Nothing but blue skies..

I took my crystals on a field trip today.  Someone recently told me (or I read it) that crystals need to connect with the earth periodically.  I keep them on my windowsill and assume I am cleaning them with the sun and moon light that blasts through these gigantic windows but there is no earth right outside these windows so I packed them up and took them on a field trip to the Point.  Point State Park that is. I took water (to drink) I took a beach towel, a journal, my phone and there I sat with my stones for a pretty long time. I think it was the same area where Diane and I might have sat 44 years ago when we used to skip school and go to the Point to get sun on our faces.  I put my face in the sun for a little while today but I don’t know if it’s my age or the sun is hotter but I just can’t take that straight sunshine these days.  So I went under a tree, part shaded, part sunny.  Best of both. And there I sat with my stack of crystals and thought about life.  Figured I could use some earth grounding time as well.

These past 2 weeks have been unbelievably busy.  I believe I mentioned my youngest, James Anthony, got a job offer in San Francisco.  He had one week to pack up and one week for travel and that’s where mom comes in.  The time together was priceless (although literally costly as well) but the time we spent together packing boxes was a perfect way for us both to start this next adventure.  After a week of packing with them, I sent Jimmy and Emily on their way, on Wednesday, while I stayed behind with the moving company and movers to basically sit in the house while they packed up all their furniture.  The moving company did an excellent job of wrapping everything.  One guy to wrap, one to do all the lifting and moving to the truck and one to play Tetris in the truck.  The Tetris one is the one I should have been monitoring as in the end I’m not exactly sure they didn’t get a bit ripped off as the quote more than doubled when they said the amount of cubic feet used in the truck was blah blah amount after it was loaded.  They put the mattress in last so I couldn’t see behind it and see how much space was unused.  Crooks.  And no way I could hoist myself in the truck either.  BUT they did such a wonderful job of not banging into any walls and were so pleasant that I just left that issue between Jimmy and them and we decided it might be cheaper to buy all new furniture if ever moving across country again.  But cost aside it’s mostly going very smooth.  I just hope they get their stuff on the other end.  I mean who knows if these are real movers or what.  Anyway, after the movers were out I went the next day to clean up after them to get it ready for showings by the realtor  So the movers came Wednesday.  The kids left Wednesday. Thursday I think was a day of rest in the daytime but headed back over to take out the garbage Thursday night (and you know how that can pile up after a move) and then Friday was cleaning day.  The Veterans were to come on Friday to pick up their loot so I went on Friday morning, early, so I would be there when they “called”. Around 1 pm, no call yet so I decided to head just down the hill to the Dollar store to get a front hall door mat for the people going in and out looking at it and wouldn’t you know they show up just then – no call – and then just leave a message that they wouldn’t wait.  They called to say they were there and no one was there.  Ya know?  WTF.  I was livid.  Blind rage I tell you.  It’s an issue.  I understand. I said I’d give them the garage code.  They said they’re not allowed in the garage.  I said they were supposed to call.  They said they had no note to call.  I said you have my number don’t you?  How did you get that to call if you didn’t have the number to call (Emily made sure they had my number to call) anyway, the person I was yelling at was so wonderful, such a good customer service person and I should send her a basket of fruit.  Maybe I will because she was really good with me until she said “please quit yelling at me” – and then I felt a little bad and apologized and started crying.  I mean it was a really bad time for a couple hours.  Until I decided to rent a U-Haul and took all the stuff to Goodwill.  Eff them.  I mean seriously.  They could have waited 5 minutes and who doesn’t call first?  I mean seriously.  I rented a 10’ box truck and was loading and unloading and zipping (as much as one can zip during rush hour) all over that city.  I gotta say.  I really like driving those trucks. I’m not sure what that says about me.  But what I think it’s saying is I should buy a motorhome.  All this time I’ve been thinking I need a home-home to settle.  Maybe I just need a motorhome. And now I can drive coast to coast to visit family.  Maybe a motorhome AND a Lake House.  That’s the ticket.

So what was this blog about again?  Perspective? What was I supposed to be doing at the Point with my crystals?  Grounding I think.  See how I am? I think I’m grounding and then I go off on a tangent about motorhomes.  And you can bet I will be scrolling through motorhomes tonight on the internet.  When I lived in Port Orange, Florida there was a mall nearby that had oodles of them in the parking lot for you to walk through and I admit that’s the first time I fell in love with them.  I mean they have everything in them. Beds, kitchens, bathrooms! And then if you throw your camp chair in the motorhome storage all you need to do is pull out the side awning and you have your outdoor patio. Wouldn’t that be some kind of new thing for me.

Okay, perspective, wait no, grounding.

Well, the reality of it is now I have one child on each coast.  This is not an anomaly. I am not unique. Most of the parents I know, of my peers, have at least one child out in the world away somewhere.  Barb has all three children living hours away.  All three. At least now she has all three on the east coast. But anyway, my point being I’m not unique.  My situation is not unique, but it is new to me. And I have to figure out my place in the world again.  When I moved back to Pittsburgh I clung to the fact that my kids are here and that’s why I’m here.  But now I have one gone and one here. I do have a pretty big social life and friend circle. But I believe in my mind they are just extensions of my reason for living. My kids. That’s where I have to change my perspective. I need a different reason to exist. I mean it’s one thing to be on call to go let the dog out or dog sit while they go away, but it shouldn’t be my reason to live.  And now that I’m faced with this new situation I realize that I am STILL living for my kids.  I think this has to change.  I need another reason to live.

And I don’t mean that like literally, but I do.  I mean I just have to change my focus.

Right after I get back from dog sitting in San Francisco over Labor Day weekend.

xoxo