi. HA!  Oh not to mention a Smoothie King and a Nail place.  This is all in one strip mall less than a mile from the apartment. I could walk there, as there are sidewalks but I won’t because the sidewalks are along an 8 lane highway so yea, no…But won’t take much in gas to get there.  It’s also weirdly minutes away from horse farms.  Now I have been warned that those horse farms are in “cracker” territory (yea I had to look it up once too) and I probably don’t want to ride there, but I have to believe that there’s someplace where I can go and not get killed.  I was also told it’s a “fly-in” community.  Know what that means?  HA!  Me either. These communities offer residents the ability to keep their own planes right in their back yards, allowing them to come and go through the air as they please. Apparently John Travolta used to fly in and out of the airport in this community until he bought a 747 so now he has his own private airstrip in Ocala…so the story goes.

Well obviously a different community than DeLand.  There is nothing wrong with DeLand.  It has a cute Main street. But is it bad that I prefer a nice Ross Dress for Less because I can’t afford the shops?  Is that bad?  I mean if I can get a top for $9.99 why would I pay $99 because it’s in my community? I seriously wonder who shops in there. Even in Sewickley I could find a nice sale. Well needless to say I think it would be a good move for me and guess what??  I wouldn’t even have another housewarming blog party. Nope, I’m good all on my own.  (everyone exhale again) I even know what kind of couch I want already (imagine that Suzanne) – and dinette table.  But I’m not gonna lie – it’s a lot more money and a 25 mile one way commute which will be about 45 minutes during rush hour. I’m kinda used to that timing from living in Fair Oaks/Sewickley and working in the city for ever.  But there in Pittsburgh it was more traffic jams and walking across the bridge eating up time.  This will be mostly distance. Kinda like living in Beaver and driving to the city every day.  BUT to be 3 miles from the beach I think I’ll manage. And even if I can’t afford to eat I can still walk on the beach.  That’s free!

Having narrowed down knowing now what kind of community I want to live in (again)  I thought about what kind of lifestyle I want and then started sending out those books. I mean it could be bad, I could be back to calling off work because of lack of fuel. Might be a little more motivated these days to push that book. Maybe it’s the right time. Things in life take a long time to come together. Just like that blog I started years ago, it had to be maybe 2009 ish? And I didn’t start one for real until 2014. One thing I’ve learned at this age is it’s rare that life just comes together; although that happens too and has happened for me once or twice, but usually I’ve been working at it awhile, just trying to figure it all out.

Well could all be a moot point as I have not heard back from my application.  I don’t know that I’ll be overly devastated (other than being out the non refundable application fee) BUT I will say this, if it falls through I know I have to keep looking because I now know what direction I need to go next.  It’s time to put some life back into this ‘ole girl.

‘ole being relative…should not be confused with the word “old”

xoxoxox

I sent out five more queries today to agents to try to get someone to represent me as a writer  I’m up to about 40 total now, maybe like 43. Only 160 more to go before real discouragement sets in. There is so much out there on the internet with tips about querying, writing the perfect pitch letter, blah blah blah.  It’s dizzying. One blog post I read by an agent said they had over 2700 queries in their inbox. Can you imagine!  2700!! I mean seriously I can’t even imagine where you would start.  It’s probably eenee-meenie… Similarly when looking for an agent there are so many out there.  There are lists to help you find one and I realize that almost all of my queries have been sent to company’s A-C.  I haven’t even gotten to the middle of the alphabet yet.  I think I might start with Z next go around. I really have to be in the mood to send them out.  It’s not like you just write a blanket query.  Although I wonder if maybe I spend tooo much time thinking about it. Between researching the company and then researching the agent and then submitting to their specifications well I’m exhausted.  I mean it’s possible to get an agent that never does anything for you, you know? So I worry about that too.  Getting that interest is just a first step…There are so many more steps to go through.  But first I have to get my foot in the door!  It’s so much like temping.  I have such a hard time getting a job based on interviewing but when I temp I’m hired in a week.  Maybe it’s the same thing with my writing, I just need someone to read it.

I want to start another blog adventure. I saw on Facebook some travel immersion type experience where you go live in a city for 6 weeks and immerse yourself in the culture.  So that’s what I want to do.  6 weeks in Paris, 6 weeks in Spain and 6 weeks in Italy.  Sounds a little like Eat Pray Love doesn’t it?  But you know my voice is different. So someone has to finance my first book so I can write this second book, in Europe.  This is my new living in my head idea. I gotta make one of those vision boards.

One of the questions I get really stuck on when writing these query letters is when asked to include an autobiography.  A short autobiography.  What is it do you think they want to know? Do they want to know about my kids?  My mom? My siblings?  How about the babies?  Do they want to know where I went to college?  Where I dropped out of as well as finished?  Or all my office jobs?  My meeting planning life?  Do they maybe want to know about the blog 5 people read?  Probably that, but if I include that I have a blog they want to see you have 10,000 followers minimum.  I mean I’m just not that kind of blogger.  I have 20 friends ya know?  Maybe they want and should know about my friends because realistically they are who have gotten me through life and the whole reason I started the blog in the first place which made me chase this dream of being a writer.  There was also a question to summarize my book in one sentence.  These are so “Julia” (my boss) type questions.  Remember when I said they ask people for a 6 word story.  Sometimes those 6 words are fun, but seriously it’s just an exercise to drive the rest of us crazy.  I looked through my book and came up with this one sentence: I don’t have one regret, I would not have done anything differently.  

It’s frustrating when you hear people use JK Rowling’s as an example of getting turned down in the literary world. She was only turned down by 13 publishers. That’s nothing.  James Patterson was turned down by 70.  My friend Aimee went to self-publishing after 70.  Chicken soup for the soul series I’ve heard 200 rejections but who knows if that’s true. I truly believe it’s right place, right time with everything at least in my life.  I mean you must have a base but with jobs and men it’s no doubt right-place-right-time for me. My time is tomorrow.  I will start packing for Seville (Spain) and pack that extra toothbrush for my new man, who will forget his and be happy that I remembered to pack an extra which I will tell him while we’re sitting in the first class seats on our flight.  I’ve got his back for the little things.  I’m a good girlfriend from what I remember.

xoxoxox

There is an episode of Grace and Frankie where they are trying to buy a pack of cigarettes and getting totally ignored by the store clerk.  It’s hilarious but also a little sad, and until my recent travel experience I thought it was clearly an exaggeration.  So, last Friday night I was checking into my flight to come up to Pittsburgh.  I was traveling on Southwest so why not check a bag right?  I mean it’s free.  So I checked into the little kiosk there, got my luggage tag, tagged my bag, and waited for the next agent.  As I started to approach the open agent some “kid” whizzed by from out of nowhere on my right and went up to the counter.  Her mom, a few steps behind her said “did she just cut in front of you?” to which I said “yes” and they continued to check their bags in front of me. Her mom must have told her as she looked back at me mortified, apparently confirming that she did not see me.  After they finished someone else cut in front of me that was to my left. As yet a third person started to cut I said “come on” and the baggage guy finally took me next.  Even he said “I didn’t see you” – I mean I was standing RIGHT THERE.  RIGHT there.  To make matters worse on the return flight the same thing happened.  I checked my bag waited for the open agent and as they became open I started forward and then a family of three just ran in front of me up to the agent.  WTF.  Seriously, WTF.  This family did not apologize like the last mom did. This time it was the daughter that looked back at me slightly embarrassed. Aholes.

My flight to Pittsburgh which was last Friday night (one week ago) was delayed which wasn’t bad as it enabled me to see all of a play that Marissa choreographed before I had to get to the airport. (She did such a good job) So it was okay. But I landed at 2 am – getting to my sisters at 3 am. Long day.  It was 85 degrees when I left Florida (again last week we’re talking) and when I landed it was 29 degrees and the rampway off the plane was icy.  I was freezing.

Returning  to Florida last night was okay (and had finally warmed up) – got to the airport 4 hours early but I didn’t mind.  It was nice to have a few minutes/hours to myself to just collect my thoughts and check emails. Other than the now familiar being ignored at the baggage counter I took my time getting to my gate – A3, clearly marked on my boarding pass, which I printed this time as my phone dies just because…seriously just because.  (Jumping ahead in my story I had turned my phone off when I got on the plane to come back here with 65% battery.  Turned it back on to send “I’ve landed” texts.  Sent two texts and boom 1%.)  But back to the travel blog…while I was walking across the hall (still in Pittsburgh) to find a quiet place to plug the phone in and make some calls I saw Mr. Maloney from Federated.  I temped for Mr. Maloney for one week back in 1999 and he told me he would find me a job anywhere I wanted at Federated.  I picked meeting planning part-time.  He was a bit disappointed and suggested something else but I wanted part-time meeting planning.  We’ve talked before about wrong choices haven’t we? (although that really was the perfect choice for me at the time) Anyway there was Mr. Maloney.  I actually thought he was probably dead.  He is not.  So I stopped and reintroduced myself sincerely happy to see him alive.  Of course he doesn’t remember me but was totally kind.  He told me he still works there, something like 45 years now, travels between homes in Pittsburgh and Chesapeake.  I told him I was in Florida now, always hoping to get back to the west coast, so he added that they have a house in Marco Island too.  I decided that was enough out of him.  House here, house there, whatever.  And went across the hall to make my phone calls.  Ole’ Mr. Maloney.  I think his secretary did tell me once that he’s probably around the same age as I am.  But I was weirdly happy to see him.

Boarding was at 7:00 pm and I noticed they started lining up.  I went to the bathroom one last time where I heard boarding at A3 come immediately – I’m like again, WTF, so run out of there and well they are still lining up.  What’s the hurry?  I had forgotten to check in the day before so was way back at B52 – and they were just lining up the B’s.  Ya know?  Again, what’s the hurry? So I sat back down around the place I should be standing.  So on they were going and she said ‘boarding now blah blah Phoenix” –  I look at the guy beside me and said “did she just say Phoenix?”  She sure did, although he was kinda cute and said I could still come to Phoenix with him  but once more I was like …fuuuuuuccckkk…  I’d been sitting there 2+ hours watching the wrong gate. I haven’t told my kids this one.  I even scared myself.  Luckily my gate was A7 (very close by)  CLEARLY marked on the boarding pass.  Where did I get A3?  I look at that boarding pass over and over wondering how I got that mixed up.  I was never able to figure it out but did manage to get in line for the right flight, boarded, got a nice aisle seat up front and landed in Orlando, not Phoenix.  Thank god.

And that’s the end of my travel blog.

I’m back in Florida, back at work today, back at cooking/burning my dinner of eggplant moussaka. I was home in Pittsburgh this past week celebrating the end of an era, or as better known in our society as a funeral.  There really wasn’t any celebrating at all.  It was very sad. Giving all of us pause as our parents (not my mom yet) are dying at dizzying speed.  I mean it is the right time for this to be going on but the longer they live the more memories are made the harder it is.  Probably easier that my dad died when I was 26.  I’ve lived more years without him than with.  Ya know?  But when a parent dies and we’re pushing 60, well that’s a lot of time to have had a person in your life.  Even as our parents say they are ready to go and we might feel like it’s time well I don’t think we’re really ever ready.  Jimmy’s (my son) Nunni (his grandma) died last week. That’s why I went up.  He said he has two frozen containers of her pasta sauce in the freezer.  She cooked pasta every Sunday.  Actually I thought he would have had more that that in the freezer.  I wonder if he will ever eat the last two.  I don’t think I could do it.  I’d rather keep them in there and just look at them forever.  I have a really hard time with the passage of time these days.  It’s happening too fast.  I have some really good years ahead of me (I hope) but I think I’m doing that thing they always talk about that comes about later in life..confronting my own mortality. I always thought that would happen when I was like 80.  Didn’t expect to be doing that now.

Oh well, time marches on.  I don’t want to think or blog about it anymore because I can get really dark.

So tonight I’m going to eat my Moussaka thing (it’s a healthy Purple Carrot tofu thing)..watch some TV, think about the massage/facial that I have scheduled for tomorrow with the gift certificate I got from work.  Did I mention that?  I got a really really nice gift certificate for my work year anniversary.  I mean really nice.  We got Julia an umbrella from the book store last year for her anniversary. They made a really big deal of mine.  I’m not sure why I’m so special but if I could be sure to get one of these every year well it just might help a little.  It was such a surprise.

Jimmy’s 27th birthday is today.  He’s really grown from this cute kid to a handsome and very nice young man. He’s had a lot of love in his life.  Kinda really happy about that.

xoxoxo

Just when I was wondering if I’d ever get the urge to write a blog again I got nudged. I’m not going to mention any names but needless to say I was happy to know that someone cares. I’m told it’s been 25 days since my last blog.  So let’s see if I have anything to say…

It’s actually one week shy of being here in DeLand for a year.  One year.  Since writing that sentence I got distracted for 20 minutes watching TV. So does that mean things haven’t changed?  Actually I have kept the TV off for quite a while and that’s been going well but tonight it’s Sunday night and that’s what Sunday nights have always been about. Right?  It started with the Wonderful World of Disney way back in the day.

Ok so one year. I’m still in the same little place.  There was a little adorable house that I was almost going to move to. I mentioned it in one of my last blogs.  I alluded to it… anyway,, It was the thing that happened…well when I was at my moms in February I told her that I had decided to sign another year’s lease and the day I got home here I found out about this house coming available.  It is an adorable 2 bedroom house with a working fireplace, a screened in front porch, heat!! And central air with windows that open, a bathtub, a real kitchen, a dishwasher, a utility room with washer and dryer, a garage and a little fenced in yard with a clothes line.  Everything I could ever want (well except for the pool) – and it was practically on campus.  And I could afford the rent.  I know right?  What’s not to love.  I was “in” …until I wasn’t.  On the day I met the landlord (who was absolutely lovely) some internal switch flipped and stayed flipped and I couldn’t bring myself to commit.  In the end I passed on it.  I just don’t think I’m ready to settle in yet.  I mean maybe while I’m “stuff” free, well maybe I’ll end up in Europe for a couple of years.  Ya know? I just don’t think this is my final stop.  And I’m not ready to buy a new couch.  There’s a friend at work who is going through the same couch angst that I did all those years ago.  I feel her pain. I’m not ready.  But I’m also not signing another year’s lease..unless pressured into it as I can go month-to-month now.  I met my neighbor upstairs and that’s what she’s doing too. I even had that new friend/neighbor over one evening and made her dinner!  And then a little girl across the street – little like 16 – showed up at my doorstep with a bag of donuts and wanted to introduce herself and brought me donuts because she works at Dunkin Donuts.  So it took a year but I’m meeting a couple of people.  I feel pretty comfortable here in my little cocoon.  And I was even able to entertain Jimmy who visited a couple of weeks ago.

So Jimmy came down on the Thursday night Allegiant flight – I got a single blowup bed that is so comfortable – and I ended up sleeping in because he’s too big for it – and we had a slumber party!

The next day we went to Disney’s Animal Kingdom and stayed overnight at Disney’s Dolphin and then Saturday we went to Universal and saw Marissa.  Remember My Marissa?  She’s the best.  We went to lunch and she knew to order me tea, made sure I had my sunglasses when we left and it was so nice to have my caretaker back.  I forgot how nice it was for people to care about me and look after me.  It’s the little things. I still and always love her!  Anyway, I was exhausted after a long long day of riding rollercoasters and things that go upside down and spin around, ending with a parade and concert.  I was a trooper.  We drove back to my place late Saturday night and he flew out at 6 am on Sunday morning. I slept for like 24 hours after he left.  It was a whirlwind but oh so so fun.

I was so happy to do something Disney after living here for almost 4 years.  I almost bought a resident pass but since I’ve only gone once in 4 years I figured I better wait.  But a visit from a son was like heaven.  I love the Allegiant Thursday night/Sunday option but I haven’t been using it lately. It’s way too cold up there. It’s actually been “cold” here in Florida too – although not the same I know but it’s Florida and it’s not supposed to be this cold, especially at the end of March.  Next week though highs are back to 87!  That’s hot, but that’s what it should be here!

I’ve been going to the beach most weekends (when it’s not freezing) and now I have this routine where I roll out of bed relatively early – brush my teeth and out I go – I  get in the car, make a right and don’t stop until I get to the beach. It’s about a 30-40 minute drive.  I am looking for different beaches as I can’t stand the crowded car beaches.  I mean really it’s hard to hate a beach so I don’t want to say I hate it but I prefer a nice quiet beach with no cars on it.  And thanks to my new friend Kathy she suggested Bethune Beach this past weekend. The only trouble with this beach is it’s not a good beach for walking.

These are my problems these days, trying to find the perfect spot to waste a Saturday, read a book and find peace and quiet.  And then on the way home I have stopped to eat at the same place, Yellow Dog Eats,  as it has been my goal to try everything on the menu.  Everything is so good. Until yesterday when the bread was stale.  So maybe that’s it for the sandwiches and I’ll go back to my salad.  Anyway, it’s nice to have a little routine.  But I might branch out a bit and try another restaurant soon.

It’s hard to believe I left Pittsburgh almost 4 years ago.   And as miserable as I might be, although I am not saying that I am, but if I was saying that, this weather, the beach option, the blue sky, it really does make a difference.  I used to say if I’m going to hate my job I might as well hate it in Florida.  And well I’m just saying the weather does make difference in my overall outlook. Sue used to ask me if I was pinching myself when I first moved here way back then.  Now that I have time to think about it I do find myself, at times, not believing I’m here.  It’s truly pinch-worthy. And I mean here in Florida.  Not here in DeLand. But I’m here, working in Florida.  It’s something.  Right now I just work and live in Florida.  The next step will be to add more into the mix, like back to volunteering, hobbies, dating, ya know, more…and I’m ready and waiting….… patiently.

Not particularly inspiring words but you are all caught up.

Xoxox