lynn monahan

There was this curb, covered in grass – you know like the grass on the edge of the sidewalk had grown over the curb so it looked like it was all one level.  Ya know?  Well it wasn’t one level so my ankle didn’t know to take a bigger step down or out and it just twisted all up not knowing what to do since the depth of the angle didn’t register in my brain because my brain didn’t see it.  Does that sound like an old person to you?  Does it?  I don’t think so – I think it sounds like a sidewalk that needs edged.  Well the very good news, in my opinion, was I was only down a short time.  Not even 5 minutes.  A couple rubs on the side of my foot – some deep breaths and up I went.  I was actually very surprised that I was up and walking almost immediately.  Then there was a twinge in the other knee – so if I stepped wrong on the right ankle and caught myself with the left leg then that knee was screaming in pain surprising only myself that I didn’t go down completely.  But this young body of mine continued with my chore and then I even went to Publix after that and did some shopping, dropped ice off at my boss’s house and then  I went home. Not gonna lie, as the day wore on I was very shaken up and was getting sorer by the minute. I laid around, watched an episode of Dark on Netflix (anybody else watching?) and then took myself to Urgent care. …just in case.  They at first said no broken bones but called me back later and said the radiologist saw something broken – something small in the foot that they can’t do anything about anyway.  So basically I’m perfectly fine staying off my feet. And I can get around as needed.  I just decided today I would stay home, as needed, feet up and work remotely…or not.  The only reason I’m bringing this up is that I have had quite a few comments about this fall being related to my age.  The doctor made a comment that he was surprised this was my first fall. REALLY?  I mean doesn’t that seem asinine?  I didn’t see the curb?  How does that have anything to do with my age?  And why am I the only one super impressed that I didn’t do more damage, and that I did get back up, and like my ankle didn’t break in 6 places?  I mean really…I think I should be getting accolades instead of these “old” comments.  Although I don’t wish ill will on people in general, I do hope a 20 year old goes down on that curb, at some point soon, so I can say SEE?  Age. Seriously.

Yesterday I woke up, not sore as I was expecting, popped quite a few Advil just in case and took a drive, not like a random drive, I had some place I had planned to go before the tumble.  I’m going to say this about Florida… It is a crazy place to live.  I mean Central Florida is where you just don’t want to get out of your car or stop to pee.  Although I did stop to pee a couple times – and had to make three stops before I found a working restroom at a gas station.  The further you get from the coast, the more you seem to want to lock your doors, head down, and get to your destination.  But then you come to a place like Ocala where there are horse farms like you’ve never seen in your life. It’s absolutely beautiful with rolling hills even. I mean rolling in Florida! That’s a sight in itself. And grass, green mowed grass. Acres and acres of these beautiful rolling hills.  Even growing up in a town like Sewickley (or Goochland County, Virginia) where money abounds, there is nothing like Ocala horse farms.  Check out some properties: https://www.ocalahorseproperties.com/ocala-farms-for-sale/ I mean the prices aren’t bad.  Compared to some of the beach homes I’ve seen, or prices in California, a lot of these properties are a steal. I would live in Ocala in a heartbeat, if I had horses, a barn manager, a trainer, someone to tack up the horse for me when it’s time to ride, and at least 20 million dollars.

I also drove past this place.  I want to know – who is their customer?  I’m going to go back someday when I can walk around but I mean really, who is their customer?  (You might have to zoom in to see)

I’m excited to be home today and blog mid day like I used to.  Having a day off, mid week, no TV on…yet…although I’m thinking of trying a few more of that Dark series on Netflix, now that it’s mid day and I won’t scare myself to death.  I decorated my apartment already.  I’m still a bit sad of what I don’t have anymore.  I was looking for a few favorite things last night which apparently didn’t make it to this place but those pangs of loss are getting less and less impactful all the time and I’m happy to have saved anything at all.  I once again have a tree that I can look at at night when I’m watching TV.  It’s a start.

Well, I have all this time to blog and really not a lot to say.  And my blog site is all messed up. I can’t log in my usual way and am posting this in a wonky way,  and not sure what is going on there and it’s causing me undo stress to think about it 🙂 So maybe I’ll use this time to send out a few books to prospective agents.  Maybe the Gemini Full Super Moon (which is now) is when I’ll be lucky and get a taker.  Maybe today is the day.

xoxoxox

I’ve been thinking again.  I know, it’s going to be one of those kinds of blogs.  It all started because I was thinking about the blog..and my blogging and not blogging and what I blog about or don’t blog about and I was thinking about my cousin Ira. (hi Ira) Ira is my cousin but he really is my mom’s first cousin.  I mean he’s my cousin too but I did not meet him until maybe 5 years ago.  He’s a few years older than my mom, looks so much like my Grandad to me, at least he reminds me of him, not sure he actually looks that much like him. Mom says when they were kids, she felt like Ira kept an eye on her, not too close, but kept an eye out walking to the bus stop that was miles away from the house for instance. And then when she lost her sight and needed help again he’s there.  I mean doesn’t that make you cry just a little?  To think about the people who come in and out of your life?  Especially relatives.  I’m thinking about Zachary and how much he played with my sister’s kids and his other cousin when he was a growing up and he has absolutely no contact with them now.  I wonder if when he’s 80 there will be contact again? Ya know? I have/had a similar relationship with my cousins.  I remember them from when I was little –like before 10 – and then nothing until I was about 20 – and then nothing again for maybe another 10 years, and then we had the big family reunion about 5 years ago.  Well anyway, I don’t know my cousins very well but I love them because they’re family.  At least that’s how I feel.  But I digress because this wasn’t supposed to be about cousins.  See how I am?  I get so sidetracked when I type.

I was thinking about Ira because he reads my blog and when he comments he makes very thoughtful comments and has complimented me on being open and honest…stuff like that…and well lately I haven’t been sharing any heartfelt stuff.  Not that my renewed interest in the male species isn’t heartfelt  but I guess maybe I should share this whole being thrown alone into the wilds of Florida experience and update my 5 readers (down from 20) on how it’s progressing. I have met a few people on this path of mine that have commented on how brave I am to be here, all alone, knowing no one etc.  I don’t know how brave it is but it can be trying at best. I attribute a lot of the success (for lack of a better term) of this experience on having so many different experiences.  This is what I thought about today…let me be more specific…for your weekend reading pleasure.

I have always had a lot of friends. I didn’t come here to make friends, which is good cause that’s not going so well, but at this stage of my life I’m not feeling like I need to find new friends.  Not that I don’t like new friends, it’s not that, but the fact that I don’t have any friends here yet doesn’t really upset me because I already have more friends than I can make time for.  So like I’m not sad or worried about that.

Now work, well my history in the work-a-day world has always been one of confidence.  I’ve never encountered a job I couldn’t do.  Well…maybe…there was this time I had a temp job and I couldn’t figure out how to print – computers were new at the time…give me a break…anyway I did walk out of that job at lunch. LOL.  That was a long time ago, obviously.  I mean I know how to print now at least. But moving here, I wasn’t worried about being able to perform in my job here in DeLand.  Now though, for the first time in my life ever,  I am a little worried about it just because it’s too much..it’s literally a job that two people should be doing!  But I sucked it up and brought home stuff and stayed up working until 1 am last night and again today until noon or so, so I just have to quit being a baby and get it done and just do it..for now.

Men, well men, I’m not looking for one.  I won’t mind having one in my life again some day but for the first time in my life, ever, I’m not consumed with being in a relationship.  At least today.

The town is great in the way that there is always something going on. Today there is a music festival on the streets, there is a big homecoming something going on (Stetson’s homecoming) everything within walking distance.  On Halloween they closed the streets off downtown and all these people were out in costumes just walking around.  Bunch of kids dressed up.  I did walk through it just to check it out.  There’s also sky diving, there’s weekend Stetson football games (when they’re home), there’s parades, there’s craft shows, it’s really a happening place.  Of course I do none of it because I don’t have a friend…yet. (see above)  I mean I’ll walk through a craft fair but mostly I stay inside on my weekend, or go to the beach.  But just now I watched fireworks from my window.  They set fireworks off for Homecoming.  See?  I’m entertained enough.

My apartment isn’t ideal but I really don’t mind.  It’s ideal for me at this time.  It’s kinda fun when I get all excited about buying myself a new pan, which I only do when there’s a recipe that requires me to have a different pan than I have now.  I mean it’s stupid but to me it’s fun. I have everyone at work cheering me on with my pan purchases.

I’m fortunate to have a whole lot of time to think about this kind of stuff, that is when I’m not watching my shows.  In education, in higher ed anyway, there is a lot of time after an assignment when educators are asked to “reflect” on their experiences.  My job specifically has me building surveys for people to reflect on their experiences.  This year I learned the word PREflection where you’re supposed to think about what you expect to learn before you reflect on what you have learned.  Sheesh…a lot of thinking.  Based on that mindset I am probably exactly where I need to be.

I am at the midterm of my life and I’ve been given this chance to reflect on what I’ve experienced so far.  Kinda like “go to your room and think about what you did Missy!!” Kinda like that.  I don’t know that I’m being punished, I mean I really do know that I’m not being punished, but I did have to have things taken away from me in order for me to just stop and think.  I think about the big picture things now like permanence.  I think about permanence a lot, and how fleeting and fast time is.  I am surprised that I am so nostalgic for many things. I’m sure empty nesters go through that a lot.  I surprise myself though missing my kids, missing my dogs, missing Fair Oaks, missing living in Moon Township and the fall sounds of Robert Morris sports that I would hear at my apartment or living downtown and walking around the Point on the weekends.  And of course I miss Palm Harbor and Treasure Island and floating in the Gulf and walking on the beach and everything that went with that.  Well I could go on and on but I wonder if I miss things so much, why do I leave?  Why do I change?  Why did I leave my apartment in Moon Township?  Obviously there are circumstances that are inevitable and we need to change with them. Kids grow, dogs die, but there are a lot of other choices that I’ve made that I question now.  Not so much regret, but just reflect on 🙂 That’s probably the first essay question on the midterm the universe is offering me now. Question #1.  Why don’t you stay put? (PS – there is no right answer)

I think about what kind of friend I am, what kind of friend I want to be.  What kind of new friends do I want to hang out with?

I think about what kind of house/home do I want?  Do I care about a “home” like I used to?  I’m down to what I would call the bare minimum, the bare minimum for me, but do I even care?  Ya know?  Like what do I care about in a home?

This is the gift I’ve been given.  The gift of reflection.  Sure I’m lonely sometimes, not really though, I mean I’m back to talking on the phone a lot, but I wouldn’t mind having someone to hang out with on occasion…but back to now, now I’ve been given the gift of time. My job keeps me busy enough that I don’t wallow in this stuff and my detachment from any outcome gives me perspective.  I have time to think.  Sure thinking at the beach would have been nice too, but…I digress once again!

I think my purpose here in DeLand, my goal in the short term is to get back to being self-sufficient. Apparently not too quickly, but still. That’s what I gave up in my last chapter. Not my independence.  I never felt I gave that up, but I did give up being self-sufficient. I’d give that up again in a heartbeat, BUT for now I need to get back on my feet on my own. That’s what this chapter in my life is about (I think).  I mean that whole issue is a reflection question in itself isn’t it?  Being self-sufficient or being financially supported? I reflect on giving back too. Like how to pay those times back? Not will I ever get the money to pay Chase bank back, or send money to people who gave me money (although won’t that be nice someday?) but more specifically how do I pay the world back for helping me get through that?  When I get back on my feet do I donate to charities?  Do I go online and give $20 or $200 to a random go-fund me page?  Maybe a 3 bedroom house on the beach where friends and family can come stay is a pay back option? More reflection and savings needed there for sure.

I really do feel like something good is coming up – at least something new and possibly big. Retirement is only a heartbeat away.  I think about that a lot.  I mean A LOT.  I am weirdly excited to get there.  I don’t want to wish away these times, like I am so apt to do, but I just have this feeling that the best times are yet to come.  It’s my PREflection.  I expect that I’m going to be having a lot of fun when those days come but for now I will just be happy to reflect on what I’ve done to this point.

So that’s all, some soul-searching stuff to share. I’m not sad. I don’t hate my job on most days, sooomme days I think wtf, but most days I’m fine, I’ve got the beach, I got my friends at a distance and I have my new pet lizard.

Seriously I have this lizard that I kinda like having around.  It started with me trying to figure out how to get him out of the house but he got away from me of course and then was hanging on the window blinds and I told him that we would figure it out in the morning, just stay out of the kitchen.  The next morning I checked on him and he was still on the blinds but after my shower he was gone. Sooo, I figured he got out.  A couple of days later I get the mixer out to make banana bread (for work) and there he was on the mixer.  We were both stunned.  When I told him that I specifically said to stay out of the kitchen and he didn’t listen that now I guess he had to go, but I couldn’t catch him.  So I’ve decided to keep him.  I’m hoping he eats bugs because that’s what I’ve heard lizards do and I’m not feeding him, although I did put some water out for him the other day.  I’m not sure if it’s too much water and he could drown so I’ll have to research that.  He hangs out with me now in the kitchen although he still stays to the edges quick to run under that cupboard so I don’t drop something on him (I did that the other day…felt really bad) and now it’s like having a dog or a cat or a roaming baby again.  I’m always looking down so I don’t step on him.  HA!!  I haven’t named him yet.

Well anyway, I kinda like having him around.  And I’ll just let you all reflect on that!!

xoxox

Part of my job is to organize events.  Actually it’s a big part of my job.  So today was one of our Spotlight presentations.  Terry, our speaker, had a video in his presentation about Pygmy rattlesnakes and the AV set up wasn’t really working for him to show the video.  Luckily he left the room offering he knew exactly what he needed to do.  That was great news for me because this AV stuff has gotten away from me over the years.  Honestly I know that it’s not hard but in my experience it’s always been someone else’s job.  While at Thomson we’d call in an AV service.  At Federated that was Carmen’s sole purpose.  Point Park I think IT would have fixed whatever, so I haven’t bothered to really pay attention.  I mean really, I just don’t care enough.  Although I’ve been trying to act like I do.

So I was sharing with Julia that we needed to add a HDMI cord to our “meeting” box that we carry from meeting to meeting when here comes Terry back into the room with a helper.  Luckily we know to start setting up 1/2 hour before the presentation for reasons just like this.  It takes time to get that AV stuff up and running.  Plus there’s lunch.

So anyway, in comes Terry with the most beautiful human being (man) I have ever seen, prompting me to become even more interested in the ins and outs of AV business, all of the sudden. Although I didn’t realize it at the time I now know I did not take my eyes off of him. Just blatant staring. I’m not sure if my mouth was gaping open…I can’t be sure. It was probably extremely embarrassing for him.  I’m going to guess he is probably in his late 30’s…probably the age of my son Zachary.  Which normally would make me sick to my stomach but I don’t know, I think after 35 it’s kinda like we’re all the same age now aren’t we?  Well anyway, I could not take my eyes off of him because I just couldn’t get over how good looking he was. I kept looking for a flaw.  Bad teeth?  Hole in his face? Disfigured somewhere?  Nope.  Perfect. PERFECT.  So what does it all mean?

If you were my friend Diane, I think what would pop into your head is “there’s my Lynny.” I am not dead inside.  I am sure this man, whoever he is will keep one of those “stay away from this woman” pictures of me up on his desk.  But honestly I’m not even that embarrassed.  As a matter of fact if I see him again I think I’ll just admit to him that he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.  I bet he hears it all the time.  If not it is my duty to strike up a conversation and tell him, perhaps over lunch. When I was in college at Carlow, one of our nuns said she thought it was kinda like a sin to not give someone a compliment when a compliment is due.  And I’m no sinner.

I will have to go through my calendar and see what meeting I’ve scheduled is coming up.  I am sure to have AV issues and have to call someone.

xoxoxoxo

I may have mentioned this before, I have young-looking genes.  I know this because I have always been told I look a lot younger than I am.  My mother apparently has the same gene. A friend of mine at our senior dinner (yes senior in high school) said to me “if you could guarantee that you look like your mother at that age I’ll marry you” – well it went something like that.  Stupid boys, but compliment to my mom and her young genes that a high school boy thought she was hot.

So in my late 20’s people thought I was late teens,  late thirties, late 20’s and so on.  Remember the post where I said I could get a rich man because I had a young face?  Well those types of statements are based on my past experience with comments received throughout the years.  Soooo many comments about how old my son is and how young I look (he’s 35 next month!  Yikes!) One time he was so pissed because someone thought we were a couple. He was highly incensed!  He was probably like 22 at the time.  Great compliment for me though. I don’t think much about how old I look because I’ve always assumed/taken for granted that I look younger. I mean I look like I look but I’ve just thought other people think I look younger.

There’s this program through our health insurance where you can earn points (and cash and prizes) for doing particularly healthy things.  Who doesn’t like cash and prizes ya know?  So I sat down and signed up for it last night.  It takes you through a whole bunch of questions about how healthy (or unhealthy) you are.  Then you can sign up for missions (i.e. goals) and get points etc.  I sat lazily on my chair and lied about how active I am.  HA!  Not really, I was pretty honest.  Honest enough to get an age estimate based on whatever I entered of 65.  SIXTY FIVE!  An outrage.

This morning when I got to work a few of my floor mates were in the conference room happily chatting around a fresh loaf of Irish Soda bread, still warm, that Carol made and brought in.  Somehow that Rally thing came up – perhaps because I was showing how many steps I walked today as I walked to work, showing off my steps that my phone actually logs (not my broken fitbit)  Anyway, I then shared the story about signing up and how the age came back I was 65.

Dead silence.  Everyone nervously looked at each other or in Sidney’s case eyes to the floor.  I scanned the room and realized nobody knew how old I was but no one was saying “you don’t look that old” – NO ONE.  So I had to say “I’m not that old!!  Come on…!!!   Sidney said he knew better than to say anything or ask. Carol just said her age came up as one year younger. That’s it.  Even after I said I’m not that old still noone said  “you don’t look that old”  65?  Really?  Do I look 65?  WTF?

It’s not that 65 looks bad – at least not now that I’m only 6 years away.  Someone 65 is my age but doesn’t it just give you/me a stomach ache?  I was sharing my story with Robin who works downstairs who I know is close to my age – I asked her to be honest and tell me if she knew how old I was.  Stupid question and you know she was never going to be honest. She guessed 55.  So in reality  probably thinking low 60’s. But then she told me not to worry, she just got test results back that said she has the metabolism of a 99 year old.  HA!

Resche, another floor mate, recently said he liked my new glasses.  Said they made me look young and hip.  I said 35?  He said ehhh no.  45?  He just walked away.

Well I guess the past few years of stress and lack of sunscreen has taken it’s toll.  I mean I am excited about retiring…which is not that far away…but looking like retirement age?  I just thought I’d still get that “you don’t look like you’re old enough to retire” thing.

Some say you should wear your age proudly.  Having never that experience of looking older than I am it is a new experience.  I am not sure it’s going to be one I’m going to embrace.  But I’ll give it a go…

xoxoxo

When you live alone, as I do, with very little to do, you tend to start analyzing things you do.  Okay, replace all those “you’s” with “I” – “I” am analyzing even more, if you can believe it, what I do.  And I have come to realize that I hate to waste things.  It all started back in the day with Christmas trees.  Going way back, 30 years, Dennis and I would go cut one down, in the freezing cold, take it home, decorate it of course, and in the end throw it over the hillside or in the woods.  That was okay because it was like composting.  Dust to dust and all….  But then in Fair Oaks, without Dennis, I would buy real trees, Zachary hated, and I mean hated, to decorate it, we’d cut our arms all up getting those lights just right but at least to me it would be worth it. Every night I would sit by that tree, watching TV or whatever all the while adoring my tree. I loved my Christmas trees.  But then, it would end up on the curb.  ON THE CURB!!  I mean first you ask this tree to give up it’s life, but then you decorate it and admire it for a few weeks giving it the main focus of your life, I mean that tree is living high in the scheme of things and then you thank it for giving up it’s life by leaving it on the curb…with the garbage.  I couldn’t stand it.  Just couldn’t take it.  So I switched to an artificial tree.  Yes I did.  I couldn’t stand wasting that trees life.  I have been much happier with artificial.

And flowers?  I have always had a dead zone, in every house I’ve ever owned.  You know how you buy those cute little plants to brighten up your house, your table, or someone gives you as a gift and then they die?  I can’t stand throwing them in the garbage.  So I always plant them.  I even started a dead zone at my mom’s last year.  I checked on it last week when I was up there.  I actually think something (a begonia) came up.  The Poinsettia didn’t look so hot.  I should probably make them into mulch better instead of those dead sticks sticking up out of the ground.  Well, next visit.  I mean it’s okay if they are in the ground dead, just not the garbage. And at least give them a chance, ya know?

I’ve mastered the reuse of vegetables, thanks to my friend Jean, who taught me that you take allll  the scraps and keep them in the freezer until the next time you make broth.  So now after I buy one of those rotisserie chickens I throw the whole carcass, together with a couple handfuls of veggies (now frozen) simmer a few hours and I’m not gonna lie, I make really good chicken broth with those scraps.  And I mean all scraps.  Skins of onions, ends of carrots, ends of anything, seeds of peppers.  I have read the ends have all the taste and nutrients.  Well anyway, I still feel a bit bad throwing out the veggies after the broth is made (at my mom’s they go in the compost) but I have yet to figure out what to do with the scraps after cooking.  Ellen, will chickens eat those?  Are there any nutrients left for them?

And I’ve been missing my juicer lately.  That thing was like a dinosaur though.  I rarely used it the last couple years – like maybe never, so when it came to losing it in the storage wars I was okay with it.  But when I first got it I loved making carrot and apple juice, throw in a lemon, it was like heaven.  Being that it’s fall now I’ve been making applesauce.  It’s apple season (up north) so while visiting my kids I made a big pot of applesauce with the apples from the farmer’s market.  I LOVE the farmers market (but you already know that) And then at my mom’s I made applesauce for her.  So I bought a big bag of apples at Wegmans, in Richmond, and brought them here and have been making (and sharing with Julia) more applesauce.  Normally, if I still had that juicer, I would take all those cores and skins and throw them in the juicer, with a lemon and lime (left over from all these Purple Carrot recipes) and drink that delicious juice.  But instead I saved all these apple scraps for Julia’s chickens.  I kept them in the refrigerator all weekend and was thrilled to know that I was going to Julia’s for a staff meeting this morning and I could take those apple scraps to her for her chickens and therefore not waste.

I looked pretty cute for work today.  Nice linen pants, a little sleeveless lacy top (still can’t figure out those damn bra straps) and then put on my shoes that are sparkly and cute.  I got the apple scraps from the refrigerator, scoured the house for a bag to transport them there (believe it or not I threw out all my bags pre- Irma incase the house got flooded I didn’t need all those wet bags – so I put them in the recycling…see how good?) anyway, found a bag for the apple scraps I so carefully saved.  Julia is happy to have the scraps but when I bring them I have to feed the chickens myself.  The coop is in the back of the yard (as most chicken coops should be)

I looked at my shoes, looked at the apples, looked at my shoes again…thought about the walk through the wet yard to the chicken coop and threw those apples right in the garbage.

xoxoxo

My Hurrication has come to an end.  I didn’t come up with that term.  That was Krystal.  But it’s cute isn’t it?  Anyhoo, I think I left off with I wasn’t happy about fleeing but I was safe and sound in Virginia.  And I was safe and sound with electricity.

As usual I couldn’t make myself sit still in Virginia and just be peaceful.  Instead my week was filled with errands, cooking and cleaning.  My mom really does keep the house nice but it’s because she wants it to look nice that I know when I see she has missed a corner and I know she would want it cleaned well I just do it.  I don’t have to.  Nobody else that visits cares and she can’t see it.  But really she cares.  If she could see she would care.  That’s why I do it.  However, I did sit every night with her and we listened to a book a tape, John Grisham’s Sycamore Row.  It is a good book!  Total of 18 hours so my last day/night there we were on a marathon to finish.  Pretty funny.  We had a nice week. So that one picture of the “man in the woods” turned out to be a tree.  But my goodness it looked like a ghostly pair of pants and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  I didn’t notice it until dusk and there was no way I was going out to investigate until full daylight.  The full daylight showed the tree.

Since school was closed all week and I was pretty sure I had no electricity (although didn’t really check) I stayed in Virginia until the last minute with mom. Once I got the notice to get back to work on Monday I planned to leave Saturday, spending the night in Savannah, planned to get back to my apartment on Sunday and get it all put back together.  Saturday went off without a hitch.  A nice goodbye, didn’t forget anything, even got to bring some “fall” clothes that I had left there from last year (left winter clothes there still) anyway, got to Savannah and my bargain basement hotel by 6 pm.  I called Krystal, who used to work in my office at Stetson, until she quit to go to law school in Savannah, and met her for dinner. We went to Paula Deen’s restaurant “Lady and Sons” – worth the trip for sure.  I just love Savannah.

The next morning I left for home.  Traveling at a comfortable speed of 80, slow for I95, bumper to bumper traffic at 80 mpg basically,  I was in the fast lane when I heard a pop and a bit of a shake.  I thought I hit something in the road, pulled off on the shoulder on the left – you know the fast lane side – where I was sure to die, but did not.  Got out to see if I popped a tire, I did not and did not see anything under the car that looked out of place or that I was possibly dragging.  Back in the car – back on the road to more shaking – pulled of an exit that was right there.  One gas station, still boarded up from the storm but open.  Nothing else in site.  Asked the nice gentleman who worked there what to do who suggested being Sunday he thought the only possible place open was Walmart, about 6 miles away.  I went back outside to ponder what to do.

There was this small motorcycle group also at the gas station.  They were actually a little on the small and scrawny side physically as well as small in number (about 5 of them)but still wore the black leather outfits so popular with motorcycle gangs that can really be a little off-putting.  I walked past the one who remained with the bikes (while the rest were in the store) and then decided to approach him and said “do any of you guys happen to be mechanics” – to which he said “scuzzi?”  Seriously?  A French speaking motorcycle gang in the middle of Georgia.  His English was good enough to say that none of them were mechanics and when he saw me checking that the liquid on the ground was indeed water from the AC and not oil he came over to confirm that it was just water like you get from a refrigerator.  I thanked him. But he wasn’t helpful.  But funny story isn’t it?  French motorcycle gang in Georgia.  I just couldn’t make that up.

Again since I didn’t see anything under the car, tires looked okay, I headed back onto I95.  Before this, when I was talking to the French guy, I accidentally Facetimed Stephanie.  So she was still on the phone when I pulled onto the highway and the car started shaking vigorously and then the flapping noise and well clearly I couldn’t drive it.  I pulled off and I was parked at the beginning of the ramp between the highway and the off ramp and she talked me through next steps.  I called AAA, cried when they said 90 minutes, figured I was going to die because you always hear about people dying when they pull off on the shoulder for various reasons, but after about an hour I had to pee and once again Stephanie talked me through some suggestions on what to do…lol…well the important part of this part is I pulled the car over to the other side of the ramp – I don’t know why I didn’t do that in the first place.  I think I was afraid that whatever was wrong with the car would prevent the car from getting to the other side of the road.  But it did not. And then I was able to get out of the car and get some air and there was this butterfly garden or something.  All these beautiful butterflies flying around.  A couple of them I think are called bearded something.  Just beautiful.  I forgot I had to pee. It helped to have the distraction.

AAA finally showed up, took me to a Tire Kingdom, my choice after talking to Mike, Janice’s mechanic who suggested anywhere but Walmart.  Tire Kingdom said they didn’t have time to look at it that day and assured me that even if they did they wouldn’t have the part and nobody in the area would have a Mercedes part. So I left the car, I found a Hampton Inn nearby, they called me a taxi.  I checked in and walked to IHOP for food. I hadn’t eaten all day.  I missed the free breakfast at the hotel.  Anyway, after spending hours being emotionally distraught the Tire place called me and said they had time to look at it and that it appeared to be a tire issue, not mechanical.  I was thrilled.  Financially I don’t think it could have been a better outcome.  But he didn’t have the tires in stock, which was probably good since I had already checked in to the hotel and who knows if I would have gotten my money back.  After IHOP I walked back to the room, got a long bath and watched the Emmy’s.  I slept really well

Today I picked the car up around 11 am and asked again what was wrong with the tires.  I said people were going to ask and I needed to say something.  I didn’t want to say “I have this blog…” But he said he saved the tire to show me.

Kinda leaves you speechless doesn’t it? I was in shock.  I thanked him for saving my life and meant every word of it.  The damage was on the inside of the tire and all the time when I was checking the tires and looking underneath I didn’t see it.  The tow truck driver suspected a tire problem but said he looked and didn’t see anything either.  Well anyway it was well hidden to the naked eye.  I was pretty freaked out for most of the way home.

Other than hating the drive through Jacksonville the rest of the drive – about 2 hours – was uneventful.  Thank God. Once in DeLand I ran into my house to change my shirt, plugged in my AC’s, and went off to work.  It’s been a little hellish trying to get caught up – plus I missed the morning but I know by tomorrow I’ll be back up to par.

My place seemed unaffected but as I was uncovering things I found this big water stain on my chair.  Which is a bummer.  I don’t know where it’s from.  I mean obviously from the storm but did the ceiling leak?  Come through the window?  Where is it from?  It’s not wet now so it had to have happened during the storm and has since dried out.  There are no water stains on the ceiling or walls.  It’s a mystery.

The streets are filled with large piles of debris – on the sides of the roads – evidence of people cleaning up their yards.  I have not seen any big trees down…yet…some along the highway but not a lot on the few streets that I’ve been on.  Tomorrow I hope to make it to the grocery store.  We’ll see what that’s like.  Right now I don’t have internet but I did earlier.  I think it’s been spotty.

I’m waiting to watch the 11:00 news to hear about Hurricane Maria.  I am so sorry to think of the people in Puerto Rico and the other Islands.  I don’t know that I will evacuate again.  I mean it was nice to have electricity at my mom’s and lord knows there is more work to do there but I just don’t think I could do that drive again.  Not so soon anyway.  I just hope I don’t have to think about it.

xoxoxoxox

I’ve been sleeping around a lot lately.  Not like the good-ole-days (winky face) but like a visiting-from-Florida-girl I am these days.  Last weekend when I was in Pittsburgh I spent the first night at Jeans, then at Zach & Rachel’s then at my sister’s, then back to Zach’s then Janice’s.  Ya know?  That’s a lot of sleeping around.  Each day when I woke up I knew where I was. Today? I had no idea where I was when I woke up.  It took me a few moments for it to come back to me. Luckily I didn’t feel an unknown body in the bed and think “uh-oh”…but I digress (and jest)

So here I am in Florence, South Carolina. Yesterday started like a normal day other than I put on jeans and tennis shoes (instead of work clothes) to start my day and then continued with my list of getting my stuff up off the floor – cleaned out under the bed (I have wall pictures under there) – got my shoes off the floor, anything that I thought could be ruined with even a bit of water. A lot of water I’m screwed, but with just an inch or so I could save a lot of things if they’re on the bed.  I then cleaned out the refrigerator, moved things away from the windows – put my big TV up and in the closet area, unplugged everything (except appliances), turned off the water, and went to work (the office).

Surprisingly, or not that surprising maybe, there were pretty many people at work.  I actually did a couple of work things but then it was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to focus and I was not going to get anything done so after talking with my work peeps I packed up my work computer, some files, and made my decision to leave.

Everyone at the office were/are people not evacuating.  I’m not gonna lie.  I am very worried for them.  Each one has a different reason for staying. Robin has 6 dogs and is a Florida native who says she’s been through this before. Kim’s family all lives in different parts of Florida so not sure what to do or where to go.  Kathy says everyone is coming to her house and her husband assures them that they can get through a couple of days without electricity. Angela still didn’t know what she is going to do. Brenda too, staying home. Julia boarding up and staying home.

After leaving work, stopping at the ATM for cash (hurricane preparedness) I went back to my apartment to wait for the stupid Purple Carrot box.  I thought it would be so nice to take to my mom’s and cook for her/us but noooo. I waited until 1:30 and decided I needed to get on the road. Julia offered to get the box off the porch if I didn’t want to wait for it so I threw in the towel, texted her told her I was leaving and asked her to get the box whenever she could.  I have since found out that the box was delivered at 1:47…17 minutes later…of course…and she got her own box of Purple Carrot yesterday too, but she was able to donate it to other friends staying home. Anyway I can’t tell you how disappointed I was about that. I think there is probably some “stress” transference there. Truthfully the box probably wouldn’t have lasted the two days it is taking me to get to mom’s.

Continuing with my attempt to eat healthy, even in the face of hurricane evacuation,  I cooked my eggs in the morning so I would have hard-boiled eggs, I got some bananas, some grapes, filled up on water and was so proud of myself for having healthy options.  Here’s what I ate yesterday… Left over Quiche for breakfast, that gave me some digestive issues, a coke, and Butterfinger while waiting for the “box”, a whopper junior (no cheese), small fries, and some coffee caramel drink loaded with whipped cream and sticky caramel (I wanted the caffeine) when I got to northern Florida, another coke and a pack of peanut butter crackers for dinner.  I never even cracked open that cooler with healthy options.  I couldn’t reach it while driving.  Yea, that’s it.

I thought I was very smart to find some workaround roads to stay off of I95.  I looked at the maps before leaving my desk (my phone was not working at the time) and google maps showed SEVEN accidents. So I took 17 up – which parallels I95 – then got on 301 in Georgia and did a work around until I eventually wound back around and got back on I95 around Florence South Carolina.  The back roads were not only beautiful there was no one on them.  No gas in Florida but once over the state line gas was pretty plentiful. I kept topping off as Jean instructed (good instructions) and when I finally got to the hotel last night there was an open gas station next to the hotel so I am once again full to start my day today.  I knew I was getting a late start and that there would be traffic woes so I had the forethought to book a hotel room at where I thought was 1/2 way on my way to mom’s.  Thank god I reserved it as when I got here they were sold out. And my 1/2 way point – of a normally 12 hour trip to Virginia (doing the math I thought I would have been on the road 6 hours yesterday)- took me 10 hours.. I was a different state of tired.  Probably more tired than I have ever been in my life…well, that’s probably not true.  But tired none-the-less. My body and mind really thought I’d be here by like 8:00 or 9 pm. Honestly when I turned onto I95 for what I thought was the last 20 miles or less and the GPS said stay on this road for 87 miles I thought I’d die. I pulled into the hotel at midnight.  I can’t see that well at night when driving anyway and well, let’s just say I see why people wreck and die.  But I did not wreck or die and here I am in my hotel room, safe and sound, taking advantage of the last time I’ll have wi-fi in a while and blogging away.

I texted with Doug yesterday, my friend in Miami, who is not evacuating.  He is moving to a hotel though where he said the hallways our nicer when the windows blow out. Funny guy.  Called me a wimp for leaving and said it’s a true Floridan experience. Said it’s extremely unpleasant for a good while, no AC, massive heat, no clean water, but that’s what makes you a true Floridian. Yea, I’m okay with not having to prove myself there. Doug and his wife have been through many hurricanes. I really hope he’s right that those unpleasantries last only a few days. I hope that it’s windy, a couple of trees down, roofs blown off (good for Stephanie as she is in roofing sales) and it turns out to be a big nothing. Remember in the old days (or now) when the weather predicts a huge snowstorm and you get all ready to hunker down and not be able to get to work and have to play in the snow, drink hot chocolate and sit by the heater or fire? And then when the snow doesn’t come you’re so disappointed and hate the weatherman for dashing your day-off dreams?  Well it’s not like that for me now. I am so hoping that this is nothing.  I am not panicking but I am very nervous for my friends that are staying, for my apartment, for my only home and my 6 bins. And I have some PTSD from last year when I was at my mom’s trying to get back to Florida in the aftermath of Matthew going through Fayetteville North Carolina. I keep telling myself (and others) that I’m looking at this as free time off, a free vacation, why not spend it with mom kinda thing but my heart is liked stopped in anticipation for my friends and my life left behind.

I don’t know what I’m feeling but I’m not happy that I have time off, I’m not happy that I’m out safely, I’m not happy to have this mom time in the woods, I’m not happy about any of it. I’m nervous about what “could” happen. I’m nervous about my job, how I’ll get back, when I’ll get back. I hate to say it but I think it’s worse being away. I understand why people stay put. I am sure if I was living with anyone I would not have left.  Well I don’t know what I would do differently. No sense in thinking about it. For now I am sure there will be no breathing until Tuesday.

This is why I eat Hostess cupcakes.  This is why I’ll have a heart attack instead of dying of cirrhosis of the liver. If only I could release some tension by being a runner or something active.

Hmmm, come to think of it I spent an awful lot of time in the woods last year working off stress cutting wood at my moms.  On that note (and thought) I think it’s time to hit the road. I could use some of that woods/therapy time. Today’s travels should be around 5 hours.

Hopefully she doesn’t have any cupcakes.

xoxoxo