Seriously, do I even have a normal these days? I have to say it feels pretty normal being back in Florida. I stopped by my old neighborhood last night and after the initial tears which I choked back it just seemed pretty normal to walk on the beach with my neighbor friend and watch the sunset. The beach does seem particularly deserted since I left a month ago. I left on Labor Day so this must be what it’s like 150 steps from the beach after school starts. I’m thinking it’s pretty much like heaven now. Stephanie also lives about 150 steps to the beach, maybe 200 steps, but I have not been over there to walk yet. Why? Doctors appointments and job hunting of course.
My dentist and doctors appointments have had great results so that’s something going well. Also, I’m stopping by the storage unit daily waiting for the inspiration as to figuring out what to do with it all. I believe I am formulating a plan which I won’t share because it could all change tomorrow. I’ll share once it’s finalized. It’s hard though. It’s hard to know what to do with a lifetime of things when you have no where to keep them. Trying to decide what to keep, where to keep it, how to keep it and will you ever recover from parting with all those “things” that you have collected over your lifetime. LIFETIME. So I have a lot of emotional separation going on over this but I think I’m coming to terms with it. Slowly, but still getting there. Once I get to “happy” about it I’ll make my move. And I really think I’m going to get there. It will certainly be freeing. Well, maybe it won’t be. If I was confident it would be freeing I would be “there” by now. But what I’m afraid of is that it will be devastating. I’m somewhere between devastated and freeing. Again, I’ll get there. I really think I will.
I may have some internal functioning problem thing going on with this blog. Seems like nobody got “dinged” the other day when I posted about the harrowing trip from Richmond to here. I apologize for my lack of technical blogging expertise. Another thing that I will get figured out while I have the use of internet! Now that feels normal – being able to check emails, apply to jobs and blog at will. THAT is normal for me. Unplugged at my moms in Virginia, well that’s a struggle. Mom also told me it’s cold there and she’s glad that I’m not there because #1 she’d have to turn the heat on for me and #2 she knows how uncomfortable I’d be. But I tell you it should be my duty to be there and pay for her to turn the heat on so SHE’s not uncomfortable ya know? The blind woman in the woods? Have I deserted her? I think she should come live with me in Florida during the winter. I have suggested that to her. Of course I don’t know how Stephanie would feel about a blind woman bunking with us, but….
Anyway, mom would never leave her house so moving here, even if it would ever be a possibility on my end, would never be a possibility because she wouldn’t leave her house…probably. I guess once I get extremely wealthy (or even get a steady paycheck) I could just pay for that stinkin oil so she can turn it on without fear of the cost. How awful is that? What is wrong with this world? Wouldn’t it be nice to allow any senior citizen who lives solely on social security to not have to pay any utility bills, especially heat? Electricity? Water? Like the necessities of life should be free to marginally poor senior citizens. I can’t blog about this now because it’s making me feel really bad about being here in the warmth of Florida.
Check out this weather forecast for next week:
I know alot of people are loving fall/autumn right now but personally, the month I spent up north was mostly rainy and miserable. A sunny fall day IS really a perfect day but they were so few and far between when I was there. Maybe that grey (gray?) cloud followed me there but it sure looks like it’s not followed me here.
Okay, enough of the weather report. Time to go read. My friend, A.K. Downing (her professional name) has written a book. It’s really good! I’m sucked in. I need to finish it so I can write a review. But I will tell you all now that it’s good and you should all buy one and buy one for a friend. Into the Air – check out her website.
xoxoxo