Category: retirement

Halloween is over

I know, it’s a Thursday and it’s not Halloween.  But last week I didn’t post and tomorrow I thought I’d hang with my mother and today I’m feeling quite useless in the grand scheme of things so I thought perhaps I would blog. I actually did write a blog earlier this week but ended up not posting and here’s the thing about this, if I don’t post when I write it, well, then I think it’s stupid and I don’t like it and then I don’t post it. So I have to publish right away or I will overthink it. However, since I had these Halloween photos ready to share I thought at least I’d do that. And just a quick recap – my neighbor (who is actually no longer my neighbor and hasn’t been my neighbor since I moved from Mt. Washington) has these elaborate Halloween parties. This year she had this gigantic witch in her foyer (see featured photo) and our entertainment was a group of 4 ukulele players. These four musicians entertained us and then they brought ukuleles for everyone and taught us a song. It was so fun. Our host (my neighbor) makes about 8 courses of food, everyone gives each other a gift (guess what I gave everyone..) and we end up staying for hours and hours and lugging bags of food and gifts home. I mean it, and she, is/are something. I struck gold when I befriended that neighbor (all my friends are gold but just happy to have found this one too)

Here’s something I’m doing.  I started making a PowerPoint presentation from a book.  I mean, what is wrong with me? I sat here this morning designing a graph. Does this mean I miss work?  What does it mean?  I bet it means I am a frustrated jar maker who has put all her jars in boxes and in the closet and has sworn off craft shows. Will they end up at Goodwill? I’ll wait a year before I decide that.  My part time job asked me to create an Excel file and I am having fun with that.  This office, where I am working, was founded in the 50’s and the office processes are pretty much still there, in the 50’s.  Maybe the processes are more like the 70’s because at least there are computers but honestly…The guy (a boss) came out of his office yesterday and said he was going to dictate a letter to me.  I gave him this look and said “you’re really testing me…” I mean, come on. Just type the dam thing out. Right?  That’s what I ended up telling him in the end. Since I have forgotten all my shorthand (although I would love to learn it again) I said next time I’ll just type out as he talks as I can type much faster than handwrite. I thought at one point I should be a court stenographer because I type so fast…maybe I could still do that.  Hmmmm. Wouldn’t that be interesting?  Except I’d probably make too many noises with my reactions like saying “yea, right…you’re a liar” out loud. Then I’d have to keep typing “strike that.”

In other news, well I don’t have other news, which is a problem for a blogger. But here are today’s thoughts:

  • Do I give up on having Thanksgiving decorations and just surrender to the early Christmas décor?
  • Will I get my Christmas tree up in the window by the official lightup night (Nov. 18)
    • If Christmas day festivities are moving to my son’s new house, do I even bother with Christmas décor? (other than the one in my window)
  • Should I give up on moving OUT of the city and embrace city living even more by selling my car and becoming a real city person and using my free senior citizen bus pass to travel.  The only place I couldn’t travel to would be the North Hills (sorry Jean – you’d have to meet me at a Park and Ride!)
    • Thankful for Aldi’s Instacart if I go this route
  • Or do I want to buy (living in my head) a 5-bedroom house and join this Facebook group called Host a Sister and then open my house up to weary sister travelers.  Then I could cook for these “sisters” and use all my dishes instead of boxing them up and donating them to Goodwill?
  • Do I get off this chair and do yoga for 20 minutes?
  • Should I shower today or tomorrow?
  • Do I need to clean before my Medicare home health visit later today?
    • This may be the answer as well to shower today or tomorrow.
  • Do I have anything to eat?
    • How bad is it really to live on brownies?
  • If I sat here long enough and looked at my computer would a new book idea pop into my head?
    • Conversely could I continue with one of my many other book ideas I’ve already started.

The answer is to start with 20 minutes of yoga and then shower and then decide on the cleaning up idea.  Do I really care what a home health nurse would say to my throw blankets that are not folded properly and put aside? 

And I will continue on the Paint By Number. I think I can maybe even get it done by this weekend.  If I get off this chair and away from the computer…

xoxoxo

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Just because

I met a woman yesterday who is an artist. I asked her many questions since I am fascinated with the artist lifestyle and mindset.  She told me she is in the watercolor society, but also does oil abstract, then she went on and said she also does pottery. My eyes were growing bigger and bigger with envy.  I asked if she sells anything and then we had a discussion about being an artist and having the marketing, promotion, selling, mindset.  They are very different.  She also said she was a retired school teacher, I assumed art teacher, but she informed me she was a music teacher.  Another art form.  She then said art is like a calling, a pulling, and you can’t help yourself, you just have to do the art. She asked me if I have any experience with art.  And I was able to share about my musical family (grandparents, mother, sister, brother) and shared my sudden urge to do a craft, that I feel like is an addiction, and only came to me after retiring.  She offered that the creativity was pushed down all those years and was just now able to burst forth!  And then I added, quite as an afterthought, that I self-published a book.  And she’s like AHA!  “You’re a writer! You just write because you have to.”  And that does pretty much explain the blogging.  I just write because I have to.  Or is it because of JaNel and Patrick?  I’m not sure, but one thing became also very clear.  The more I go into that office (I met her at work in the office yesterday) the less I am inclined to paint a jar.  I’m just tired after working.  I come home, make something to eat, sit on the couch and wait for bedtime.  I only realized this last night when I walked right past my jars without the urge to paint before going to bed.  And that made me sad.

I have loved becoming an artist (or crafty) just for the sake of art. I look at those jars and just love them.  They’re so pretty.  And that just fills my heart.  It’s a weird and fulfilling experience. Working in an office, for me, is not a fulfilling experience; although I have not minded going into the office these past weeks.  And I got to meet that nice artsy lady yesterday who reminded me of what I’m missing by sitting in the office. I worked an extra day this week and although I was perfectly happy to pick up an extra day I think it is just one day too much.  I did not stick to my two-day boundary. I got carried away.  I have also been doing some fun new work tasks though.  Yesterday I filed a motion at the City County building.  That means I walked over there and dropped off paperwork and they stamped it.  LOL. I mean I was so excited because it was something new that I’ve never done before.  So I am torn.  I am having fun learning all these lawyer things.  I joked with my boss that I’m starting to feel like a paralegal.  But I miss my jars too.

I guess all life is a balance and I’m figuring out mine.

xoxoxo

PS – my cover photo is how far I’ve gotten on my Paint By Number.  It’s coming along!

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73

I’m not old

I was very teary leading up to the return flight back home here to Pittsburgh.  I did not want to leave SF. The whole trip couldn’t have been nicer.  I’m looking for houses in Yountville 😉 One here in Pittsburgh and one there.  Plenty of people do that, why can’t I? If only I was a successful author.

I did not have a favorite part of this trip as it was all so wonderful, but I will say going to Yountville, again, was kinda special. The last time I was there was 2 weeks before the 9/11 event (in 2001) with a group from Federated Investors. I was there as their meeting planner with a lovely night at the Ritz in San Francisco and then bussed to the Napa area, Yountville specifically, and when Jimmy was driving us through that area (and we had lunch there) it brought back all those wonderful memories. There is something about Yountville that speaks to me (and probably millions of others). Florida was like that too at one point. Well, anyway, I loved it all. All of it.

Turns out there is one thing (and only one) that could have been better.  Like someone to wrangle the suitcase. Because of the room I was staying in I had to lift the thing onto the bed each day, then open and get our stuff out, put the stuff back in, zip it and back on the floor. Because the dog also shared our room it was a lot of lugging that thing to keep the dog out.  One night I looked down to see the cat sleeping in it, but she (the cat) was sleeping on John’s side of the suitcase so I just went back to sleep.  But I’m strong right? I lug things all the time. Except…

We came home Tuesday night, more lugging of suitcase at the airport.  Those luggage turnstile thingies are not user friendly. But I did it, I lugged it off the carousel and wheeled to the car, lugged it into John’s house, unpacked his stuff, lugged it back to my car, lugged it back up to my apartment, lugged it onto the bed, unpacked my stuff, and put it away. That is just an example of one days worth of lugging. Kinda did that everyday out there. Anyway, next day, Wednesday I got up like any other day and started getting ready for my day (i.e. work) when I started having back contractions.  Had I been pregnant it would have been a clear sign for me to go to the hospital to deliver. It’s kinda funny (but not) when something new like this happens.  In my mind I’m like “what the fu** is this?” I’ve had cramps before and you know overworked muscles but this, this is like nothing I’ve experienced.  I called 911.  I was sure it was my kidneys.  It did not feel remotely like a muscle or pulled back. Ambulance guys were funny because I was standing when they got here.  They’re like “we’re here for YOU?” LOL.  I said yes, and I’m standing but that’s because I can’t sit or move and I don’t know what’s happening. Again, sure I’m in kidney failure. I started to get dizzy, my BP dropped to 90/50 I’m passing out and so they took me to the ER. I can not tell you how bad those spasms were.  And they literally came and went like a contraction. 

I was in the ER all day, from 9 to 4. They checked pee and gave me a ton of pain meds and since the pain meds didn’t seem to work they did a CT scan but in the end they didn’t find anything to keep me. The pain meds helped me sleep and by the time Zach came for me I was able to walk.  So, moral of the story, what everyone attributes this after-shock to is the suitcase lugging.

Ya know, about a month ago, I stopped doing yoga which I had been doing faithfully, daily, for over a year and then I just stopped.  I wonder why.  But I will tell you now that I will take that sh*t seriously and not stop again.  I am already doing a little cat/cow and a child’s pose helps.  I’m supposed to take it slow so no downdog I think. It’s been a couple days now, cause it’s Friday and I’m already doing better. I am planning on going to my craft fair tomorrow.  I reached out to them and they said the table is all set up and they can help me with boxes.  However, I popped a pill today and loaded the boxes in the car by myself so I think I’m going to be okay. The boxes are light.  Just probably don’t want to pop a pill before driving there. I was thinking of asking my 10 year old niece for her assistance but I don’t want anyone else in the car incase I kill myself.  I don’t need to take anyone else out with me.

So there you have it.  A not so great ending to a perfect vacation. I promised my body (we had words) that I will get back to yoga.  When talking to the doctor, still sure it was kidneys, she said “not kidneys” and I just need to strengthen my core. I wanted to reach through the phone and punch her in the face. What a stupid thing to say. Plenty of people have weak cores and don’t end up in the ER for Christmas sake. But she sent me some exercises and I’ve started them. I mean ok.  I’m old. I guess I can’t lug the suitcase like I once could.  Honestly I don’t think I ever could lug it like I was doing on this trip. I just thought I was getting away with it and so just do it. The only thing I was expecting was maybe a sore back or a couple days of my body sleeping but to out and out knock me down was uncalled for. (this is the conversation I had with my body) – So we’re coming to an agreement (me and myself).  I’ll exercise and it’ll back off (get it?) and we will work together going forward.  Next California trip is scheduled for January and that’s winter clothes.  They’re even heavier. Perhaps a personal trainer is in my future.

xoxoxo

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121

Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker

I was on a call today about promoting my book.  You know the one, the only one, Finally Florida. Which led me to look at Goodreads, which led me to update my Books Read page which led me to the fact that I have an Author page which showed me that this blog is connected to Goodreads so it automatically posts on my Goodreads Author page.  I have been so absent from writing that I forgot all about that.  I’ve obviously forgotten all about the fact that I’ve been a writer.  Well, I haven’t really forgotten it.  It’s in the back of my mind, always.  And I have my book on a table in the middle of the room so every time I walk by it I see it and remember, oh yea, I did that. For awhile I was working on subsequent books and then the Jars happened.

I have been utterly consumed with decorating Jars.  In the spiritual world (assuming like everything is connected to everything else) I have no frickin idea how decorating jars would be connected to writing.  Other than they are both creative endeavors and Julia Cameron (author of the Artist’s Way) would be very proud of me for expanding my creative self. But it doesn’t help sales of my book. Nor does it expand my goal of writing more books. So today I made a date with two other authors to see what they do to promote themselves and to try and get back to the writer that I am. I mean even Patrick hasn’t sent me a reminder to blog in MONTHS.  MONTHS!  But I am determined to revive myself as the wannabe writer than I am, or was, or am going to be again.

There is so much happening in my life since retirement. Sometimes I want to cry because I’m so busy and I really long for those beach days when I just grabbed a chair and sat on the beach and read a book.  I had no (or minimal) friends in the Florida area so I was not making plans for lunches or dinners as I do now.  It’s no one’s fault but my own.  I love my friends and I want to see them and I see a free day on my calendar and bam I have a lunch planned.  That’s how it starts you know.  Then while I’m on the phone catching up with someone who I haven’t had lunch with I start painting a jar. I am a multi-tasker at heart.  Often times when on the phone I’ll start dusting. I got that idea from Peggy a long long time ago. I dusted today while talking on the phone.  I don’t have any more jars to paint at the moment. I need to go buy some more.  But now my adorable, beautiful apartment is littered with jars and napkins (that’s what I decorate the jars with, napkins). So anyway, how is a girl supposed to find the time to write?  Oh wait, and then I thought, financially I should probably get a part time job because well I always knew I’d have to support myself in addition to Social Security right? And although I had hoped that my book would be an overnight success and then I’d be this sought after author, well, it hasn’t happened, yet.  And when I started decorating these jars it never occurred to me to sell them.  It only occurred to me to sell them because I was making too many and had no idea what to do with them. So I decided to try and sell them. That venture has just begun so whether it becomes lucrative or not is yet to be seen.

But, so, work, yea, I called a temp agency and at first there was no response.  Was that the Universe telling me no need to go down that path?  But then I doubled down and called again and this time there was a response and then they found a job that was supposed to be one day and going forward I would only be called in when the other woman called off.  Well, after the first day, “can you come back on Wednesday?” So I was like “sure.” Then it was “can you stay longer?” I agreed to two days a week, 11 am – 3 pm. That was their hours set, not mine, but it worked for me. Then they called and asked if I would work 3 days a week instead of two. Wasn’t this just supposed to be filling in for the full-time person who I was in there supplementing for when she called off? After a long call with Diane who said “you need to set boundaries” – I pulled myself up and stuck to my guns.  Two days. That’s it. That’s my boundary.

Okay then it was two days from 11 am – 3 pm.  The very next day, “can you stay until 5?”  Okay fine, and then when I go into the office the very next day, keep in mind this is like my 4th day in the office, they tell me the other girl has now quit.  For gawd’s sake. BUT I stick to my guns and no I will not work 3 days. NO. Then “well can you come in tomorrow?” (it was for a Thursday) and I said “nope, it’s mom day and she takes priority, sorry”.  I mean what have I gotten myself into? Why can’t they leave me alone?  The curse of doing a good job.

There are a couple of things I do like about the work.  Like there’s an electric typewriter still in use. I, for some reason, find this so much fun when I get to use the typewriter.  It’s so nostalgic and it all comes rushing back to me, those days of long ago before keyboards and computers.

I bought an electric typewriter once for my mom, when she was living in Virginia.  I can’t remember if she was blind already when I bought it. I might have thought that the memory of typing could be fun for her but I can’t remember the “when” of when I got it for her.  I do remember she gave it away and it broke my heart.  But if she was blind I can certainly see why. I mean really, she could type but she couldn’t read it back.  What’s the use? But I can read things back. Perhaps typing a book on a typewriter would be fun.  Hmmm, maybe there’s a spark of something there.  Hmm Hmm Hmm.

Let’s see, other aspects of working, well I don’t really mind it.  It’s full of tasks and to-do lists and well it’s not a bad thing. It’s only a couple blocks up the street so I am getting exercise when I walk there. There’s a Target on the way home so I can run in and get something to eat for the walk home (for dinner) if needed. The whole working thing makes me feel a little younger actually when I leave at 5 with the rest of the workers I weirdly feel a little young again. So there are some emotional plusses to this work-a-day thing. It’s just that I want to go away. I want to go back to Virginia for a long weekend and well if I have to work on a Monday how does that work? I shouldn’t have to worry about this work business when I’m in retirement. So I’m a little perplexed as to how it fits in the bigger picture.  My mom day (I go help with mom) is on Thursday or I could travel on a Thursday-Sunday thing.  I guess I could move Mom to Tuesday one week, work Monday, Mom Tuesday, work Wednesday and then go Thursday-Sunday..  But I just hate to accommodate stupid work.  See?  I have authority issues.

Isn’t this just like me?  Rambling on and on with just brain dumping. I mean it’s just so me. And why have I forsaken myself (and my writing) for all these months?  I’ll tell you why.  Jars!  Honestly Jars!

I love my Jars. I’ve done one Flea Market (no sales, not one) and one 2-day “Fair in the Woodlands” which wasn’t a huge success but also not a failure.  I’m hoping to do another flea market tomorrow and then I have a few craft shows in September and more to come in the fall.  There’s a lot to learn about all this and I am really enjoying all of it. I do kinda wish, in my dream head, that I just had a store front to put them in instead of lugging all this stuff around to craft shows.  Especially since my car is parked ½ block away in the city and loading and unloading is a challenge. I’m up to the challenge but wouldn’t it be easier just to plop them in a storefront, and I live in the back of the store?  LOL.  And people just come in and take what they want.  I honestly don’t even care if I sell them I just want them out of my house because I make too many! But I might as well sell them.

Okay this has gone on long enough.  If anyone at all reads this then that will be a miracle.  But not as much as the miracle I am feeling in writing it again. It’s all coming back to me.  I can be a writer AND a jar maker, a candlestick maker and baker. But not a butcher.

Hmmm, maybe I’ll make some chocolate chip cookies.

Xoxoxo

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