Dear Florida

Dear Florida,

I think about you everyday.  And I think about writing to you everyday, but everyday goes by and I don’t get around to it.  Today, I am going to try and stay with this update.  The trouble is, I have settled into my new/old surroundings.  My family, my friends, my new home, my job are all so new and familiar and my routines of work and home and family and friends keeps me way busy and when I have time off I’m usually just comatose watching TV.  So I apologize for my lack of communication and how it must feel that I’ve abandoned you, without a thought to our time together.  I have not forgotten you.  As I said I think about you everyday.

Where to begin, I am much happier to be back than I thought I would ever be.  All of the elements of life that I was missing in Florida are here. I’m finally feeling settled.  Although I liked all of my residences during my time with you I never really felt settled.  NOW I feel settled. Although I don’t see myself living in this particular house more than a year I know that I am settled in this area and not going to make any knee jerk moves abandoning my family and friends again.  I mean that said, I am all for visiting you and staying for any amount of time but I will never move my permanent residence again. At least I don’t plan on it.  I know I felt a little like a failure when I made the decision to return here but Arthur had a good point.  I wanted to move to Florida for many years, feeling like I was missing something.  Ya know, it’s because I moved too soon back in 1980 when I moved back to Sewickley from Coconut Grove.  I wasn’t ready to move back then and ever since then I felt like there was unfinished business between me and Florida.  And I finally got to return.  Not to south Florida but Florida none the less.  And I had a good go of it. I was able to live in several different areas, meet lots of different people.  I became a writer, a Reiki hospice volunteer, a Gulf sea floater, I made a glass mirror with my glass artist friend, I babysat turtle nests, I helped Tim change his trach, I lived in the woods with my mom for 6 months (that’s another book/letter), put on 20 lbs and became a big beach walker.  I enjoyed the weather everyday, and became friends with little lizards.  I did it.  I lived in Florida, BUT now I’m back.  I got it out of my system and I no longer feel like I’m missing anything.  Although I was always happy with the weather and friends it never felt like home.

Now, I finally feel like I’m home.  I love my neighbors, I love my commute, I see the city everyday with a fresh view in the morning and several views throughout the day from the 60^th floor.  Not everyone gets that experience.  It is really special and I am grateful everyday. I see my kids enough, get to help my son entertain his new puppy so he can get his chores done (just like a grandma), I am participating in life.  Lots of social events, dinner, plays, a magic show! A wedding and there is now some traveling in my future.  Nothing major, no European trips yet, but can they be far behind?

So how are you doing?  I’m reading some crazy “Florida Man” stuff all the time. Central Florida especially seems to have “too weird to be true” stories.  But other stories that are worrisome are more sharks, more brain eating ameba, and then the hurricane scares.  Of course the north has their share of snow storms which can be just as crippling as hurricanes in stopping business but they are no where near as destructive.  Speaking of snow storms, I’m still not prepared.  I ordered a pair of snow boots from Amazon but I had to return them. They weren’t perfect.  I need to get this taken care of before December.

I’ve been thinking about buying a Lake House.  You know as much as I can “buy” anything, but that’s what I’m dreaming about these days.  I know I could actually buy a Florida condo but I think a Lake/Country house is really what would make me happy. In particular these certain Lake Houses have beautiful sunsets – that is another thing I brought with me from Florida – my love of sunsets.  Soon I’ll be seeing stunning sunrises over the city on my way to work (with the time change) but it’s sunsets that are close to my heart. 

There’s some misnomers that people always think about when they think of Florida.  Bugs being of particular concern.  While it is true that Palmetto bugs can be very offputting (and large) I have more bugs here in my Pittsburgh home than I ever had in Florida.  I am inundated with fruit flies.  They are in every room of my house – not just the kitchen.  I’ve had centipedes, grass hoppers, crickets and today I saw a stink bug.  Centipedes are funny. I had one that was crossing the floor and when it saw me coming it froze, as if he thought if he stayed still I wouldn’t see him.  I had bees living in the wall and had to pay big bucks to have them removed.  I may have over reacted but I was afraid they would get inside the house.  They were yellow jackets, not honey bees, so I didn’t hurt the environment.  Then there are animals, possums, raccoons, deer (although I like them) all on my deck.  In Florida I only remember cats – and lots of them – in DeLand.  Of course I would never want to ever go in standing water because of alligators.  Ever.  I guess that’s why my interest in a Lake House might be surprising but Lakes in Pennsylvania do not have alligators.  At least not yet.  There were 3 alligators caught in Pittsburgh this summer.  That is very unsettling.

I like the cool weather a lot more than I used to.  I don’t think I was having hot flashes when I left Pittsburgh before so that might be helping me appreciate the cooler weather.  I still love the heat but I don’t dread the chill in the air like I might have once.  Actually I like the 50 degree mornings.  I just need to dress better for the afternoon chill.  I will figure this out. 

I have warm-up trips planned to get me through some of the cold months.  California next month and then Florida in January for a wedding. I’ll visit my Stetson friends at that time, if there are any friends left.

Next week I start hospice volunteering again.  They use Reiki volunteers here too so I am looking forward to incorporating that back into my life.

And that leaves writing.  Both Reiki and Writing are my two biggest takeaways from my time with you.  While I will be getting back to Reiki I have yet to find a way to continue writing.  But I will figure it out.  All of this takes time.

Oh and Arthur?  He said had I never gone back to Florida and had that experience I would never feel as settled being back as I do now.  All those years missing Florida, after 1980, and I can finally be happy.  So no failure there.  It is actually a huge win.  Isn’t that something?  Isn’t that Arthur something?

I still have trouble processing all the coming and goings and people that I meet and then leave.  And my love of some of my places where I lived.  The Winn-Dixie in Palm Harbor – I loved looking at the sunsets from the parking lot.  Isn’t that weird?  But a memory that has stuck with me.  A lot of Palm Harbor memories.  A lot of Treasure Island memories too.  DeLand I could take or leave (and leave I did).  I wish I was happier about leaving those Gulf side homes as well.  Well I have my yearly trip to Siesta Key still, I’ll just have to incorporate a ride up the coast every year for some Fireside Pizza.

But for now, I have to figure out what to wear tomorrow.  Today was 90 degrees and tomorrow is going to be 70.  I don’t know what to wear.  Is it long sleeve weather?  Today was so hot.  I did my “gardening” which consisted of dumping out my dead summer plants (in pots), replanting in the ground my summer plants that are still living and struggling to live, buying some mums, and anyway I was soaked through from sweat.  Soaked.through. Now tomorrow it’s long sleeves?  Do I put my summer clothes away?  Next week it might be back up into the 80’s.  I’m not gonna lie.  I still love the hot weather. I just need the closet space.

Don’t be mad that I haven’t written sooner. I’ve been getting settled.  It’s taking longer than I thought but it’s all been good.  Thank you again for all of your help these past years. I do think about you every day and I hope we can keep in touch.  I will always have a piece of you in my heart.

Love,

Lynn