Tale as old as time

I saw Beauty and the Beast this afternoon.  I was thinking how àpropos it is for me to live around Disneyworld.  Me, who believes in magic, fairy tale endings and true love.  I mean really is there any other place more perfect in the world for me?  Please don’t tell Zachary I believe in magic.  I mean I really try and believe in the here and now and well how can you not believe in the here and now because that’s what we all live in, but in my head?  In my head it’s all magical.  I don’t even think I’m embarrassed about that.  I love Disney, I love Belle and big castles with manicured lawns.  I’m a little stunted at the moment on the whole true love thing and beasts turning into Prince’s.  I’ve loved many a beast but they pretty much stay beasts.  That could be where me and Disney part ways BUT the premise is good – unconditional love and all.  Well anyway, that was my afternoon – loving Disney and thinking about living within spitting distance – maybe like a long spit but still.

That said – I’m a true Gemini – and while I don’t like to think I’m schizophrenic – there are definitely two sides of me at the moment – and probably always.  There is the “me” that is really really looking forward to moving, getting my own apartment set up, yes even going back to work, starting all over.  I even bought a couple of plates and silverware.  See how cute?

I’m ready.  Actually I have one week yet so I’m getting ready.  I mentioned to someone the other day that this is the longest time I’ve had in the last so many years to prepare for a move.  Moving from Pittsburgh to Florida was a 2 week notice (although 5 years in my head), moving out of Palm Harbor was one week, moving from the beach to my mom’s?  One day.  Now I have practically a month to get ready and I’ve never unpacked to begin with and all my stuff is in Florida anyway (the few boxes I have left) so having this much time to prepare has been a new experience…again…for me.

So the Gemini part?  I’m sad to leave.  I know I know.  But I really didn’t see this move coming..I’m happy about it, but in my mind I had set down roots here in Virginia. Both me and my mom feel a little blind sided by all this.  That said NOBODY should live with their mother as an adult.  I mean just nobody. It’s not natural.  It’s been an interesting psychological adventure learning why I act the way I do sometimes, seeing why my siblings act the way they do (seeing my mom in everyone) – I mean it’s been interesting in a therapy kind of way.  And not to mention I think it’s been nice for my mom.  I’ve been doing a lot for her – not that she needs it of course – but I do stuff anyway because that’s who I am.  Remember my struggle to work or stay with the Baker kids even though I was not much help there in the end – because they didn’t need it?  Most kids, teenagers, don’t need it right?  They are fine, they can take care of themselves.  But it’s nice to be there for them. Same with my mom. She is fine, she can take care of herself, but it’s nice to be here.  What would be better would be to be down the street and stop by everyday but that didn’t happen.  As a matter of fact I had put us on a waiting list for me to be a paid caregiver for my mom through a county program and guess who called last week saying we cleared the waiting list?  Two weeks earlier and I would not be moving.  So what is the takeaway from that?  I am not supposed to be here taking care of her, or the call would have come 2 weeks earlier.  On that front we have someone lined up to help IF she wants it.  A lot of pressure is relieved there for me.  I can almost go guilt free.  Almost.

I will miss the garden that I was planning, I will miss the neighbors that I’m still meeting, I will miss Lori, I will miss this really crisp air, I will miss the possibilities that were in my mind.  I won’t miss the summer months here, there’s more bugs here than in Florida believe it or not, more snakes, more heat (she doesn’t believe in air conditioning) so in that regard I couldn’t be happier or timed it better to get the heck out. And well I will have my TVs hooked up in time for Game of Thrones. But there is a huge part of me – a whole half of me – that is very sad about this. And a whole side of me that is so excited I can’t stand it.  So there you go.

In other news – I am about halfway there to getting a bed.  I got some nice gifts from my blog party and have been sending out my daffodil thank yous.

I have this last week of work (where I babysit my old lady) and then I’m off.  See?  When I type that I get so excited in myself I really can’t stand it.  I’m just trying to keep it at bay because I have a whole week yet.  A. Whole.Week.  That’s a long time for me.  Anything can happen.

But if something else happens I hope it’s magical cause I think I’m on a roll.

xoxoxo