lynn monahan

I’m in a pickle.  From what I hear there is a hurricane expected to slam Florida this weekend.  I just got back from Pittsburgh.  Had I been paying attention or watching the news instead of enjoying my family and friends I might have thought about staying in Pittsburgh…although that’s such a lie..it wouldn’t have crossed my mind at all. Although I knew a hurricane was brewing it was as tangible to me as an earthquake hitting China.  When I got back to work after returning on the 5:30 a.m. flight and everyone asked me what I thought about the hurricane all I could think of was the pile of work waiting for me and how tired I was.  STILL not thinking about it.  But as the day progressed and I got some caffeine in me I thought “hmmmm, better get some gas” which I did.  The water run not so successful and only ended up with 2 gallons of distilled water and a huge jug of Hawaiian punch.  HA!  I thought about emptying the Hawaiian punch and filling it with water. Now I think I’ll just drink the punch.  Yesterday was mostly filled with unpacking from Pittsburgh and separating my laundry piles in anticipation of laundry day (today) – I did call my mom when I went out for gas and said I was thinking of maybe heading up there because of this storm.  When you think about it that’s what my experience has been.  Remember last year when I left my beach house at 6:30 at night in a smaller tropical storm?  Well that was successful so thought I’d plan for that again for this storm too.

Today there was a bit more panic in the air.  Julia texted me early with her decision to stay here and went on a hunt for plywood – she got the last of it wherever she went.  I don’t even think she tried for water.  She probably has enough.  Then all the meetings started at work deciding on when to close campus.  An early morning email came out that said classes are cancelled as of noon tomorrow and students and faculty should go home.  Staff was to stay until 5:00 Friday.  Right?  LOL…but at the end of the day there was another announcement saying we will be totally closed tomorrow at noon and by Saturday nobody is allowed on campus.  Kids are told to go home or ride it out with friends.  No one is allowed to stay on campus.  It must be because it’s a private college cause wouldn’t you think they would make provisions to be an emergency shelter?  Apparently we are not that.

I’m doing laundry, watching the news, texting with friends.  Florida friends that I’ve communicated with still don’t know what to do for sure.  I see a split with people.  Those with homes and pets seem to want to stay.  A couple of people with babies and small children are moving to safer ground.  My friend at work asked what my “gut” was telling me.  My response?  My gut is awfully quiet.  She offered that I will know what to do when the time comes.  Again I was reminded of last year when I had my car packed (to move) and there was a storm brewing and although I had initially planned to wait out the weekend there was something on the news that triggered a response and I hit the road, in the storm at 6:30 at night.  I knew to go. And it was a smart move for the outcome I wanted, to arrive in Virginia ahead of the storm that was supposed to hit there (but didn’t).

Sooooo, I don’t know.  I mean the predictors and my family and friends are telling me to get out.  Jimmy sent me this today:

Pretty funny.

It’s not that I don’t want to leave but I just don’t know when will be the right time to do that.  That storm could still turn and head out to sea. But if it doesn’t turn it has occurred to me that if my windows are all blown out and my things are ruined, shouldn’t I be here to take care of that?  Rescue what I can? or maybe it doesn’t matter at that point as I will have nowhere to live anyway.  I guess at that point I just let the looters take it.

Not that I would mind a visit to my moms, and get my rain boots, but if it heads out to sea and I’m up there I have to turn around and head right back. I mean it’s 14 hours…one way…without sitting in a traffic jam.  Ya know?  And I don’t want to be in the “panic” traffic. I don’t know if the “panic” traffic is happening now – if it will happen tomorrow or Friday?  When does that happen? I’m kinda thinking about leaving tomorrow night although I’ve thought of leaving as late as Saturday incase it turns out to sea on Friday.  I could outrun it Saturday if it hits Miami in the morning but then that could really be panic time with people leaving and that would be the worst…getting stuck in traffic with a hurricane bearing down.

My main motivation to leave is, other than saving my life, is if it hits us or comes close, it could be a week or more without electricity and with the campus closed because of that, why would I want to stick around here when I could be in Virginia making biscuits for my mom.  Ya know?  And I’m out of Wegman’s laundry soap – just tonight ran out – so I could do a Wegman’s run, get the rain boots, see what else is at her house that I forgot about when I moved and wait out the storm, or storms if Jose ends up hitting here too.

In the meantime, look at these pretty pictures I took from the plane yesterday morning.

xoxoxox

Is it?  Is it?  As long as you’re upfront about it is it really that wrong?  I didn’t get this wish out there to the universe in time for the new moon or the solar eclipse but today as I was near tears at work thinking, why, why do I have to do this? And then this very question popped into my head.

I am sure there are men out there, especially here in Florida, retired, with a pool and a boat, that wouldn’t mind a middle age woman hanging around?  Well,,,next time, if there is a next time, I’m going right for the big bucks, not even gonna kid myself or them, of acting like I have something to offer, I’m just going in with the premise that I want nothing other than to spend their money.  That’s it.  Sure I might make dinner but I might not.  Maybe I’ll hire a cook, when I hire the maids, or maybe I’ll expect him to do all that.  Instead of going for love or even like-a-lot and acting like money doesn’t make a difference I’m just going for the money.  If I end up liking him all the better, but the liking’s not a deal breaker.  I think being a gold-digger has a bad rap.  There’s only one way to find out, I must experience this for myself.  Wouldn’t that make a good blog?

I know what you’re thinking…I’m too old to be a gold digger…but I have a young face….and big boobs.  I got this.

Until then, I’ll keep going to work…no worries.

My old “whoo” master, Amy,  once posted that the new moon (not the full moon) is supposed to be when you plant the seed of what you want to manifest in your life. Then there’s this long explanation about what sun sign the new moon is in when you plant that seed and then what sun sign the full moon is in when it’s supposed to come to fruition = all of course I couldn’t exactly follow, but I just choose to trust that something might happen.  Well anyway, this month’s new moon is on Monday.  That’s right, the same day as the Solar Eclipse!  Now, don’t you think the whoo factor will be intensified to the enth degree because of that?  I do.  I can’t help myself.  I just like all that “magical” stuff.  According to the whoo directions I should be making my goals and wishes clear during this time..leading up to the new moon and solar eclipse.  And this is the seed I’m planting….I want to move to Broadchurch in England.

Before I go any further, as a blogger, is it my responsibility to mention what is going on in our world now?  The Nazi’s?  The race issues?  Trump?  I think I’ve made my feelings about Trump pretty crystal clear on this blog before.  If I haven’t let me sum it up for you.  He’s an idiot.  An embarrassment, is extremely dangerous and stupid, a bully and an ass, and possibly the best thing that has happened to our country.  Ha!  Didn’t see that coming did you?  I didn’t either it just fell out of my head as I was typing.  Well it’s no credit to him.  He’s an idiot (as previously stated) but what I see happening is all this ugly coming up, all the hidden hate is boiling up and it’s showing itself.

There is a line in the movie Amistad spoken by Anthony Hopkins who played John Quincy Adams, it was in the closing argument he gave during the trial to free the slave Cinque in 1841.  Anthony Hopkins is such a great actor so anything coming out of his mouth I fall in love with, and this speech is no different and has resonated with me since I saw the movie way back in 1997.  The line I’m thinking of is “Give us the courage to do what is right and if it means Civil War then let it come and when it does may it be finally the last battle of the American Revolution”.  It’s really a great speech. I’ve linked it below.  The speech (if you care to listen)  is still timely about what this country was built on, and by whom, and those founding fathers aren’t all they are cracked up to be…  The bubbling up, critical mass scenario is how I am connecting Trump to John Quincy Adams and that speech.  All of this is bubbling up because Trump supports it, but maybe, just maybe, it will reach critical mass (a term coined by my friend) and something good will come of it…eventually.  How many years has it been since the Civil War? (152) And STILL we are fighting the rebel cause?  Really? Something has to be done.  Don’t you think?  I have faith in “us” – those that are against hate, of any kind, and I think we will rise above somehow.  But we can’t rise above if it’s not out in the open for us to rise above against.

I am apparently very guilty of political incorrectness.  I was telling Zach and Rachel a story and said “the blacks” – and they both screamed at me.  I had no idea what I said was insensitive. I admit I don’t know better until it’s shown to me how it sounds or what I’m saying. My mother, who I would have NEVER thought to associate the word prejudice with says the strangest things.  I just shake my head.  I would be embarrassed if she said half that stuff in public, but she has no idea how it sounds.  She thinks she’s being complimentary but she’s clearly being condescending.  I guess my comment then about “the blacks” to my kids is the same as some of the stuff my mother says to me. I think we can learn to correct are rhetoric with some sensitivity training or just having open discussions. HOWEVER, this whole Nazi thing is on a different level.  I’m glad they’re coming out of the woodwork.  Like a pimple that’s bubbling up (I know gross right?) and then it gets sooo painful and then it pops and it’s gross and then the pain is gone.  We are at the bubbling up stage.  It is not yet sooo painful but it’s heading there and then it’s going to pop, IF we’re lucky and then maybe THIS time it really will be the end of the American Revolution.  We have so much healing to do as a nation dating back to when we first landed here and killed all the Native Americans.  How are we ever going to reconcile our country if we don’t face these issues?

Well I didn’t see all that rambling coming when I sat down to write this.  I really just wanted to talk about the moon and my wanting to move to England.  But the race relation stories, Charlottesville, it’s all over the news and I cry every time I hear a story.  I would feel remiss if I didn’t at least acknowledge that I’m living in the same world.  Although my world is nowhere near what some people in this country (let alone world) live with.  My son, Zachary’s best friend in highschool was (and still is) black and I remember one time worrying about a trip he was taking through Ohio and he said “mom, I can get shot going into 7/11 on the corner” – up until that point I had never thought of that. I can’t imagine, I will never know, what that feels like to know your life is always in danger because of the color of your skin (or religion, or ethnicity.)  When I was attending Carlow College I was in class with women from the Hill District (look it up) – one woman in my class lost TWO sons.  One of them was home on break from college and got shot sitting in a car in front of 7/11.  The other son was killed a few years later.  I remember being astounded that she could get out of bed; although she admitted how long it took her to finally get out of bed.  Michelle Obama said the same thing in an interview when asked if she was worried for the safety of her husband as President. She said something like “as a black man, he can get shot walking across the street.”

The Civil war ended slavery but it didn’t touch racism.  We as a nation don’t recognize the Civil War for what is was.  It was a war to keep the Union together.  Or to create the Union. When the south wanted to secede Lincoln would have none of it.  He didn’t care about the slaves initially, he cared about the Union. (look it up here) But he gets credit for freeing the slaves, well because he did free them eventually with the emancipation proclamation.  He was not a supporter of slavery, but his focus was keeping the country together.  I don’t think Lincoln was a bad person or a bad President, I just think history gets muddled.

I wonder if Trump will end up getting credit for a particular good outcome that has nothing to do with his intent.  Wouldn’t that be something if Lincoln and Trump end up in the same sentence 100 years from now?  Historically we end up idolizing these past Presidents and fore fathers with really no facts to go on.  Just what we’ve been told.  We can only wonder what they would have tweeted.

Don’t get me wrong I hate Trump. I think he is more than just an idiot, he is dangerous, he is trying his hardest to get us all killed one way or another. He is bringing all the ugly up.  And we all, in the country, have a responsibility to look at it and figure out how to take it from here. We can’t let hate win. We can take some lessons from history and not repeat them right?  I mean we’re not just going to let another Hitler decide what happens are we?  ARE WE?  It’s like we can no longer ignore it.  Unless we move to the English countryside.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation I really must have been in the Civil War because the first thing that pops into my head is “I’ve already fought this battle.” Which of course I have not, so I don’t know why that pops in my head.  But honestly I don’t personally want to fight it again.  That’s why I want to move to England, with the rolling hills, the flowers and the farmer’s market of Broadchurch.  I can blog from anywhere in the world right?  I’ll lead a rebellion electronically from my garden cottage in the country.

If only Broadchurch was a real place.  It is not.  It is a TV show.  BUT it was filmed in a real place, and that place is pretty (although it looks a bit cold to my liking) but beautiful flowers, rolling green hills, small little quaint town, on the ocean, facing west (sunset views) ALTHOUGH, the main character claims he is watching the sunrise.  Wait a minute….my geography is off.  Well I’ll figure that part out when I start looking seriously at a map. If I can make it here in DeLand, I can make it anywhere.  Why not take on another continent when the time comes for the next move.  Bloody well,  on then mate.

https://www.awesomestories.com/asset/view/John-Quincy-Adams-Argument-in-Amistad-Case

xoxoxo

Welp, I’ve jinxed myself.  After all this time making do, and bragging about no less, my only needing two pans I think I’m being forced to buy another.  You know how I go on about my Purple Carrot box right?  Well they have a recipe where I need a small skillet for the Caramel sauce and a larger skillet for the Wildwood tofu. Normally I would say, “NO I will not dirty two pans!” – like tonight it told me to cook the rice in a small saucepan and then make the Malai sauce in a medium sauce pan and I said “NO!  I will defy you directions” and I cooked the rice first, cleaned the pot and then cooked the Malai sauce. And then just to show them who’s boss, the directions said to cook the spinach in a skillet and again I said “NO!! You’re not the boss of me!” And I decided to cook the spinach in the steamer, that I happen to have rescued from the storage wars.

This is what happens when you live alone too long.  You yell at the recipe directions.

But the other recipe, The Hanoi-style tofu, with the caramel sauce in the smaller skillet has me a little concerned with getting it just right. I might have to acquiesce. When I was babysitting my old lady in Virginia, I used to make her breakfast.  Same thing every morning.  2 eggs with a slice of American Cheese and cinnamon toast with a ton of butter.  Well, they had this little skillet that is granite or stone or something.  I thought it was something expensive and fancy but she said she got it at Kroger! HA!  So I’ve been keeping my eye out for one of those for when the time comes.  I think the time has come. I think I’ve seen them at TJ Maxx.

Apparently I’ve opened a can of worms when I bought the pie pan. Could a pasta maker be far behind?

So….how are you?  I have 45 minutes until Game of Thrones, there’s nothing else on TV at the moment (I mean really who watches Big Brother?),the dishes are done, the floors are cleaned, so I have a couple of minutes to say hey.

Hey.

Life is moving along, as life tends to do.  I have a big event this week, New Faculty Orientation, which is me using a bunch of my meeting planning skills.  So it’s all good cause I know how to do that.  I’ve been working a lot getting ready.  I’ve gone in the past two Saturdays but it’s fine because so far weekends are loonnngg.  I’m not particularly sad about the looonngg weekends, which are long because I have absolutely nothing to do, but I would rather stay busy so I don’t mind going in on a Saturday as needed.

Perhaps you think, why Lynn you could go to the beach, couldn’t you?  And I could, and I do…sometimes.  Last week I went to New Smyrna beach.  It’s an adorable little town, cute beach houses but it’s deceiving cause when you park on the cute little streets, in between the cute little houses and walk on the cute little walkways you get to this clearing and the beach is HUGE with all those cars on it.  I’m telling you I don’t like it.  I don’t like it one bit.  BUT I do like the ocean. Last week I went to read my book and ended up talking on the phone for 2 hours, but at least I was beach side.  There is a difference, I may have mentioned a thousand times, between the Gulf and the Atlantic Ocean.  The Gulf is like a lake, the ocean is BIG.  Well anyway, I didn’t go to the beach today as I got caught up in cleaning floors and then I made myself a delicious quiche for dinner.

See?

Know what’s the most exciting part of that?  It’s a new quiche/pie dish.  I have been living with 3 pans for months – even last summer.  One cast iron skillet, one saucepan and one Dutch Oven thingy.  Well anyway, it’s all I need until I decided I wanted to make myself a quiche.  Mostly I wanted to make it because I can freeze it and take it for lunches…and it’s delicious.  So anyway, my first pie pan.  Now I want to go and buy a casserole dish and make a sheet cake.  But I won’t.  At least not today.  But I feel like it’s a step towards the new me.  A new pie pan.  I love it.  I don’ t love pies but I love my new pie pan.

I’ve been thinking about what I absolutely would want if I had one of those perfect tiny houses, like what would I really have to have…given the option to have what I wanted.  I’ve decided, since I don’t have chickens, I need a garbage disposal.  I try to save most of my scraps for broth.  A trick Jean taught me.  Throw those scraps in the freezer and when you’re ready to make broth use the scraps for flavor.  But I haven’t made much broth lately and my freezer is overflowing with scraps.  Julia, my boss here, has a couple of chickens.  I tried saving scraps for her chickens but it got kinda gross taking them into the office then we were both sure they would be forgotten somewhere and rot in the back of a car.  Well anyway, in Florida there are so many bugs, it’s so hot and I just want a cleaner way to get rid of scraps…a garbage disposal is now on my “have-to-have” list.  See the things you think about when there is nothing else going on in your life?

I’ve also been thinking about funerals…or lack thereof.  As you know Lori died.  To my knowledge no funeral, she’s been cremated and I believe her Dallas friends are going to put together a memorial.  My sister in law’s mother died last night.  It’s sad.  I’m sad for her.  But again no traditional funeral.  They’ll plan something for sure but no funeral home. Jimmy’s uncle just died too. No service was planned for him either, nothing at all there. Not even a memorial planned.  It’s a weird trend isn’t it?  Back in the day it was almost always a 3 day viewing, church service, cemetery.  Even my dad, who was cremated, was in the funeral home for the service, then taken to be cremated, AFTER the service.  There are so many different religious rituals. I think the three-day thing is mainly catholic or Christian and has something to do with the belief in resurrection.  My memory is fuzzy though, its been over 10 years since I studied that kind of thing.  I often wonder how I ended up studying so much death and dying, and then not to remember any of it..but it did lead me to hospice soooo, and as soon as I get this office job into a steady rhythm I’ll get back to that hospice work.

Anyway, I think I miss the tradition of a funeral ritual.  Not that I could fly all over the country to attend the funerals but it’s kind of nice to have the option to think about whether to go or not.  It’s something I grew up with and it’s a way to get closure, give support to the family and be with friends.  But times they are a changing.  And a new tradition is perhaps emerging.  And then there is what is a life worth business my brother and I were talking about today.  Like when your grandmother dies, or your mother who lives in your grandparents house lets say, and you have all these boxes of pictures that were somebody to someone at one point, and dishes, and letters and the next generations come and throw it all out because they have absolutely no connection to it.  My mother, my blind mother, got a little upset because I moved a piece of Lennox that she had placed on a table, that I was afraid would get knocked over, and she couldn’t see anyway, and I put it in the china cupboard and she was upset because I moved it. But some old old relative gave it to my grandparents for their 50^th wedding anniversary (and I was there for that anniversary) and it obviously meant a lot to my mother.  One day soon it will end up at the Goodwill.  And that’s just sad.

That’s why you should buy your cookware at Publix and not Williams and Sonoma because it’s going to end up in the Goodwill anyway. LoL…How did this take a turn to the depressing so fast.

And that’s about all that’s on my mind these days.  Work, death, bugs, beaches and new cookware.  And now it’s time for Game of Thrones.

xoxoxo